It's been quite a week for seeing live (and mimed) music. I'm off to see The Human League in a few minutes with Boisvert, rounding off nine days in which I've seen a whole panoply of the great, the good and the downright desperate. Namely....Nadia, Pop! (on their farewell tour, even if no one's told them yet) and new act Baby Vader at the Nightingale last Saturday, PJ Harvey (superb) and Morrissey (astoundingly good) at the NIA on Tuesday, Kym Mazelle, Rozalla, Rachel McFarlane and Kelly Llorenna all at the Nightingale last night and 'Ver League ((c) Smash Hits c.1981) tonight.

I'm very excited about seeing Phil and the girls again, but I wish I could shake off the headache which comes from stumbling in at 6am today. (No artificial stimulants involved, just alcohol.) The latter part of last night/this morning is almost a complete blank, but I do remember turning down some quite attractive bloke, on the grounds that I was holding out for his friend. This morning, I reviewed my tactics and decided I got it wrong, but it's too late now. Regrets? I've had a few....

POP QUIZ! How many of the acts listed above have featured on a UK Number One single?
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You are Parsley the Lion - you are calm, dependable
and loveable. Others may look to you for a
guiding hand and a friendly growl.


Which Herb are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

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22.30: Do excuse me. I'm watching a 'science' programme (link now removed by five), which is explaining how physically unattractive men are able to get attractive sexual partners. I'm busy taking notes...

Later: Well, whaddayaknow? The answer, it seems, is to be famous. Mick Hucknall, Dean Gaffney, Peter Stringfellow. I think they may have a point. Bugger. Of course, in Ron Jeremy's case, I think the huge penis had something to do with it.

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4.20am Just got in. I normally bar myself from making these drunken, early morning posts when I've been out clubbing, but for once I'm not that drunk. I chatted to Nadia tonight, and had my photo taken with her, so I can die happy. Yes, I am that shallow.
I also had a 'Queer As Folk' moment and witnessed Brian Dowling shaking his tush on the Nightingale dancefloor, but more of that later! Goodnight.
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"And the Christmas bells that's ringing, are the clanging shouts of doom" (sic)

Shirley Clamp is a well-known name amongst Eurovision fans. She’s a serial tryer. Many people thought she should have won Sweden’s Melodifestivalen earlier this year with ‘Min Ka:rlek’, which would have seen her representing Sweden in Istanbul. It is indeed a fine pop song, with shades of (surprise!) Abba in the ‘aha’ chorus response. Not to be outdone, our Shirl is entering again for 2005.

Despite this, as readers of Popjustice this week (7th Dec) will know, she has found the time to cover the Christmas classic that’s currently topping our UK charts (and seemingly obsessing this here blogger). She brings a whole new, er, interpretation to the famine fave as she turns it into a Eurodisco anthem. Indeed, she brings a whole new lyric to it as well – see above for an example. (“Just sing it as you hear it Shirl - we won’t bother writing the words down for you…”) It has to be heard to be believed. So do it now, before this disappears like seasonal snow (which there won’t be in Africa this Christmas time, don’t forget).

It is unclear whether or not la Clamp or the Band Aid Trust are making any money from this, as it comes from a compilation album called 'Absolute Christmas Hitmania’. Other trashy Christmas compilations are available.

Two friends of mine who have heard this have described it, contrastingly, as “an abomination…one of the most awful records I’ve heard for a long time” and “Fab! The best version I’ve heard of it so far.” Obviously, it would have to go some way to beat blogsisters Anna and Meg’s version , but, if nothing else, Shirley has given us the opportunity to be on the dancefloor with arms aloft, while at the same time feeling good about rescuing the starving millions. You can’t ask for more than that at Christmas, can you?

More Band Aid links:
Mike compares Band Aids 1984 and 2004, ‘with surprising results’.
Destroy your copy of the Band Aid 20 single. (With photos.)

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Dear reader, a couple of technical problems which you probably know more about than I do. Any help gratefully received. Thank you kindly.

1) I've tried to upload an MP3 to this here blog, in the same way as I upload a picture, but I get an error message every time (a really long one). What am I doing wrong?

2) When saving photos to my PC from the internet, why has my PC suddenly decided that everything is a bitmap file? It defaults to bitmap, so I have to type '.jpg' at the end each time. How do I stop it happening? (Windows XP Pro.)
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Next time we're at a disappointing gig, perhaps we should spare a thought for the people who were at this one, and thank our lucky stars that we, and the band, survived it. I'm seeing Morrissey and PJ Harvey next week - both of them likely to attract their fair share of nutters, but hopefully not that extreme. Oh... shit!
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Even with a fairly effective spam filter on my e-mail, there are still some messages that get through. Some of them are revolting, some are bewildering, most of them are just plain pointless. (No, I will not click your link to 'my bank account' to update my details, particularly because you're pretending to be a bank I've never heard of anyway, which makes it unlikely that I am a customer. And you can't write English properly. Get back to school.) 99% of the spam can just be deleted and dismissed. Today though, it seems to have moved on to another level. Is it just me, or is this particularly creepy?

Hello, I have been emailing men from around my neighbourhood. First of
all my "name" is Andrea Boudreaux. This isn't my real name but I use it when my husband is out of town. I have seen you around and would like you to take me out on a date.

My husband will be out of town until Dec 24th, 2004

I must keep my information confidental so I am using a website to do so.

http://www.********.biz/********

(Link removed to protect the gullible.)

Even though I know this came from a spambot and not really from a lovely lady who is barking up the wrong tree by offering me her wares, I find this disturbing. Be off with you, madam!

While we're on the subject of frightening e-mails, a more legitimate one is offering this for sale. May I just say: Yeeeeeeeuuch! (Not office-friendly, unless you work in a sex shop.)
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...at Clotheshow Live! Yes, it's time for Chig's annual wardrobe update at the NEC. See ya!

UPDATE: Wed 08/12/04: A very successful day at Clotheshow yesterday. Shopping mission completed, fit models photographed = result! This year, thankfully, I remembered my severe debt problem and held back from some of the more irrational purchases I've made in the past. (You may not think that if you see the shirt I bought, but hey, I like it, so there!)

Pair of black shoes: £30
Jeans (with chain): £30
Black shirt with stripe detail: £25
Grey jumper: £20
Black jacket: £20

In other words, a whole new outfit for £125. That'll do nicely.
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My seeming obsession with Band Aid 20 has just about ended now, you'll be glad to know. (Like most people, I'm not that enamoured with the record anyway, just the event itself. Tonight's BBC One documentary on the recording session was very good though.) Before we let it lie, here's a list I've compiled, showing how Band Aid 20 has added to the tally of number ones for all the artists involved. With a list this long, there will probably be mistakes, so please add a comment if you spot any. Thanks.

1st number 1 single for;
Ash, Chris Martin/Coldplay, Justin Hawkins/The Darkness, Neil Hannon/The Divine Comedy, Dizzee Rascal, Ms Dynamite, Estelle, Grant Nicholas/Feeder, Danny Goffey (Supergrass, drums), Jamelia, Tom Chaplin/Keane, Beverley Knight, Lemar, Katie Melua, Roisin Murphy/Moloko, Skye/Morcheeba, Thom Yorke/Radiohead, Joss Stone, The Thrills, Fran Healy/Travis, Turin Brakes, Snow Patrol.

Also the first credited number one for Dido, although she was on Eminem’s chart-topper, ‘Stan’, scandalously uncredited.

2nd number 1 for: Natasha Bedingfield.

4th: Daniel Bedingfield.
4th: Bob Geldof; 2 with The Boomtown Rats, 1 with Band Aid.
4th: Sugababes.
4th: Midge Ure; 1 solo, 1 with Slik, 1 with Band Aid.

5th: Busted.
5th: Rachel Stevens; 4 with S Club 7.
5th: Will Young; 3 solo, 1 with Gareth Gates.

6th: Shaznay Lewis; 5 with All Saints.

8th: Bono; 5 with U2, 1 with Band Aid, 1 with LMC vs U2.

14th: Robbie Williams; 6 with Take That, 1 with Take That featuring Lulu, 1 with Nicole Kidman, 5 solo.

24th: Sir Paul McCartney (bass guitar); 17 with The Beatles, 1 with Wings, 1 with Stevie Wonder, 1 with The Christians, Holly Johnson, Gerry Marsden and Stock Aitken Waterman, 1 with Ferry Aid, 1 solo and 1 with Band Aid (technically on the 12” only).

If Damon Albarn (serving tea) had sung, it would have been his third after 2 with Blur (Country House and Beetlebum). UPDATE: In tonight's TV documentary, there was a brief shot of Damon playing the guitar, so is he on the single after all?

PS. If you were wondering what happened to Band Aids 3 to 19, wonder no more!
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1) Band Aid 20’s ‘Do They Know It’s Christmas?’ becomes the UK’s number 1 single today, having sold around 292,000 copies on CD.
2) By the end of its first official day on sale (last Monday), the single had sold more than the rest of the next 28 best-selling singles added together; just over 72,000 in chart return shops (and not quite the 100,000 which Radio1 and Tuesday’s newspapers eagerly reported).
3) Twenty years ago, the first Band Aid single sold 750,000 in its first week.
4) To make a more recent comparison, Hear’say’s debut, ‘Pure And Simple’ sold 550,000 in its first week on sale.
5) Band Aid 20 actually charted last week – it was number 144 in last week’s chart, presumably due to some naughty retailers selling it before Monday’s official release.
6) The single features not just the new version but the 1984 original version, which must be the first time it’s been on a CD single. Perhaps if more people realised this, it would be selling even better.
7) The single also features the 1985 Live Aid version, which is a shambolic mess (for which Bob Geldof apologises in advance over the intro).
8) The original Band Aid was the fastest-selling single of all time and held the record for nearly 13 years, until Elton John beat it in 1997. (Fastest-selling means sales in the first week.)
9) Official sales figures for the 1984 version are 3.55 million, second only to Elton John in the all time list.
10) Band Aid was the 543rd UK number one single.
11) Band Aid II was the 638th UK number one single.
12) Band Aid 20 is the 997th UK number one single.
13) The catalogue number for 1984’s Band Aid, on Mercury, was FEED1.
14) The catalogue number for 1989’s Band Aid II, on PWL/Polydor, was FEED2.
15) The catalogue number for Band Aid 20, on Mercury again, is 9869413. No sense of tradition, these modern record company folk.
16) Both halves of the duet who had a hit with ‘Kids’ have now been on a Band Aid single; Kylie in 1989, Robbie in 2004.
17) No artist features on all three versions; Bananarama were on the first two, Bono and Geldof himself are on the first and third, but that’s it.
18) The 1984 Band Aid made number 13 in the USA, quite some time after Christmas, but Band Aid 20 will not get an American release, not even on the US version of iTunes.
19) The single entered the download chart at #5. Last Wednesday it fell to #8. Despite this, in an attempt to be featured in Chig’s Pop Bollox, Scott Mills announced it TWICE as a new entry at number 8. Doh!
20) Big Fun sound really, really gay on that 1989 version.

Bonus fact: 21) A New Zealand radio station has banned any plays of Band Aid 20, branding it ‘rubbish’.

Oh, and that strange coincidence which links Band Aid and Band Aid II? Deep breath, here goes…. Back in October 1963, eleven years into the singles chart’s existence, Gerry and The Pacemakers became the first act to reach number one with their first three releases. That record stood until 1984, when Frankie Goes To Hollywood became only the second act to do the same. The single which completed their hat-trick, ‘The Power Of Love’ was knocked off the top by the Band Aid single. It took another five years for a third act to make number one with their first three singles, namely Jive Bunny and The Mastermixers. Their third chart-topper, in December 1989, was ‘Let’s Party’. And guess which record deposed it from the top spot? Yep, Band Aid II. Spooky.

The coincidence runs even deeper than that, because The Beatles deposed Gerry And The Pacemakers back in 1963, so Paul McCartney replaced both the first and the second acts to debut with three number ones, as he was technically on the first Band Aid (12” only).

Of course, earlier in 1989, Holly Johnson, Gerry Marsden (without The Pacemakers) and Paul McCartney had all teamed up with The Christians on another charity number one; ‘Ferry ‘Cross The Mersey’. And…one more entanglement; Frankie Goes To Hollywood had already recorded the aforementioned Gerry and The Pacemakers hit back in 1984, when it appeared as the B-side of ‘Relax’. It’s a tangled web of pop trivia…

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It'll be a damn shame if it happens, but I have a horrible feeling that the 1,000th UK number one single will be by someone who isn't even alive to see it. That’ll cause a problem for the press conferences. The reason? From the start of January, each of Elvis Presley's 18 number ones will be released as CD and 10" singles, one hit per week, over seventeen consecutive weeks. (There appear to be two released in the first week, for reasons unknown. There are also lots of mistakes on that HMV web page.) If the marketing people get it right, in terms of extra tracks etc. (and the original cover artwork looks great), these will be snapped up by collectors and new fans alike. As it can take as few as 24,000 sales to top the charts these days, it's not hard to imagine strings of consecutive Elvis number ones from January through to April.

Elvis's total of 18 already puts him top of the pile for UK number ones, one ahead of the Beatles (17), but if he scores a few more, then Cliff Richard (14), Westlife (12, including one with Mariah Carey) and Madonna (10) will surely be weeping buckets, as their realistic chances of overtaking him one day will probably be gone for ever.

I think World Of Chig may start a campaign called 'Let Someone Alive Have The 1,000th Number One Single'. More on this when we get closer. (Probably mid-January if Band Aid 20 holds on as the 997th for a few weeks.)

2005 release dates / Title(s) / Original entry - chart dated... / UK No.1 number:
3rd Jan: All Shook Up (and the box for all 18 releases) (14Jun 1957) 62nd
Also 3rd Jan: Jailhouse Rock (24 Jan 1958) 67th
10 Jan: One Night / I Got Stung (23 Jan 1959) 80th
17 Jan: A Fool Such As I / I Need Your Love Tonight (24 Apr 1959) 85th
24 Jan: It's Now Or Never (03 Nov 1960) 109th
31 Jan: Are You Lonesome Tonight? (19 Jan 1961) 112th
07 Feb: Wooden Heart (09 Mar 1961) 115th
14 Feb: Surrender (Torna Surriento) (25 May 1961) 119th
21 Feb: (Marie's The Name) His Latest Flame / Little Sister (02 Nov 1961) 129th
28 Feb: Rock-A-Hula Baby / Can't Help Falling In Love (01 Feb 1962) 133rd
07 Mar: Good Luck Charm (10 May 1962) 136th
14 Mar: She's Not You (30 Aug 1962) 140th
21 Mar: Return To Sender (29 Nov 1962) 143rd
28 Mar: (You're The) Devil In Disguise (04 Jul 1963) 154th
04 Apr: Crying In The Chapel (27 May 1965) 197th
11 Apr: The Wonder Of You (11 July 1970) 289th
18 Apr: Way Down (13 Aug 1977) 412th
25 Apr: A Little Less Conversation (Elvis vs JXL) (22 Jun 2002) 930th
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Unlike the memorable day of 25th November 1984, I haven't a clue what I was doing on Sunday 3rd December 1989, but that's the day that various luminaries of the late 80s music scene and a few hangers-on converged on Pete Waterman's studio to re-record 'Do They Know It's Christmas?' for the SAW generation (and Cliff Richard fans). Contrary to popular belief, it was all Geldof's idea again. He suggested it to Pete Waterman, who dutifully postponed his own wedding in favour of the recording day. Band Aid II were leaving it even later than the 1984 lot, but they still managed to get the 1989 Christmas Number One (for three weeks this time, not the five that the original managed). This time around, Glen Goldsmith reprised the Jody Watley role from 1984; the one who the next generation would look at and say 'who the feck is that?' (The tradition continued this year with Dizzee Rascal on Band Aid 20.)

Coming this weekend to mark Band Aid 20’s number one on Sunday:
20 facts on Band Aid, the really strange coincidence which links Band Aid and Band Aid II (and I don’t mean Bananarama) and a whole lot more related trivia.

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"I have not seen him since August."

(David Blunkett on the child he claims is his son.)

Now, excuse me, but...(Oh stop it Chig, it's just too obvious...)
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Today sees another of those ‘life markers’ that they never told us about when we were younger. My first boyfriend turns – gulp! – 40 today. It hardly seems possible, given that he was the older man of 20 and I was a mere whippersnapper of 18 when we went out with each other for the Spring and Summer of 1985. That included an impromptu visit to our first ever London Pride, when we jumped out of bed in Oxford, where he lived, caught the train to London and trundled along to Jubilee Gardens. We were just a bit too late to see Divine sailing down the Thames in a barge, but full of awe and wonder at the whole thing. Ah, happy days. Happy birthday Andy!
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As long-term readers (both of you) may remember, my sister's ex-partner is an actor and voiceover artist. He has appeared in Heartbeat, played two different speaking roles in Coronation Street, and was seen about a year ago as 'man who pulls down mini TV screen' in some TV ad for kitchen cabinets. He is now on our TVs again, although I confess I hadn't realised it was him until my sister told me this week. He is...the voice at the end of the new Spam advert!

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(Chig is feeling a bit under the weather today, so service is a little restricted.)
All photos (c)World Of Chig 2004.

(L-R)"Laurence, it says here that you've handcuffed your arms together - is that right?"
View from the G-A-Y balcony.
Nadia gives us 'A Little Bit Of Action'.
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Exclusive photos (c)World Of Chig 2004

Roll up! Roll up! Get your World of Chig endorsement here! He won, he bloomin' won! That link which has been at the bottom of my sidebar for the past two months, to Mark's voting page, clearly did the trick. (Yeah, right.) Whatever it was, our local plasterer Mark Roberts is the new Mr Gay UK, and it couldn't have happened to a nicer bloke. Last night at G-A-Y was great fun, with a posse of us there from Brum, Walsall and Coventry, supporting our two West Midlands lads. Mark's supporters included his Mum and sister down at the front (and rushing on stage when he won), which was lovely to see. Tonight, I've whizzed through a recording of last night's broadcast of the final on Living TV and it looked pretty good. (Can't see me or my friends in it though. Pah!) More on my unusual, smutty, fabulous weekend tomorrow...plus pictures of Mark which I took earlier this year. before he had even won his heat...

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WARNING: This posting is particularly low-brow, even by World Of Chig standards. If you're looking for anything political or intellectual, look away now. Besides, we did that with the Ukraine piece below.

And so, another crappy week at work comes to an end. Thankfully, I have a very unusual, ever-so-slightly pervy weekend to, er, come.

I was going to the Nightingale tomorrow night (Saturday) anyway, where, coincidentally, they are having their annual Prowler Direct P*rn Party. As if I needed an excuse, I am technically an employee of the sponsors, as I work irregularly for gaytimes, who are owned by Millivres Prowler Group. Apart from that, it was such a laugh last year, and a wonderfully pervy photo opportunity. Yesterday, however, the stakes were upped ever so slightly when Upton, the club's ents manager asked me if I would like to be a judge of the amateur strip competition which forms the on-stage entertainment tomorrow. I said yes at first, then realised that it would be impossible to take photos if I was sitting there judging the thing. Then I asked who the other judges were. The answer was three professional strippers; Stallion, Paul Grant and Rebel Red. As the phrase 'a thorn between three roses' sprang to mind, I suddenly felt very intimidated and I graciously withdrew. Ahem. Thankfully, Upton had a second offer for me anyway, so I am now going to be the 'Gale's official photographer for the night instead, for which they are paying me. Which is nice.

Then, on Sunday, I'll be driving down to London and going to the Mr Gay UK final at G-A-Y to see even more male flesh on display. At this point, local loyalty should make me say that I'll be supporting Richie, the Nightingale's representative, and I do wish him well, but I've never actually spoken to him. I'll be, er, 'rooting' for the only remaining contestant who I've chatted to over the Summer, namely Mark, Mr Walsall, who is a Nightingale regular anyway. I'm disappointed to see that my other favourite, Andy, Mr Cheltenham has apparently not survived the vote for the top twenty. (Mr Bristol Queen's Shilling, whose heat I attended and who could have won the damn thing, has reportedly withdrawn, which is a shame.) The night will be hosted by not one, but TWO Big Brother winners (although Brian's win seems to have been forgotten by whoever did the header for this). It's also live on Living TV, as part of their Big Gay Weekend, for those of you with Sky, but sadly not those of us with Freeview. (Any offers of a VHS or DVD copy in the post next week gratefully accepted - I will pay.)

If you're going to either event, please do say hello. I'll be the one with the camera(!), although the lovely PR people for Mr Gay UK have told me that no one except their one official photographer (without flash) will be able to photograph the Mr Gay UK event while it's being televised, because the flash is a problem for the TV cameras. I'll just have to make do with photographing the punters before and after, and hopefully the contestants too, later on.

On Monday, I have the day off work. Thank goodness for that.

Next week: In part two of this series, Chig critiques Nietzsche's analyses of decadence and modernity and the profound dialectical quality of his philosophy as a whole. With celebrities and semi-naked photos.
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...that Sir Bob taught the band to play.

I remember Sunday 25th November 1984 very clearly indeed. I was in my first term at university, living on campus in Dalton Tower. I didn't have a TV - not many of us did - and I hardly ever watched anything on telly. On that Sunday though, I was sitting in the TV lounge on the ground floor, watching the BBC news. I remember being very excited by their report of the recording session that had been going on since that morning, for a charity single put together by Bob Geldof and Midge Ure. Some of my favourite artists, particularly Duran Duran, who I loved, were on it. So many famous people, all coming together for the people of Africa, 'leaving their egos at the door' as they famously said. (I didn't realise until Midge Ure's Band Aid documentary on BBC Three, a fortnight ago, nearly 20 years later, how close Boy George was to not being on it. He was in bed in a New York hotel that morning, and was forced by Geldof's nagging on the phone to get on the last Concorde to London that day, only arriving at the studio in the evening.)

I couldn't wait to hear the single after watching the news report, but I distinctly remember thinking, when they said it would be released eight days later, that they would never make it in time. In the end of course, they did, and on Monday 3rd December, I walked to HMV in New Street and bought the single on 7" and 12". On Sunday 9th December, 'Do They Know It's Christmas?' deposed Frankie Goes To Hollywood's 'The Power Of Love' and flew straight to the top of the chart, with Wham! entering at number 2, giving George Michael vocals on the top two singles (and a million-seller which never made it to number one). Band Aid and 'Last Christmas/Everything She Wants' both stayed in those positions for the next five weeks, with Band Aid selling 3.5m copies, becoming the best-selling UK single since records began.

I can hardly believe the recording session was twenty years ago today, but the date of the recording is actually preserved forever as part of the recording itself, as anyone who ever played the B-side or 12" of the 1984 release might remember. Bob Geldof speaks over the backing track, after mixing the single through the night, saying;
"This record was recorded on the 25th of November 1984. It's now 8am on the morning of the 26th. We've been here 24 hours and I think it's time we went home, so from me, Bob Geldof, and Midge, we'll say good morning to you all and a million thanks to everyone on the record. Have a lovely Christmas. Bye."
The B-side and the 12" mix also feature spoken bits from some of the acts involved, plus the people who wanted to be there but couldn't make it on the day; David Bowie, Paul McCartney and an embarrassing bit from Holly Johnson, clearly recorded down the phone!

Wherever you went in December 1984, you heard the Band Aid single. People really did buy it as Christmas presents, and it seemed that every house we visited over the festive period had the single lurking near the record player. I've mentioned this before, but I had a Christmas holiday job in the kitchen of a posh restaurant that year, washing up and putting crosses in the bottoms of sprouts. We threw away any desserts that had been started, even if only one slice had been eaten. I will never, ever forget the feeling of pushing expensive cakes down the waste disposal, singing 'Feed the world' along with the radio.

And so, twenty years on, we await the appearance in the shops of Band Aid 20's version. The shops are stocking a million copies. No single has sold a million in the UK since Will and Gareth both did in 2002, and singles sales are at an all time low. It will be interesting to see how it does...
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The brilliant second series ended its first run this week, so I've removed this blog's temporary 'comedy' title (with no apologies whatsoever to anyone who didn't understand it!) If you missed the laughs on BBC Three, don't worry, it moves to BBC One next month, although some of the more outrageous bits (and there were many) will be edited out for mainstream audiences. Strange, but true.

Little Britain actually exists, in London. Let Diamond Geezer take you on a tour (from 24th November onwards).
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..

Like many other people who will be going to Kyiv next May for Eurovision, I've been keeping a close eye for the last two weeks on the Ukrainian election campaign, and was aware of its shortcomings. Even so, the news coming out of Kyiv since Sunday has been amazing and inspiring. I had already made contact in the last few weeks with a handful of gay men in Ukraine, via gaydar, so when the crowds had swelled to an estimated 200,000 people on Monday, I messaged a few of them to let them know that the Ukraine protests were getting extensive coverage here. I was excited and felt it would be good to let them know that we were watching. So, with the smell of revolution in the air, I wrote to a few of them. None of them were online on Monday night, leading me to wonder if they were actually out there protesting. I don't think they were, but I've had a few exchanges of messages since, and one couple were going there this evening;

"Hi. Thanks a lot for your support. it's very tensed here at the moment. Everyone is very concerend. heading to the downtown as well. Thanks again. We believe in our Victory."

It's a powerful thing, this internet. I feel involved with - and concerned about - people I hardly know. Amazing. I've had unsolicited messages from Ukrainians in the last 24 hours too, such as;

"Hello! How are you? do you see what is going on here in Ukraine?"

I told him about the protests being the lead story on the BBC's TV and radio news, and he replied;

"Hope till your visit everything will be OK here. Take care."

One of the people I had already communicated with in Kyiv before all this kicked off, said this yesterday (in German, but I've Babelfished it);

"Hello! I want to also hope that everything is peacefully solved. But that is hardly possible. The criminal Machtklan [gang?] wants to withdraw in no circumstances! And the people does not want to be governed by criminal ones! In the east and in the south, where he [Yanukovych] won, there are hardly demonstrations in his support, and if there are, then nowhere near as large and mainly inevitably!!! I do not want a civil war, but if it comes to it, I go also on the barricades! Greeting...

Strong stuff. I'm inspired by the determination of the Ukrainian people to continue their protests in snow and unbearable cold. I think it shows that if you've only had a sniff of democracy for 12 years or so, you hold it very dear. The people of South Africa have shown us that too. I can't help thinking that the majority of British people, if we'd had the Ukrainian situation here, would just have shrugged their shoulders and said 'oh well, there's not much we can do about it'. It's a shame we don't protest to demand a fair electoral system here too, instead of having demonstrations for such trifling irrelevances as fox-hunting. We can learn a lot from the people of Kyiv, and I look forward immensely to meeting many of them in six months' time. In the meantime, let's all keep our fingers crossed that this impasse can be resolved, either with a concession of defeat or at least a rerun of the election to internationally-recognised standards. The choice of a slave to Russia versus a slave to the West may not be a great one, but the will of the people must prevail.

And then, tonight:

Given recent history in Iraq, I never thought I'd find myself welcoming the intervention of the US in another country's business (especially a disputed election!) This evening though, I was relieved to hear Colin Powell making a forceful speech, denouncing the Ukrainian election result. It lets the 'new' President know that the world is watching and that we can't accept such a corrupt election with a 3% margin of victory. I was worried that the story would just fade away from international coverage and Ukraine would have to accept their lot, but perhaps overseas pressure can help resolve this for once (without sending in American troops).

Going back full circle to where I started with a mention of Eurovision, look who's on the barricades tonight:

Eurovision winner Ruslana, supporting pro-Western candidate Viktor Yushchenko (as she had done before the elections), with boxer Vitali Klitschko. She has now threatened to go on hunger strike if Yanukovych's 'victory' is upheld.
(All pictures (c)BBC.)
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The Band Aid 20 single has dribbled into the download chart with a whimper at number 5 tonight. Okay, so it's only been available for three days (before the CD release next Monday), but I would still have expected it to be number one. Especially as number one is U2's 'Vertigo' again, for (I think) the sixth week in the last seven. Perhaps people really are waiting to pay double (£3.99 versus £1.99 download) for the CD single, or perhaps it's just that this bears out my extensive market research (6 or 7 friends and family); people don't think it's much good. In my survey, 100% of people who don't think it's much good cited the Dizzee Rascal bit as the main reason. "Atrocious, atrocious" and "that rap bit ruins it" being quotes from colleagues. Why don't they release a version with his bit taken off?
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22.30 Corrie's just finished. Bloody hell. Bloody hell, quite literally. I think I need a lie down. Brilliant drama!
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My mate Kim is on the front cover of the Daily Star today! No, she hasn't got her baps out - she's their pop correspondent, normally confined to the inside pages. Today though, they've put her on the front, with McFly at yesterday's Smash Hits Pollwinners' Party (and inside with lascivious Lee Blue). Poptabulous!

Alright Kim, if Girls Aloud won't have you, maybe you can join us. Did you go to public school?
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I was worried, watching the news coverage on Sunday, when I saw the vastly over-rated Dizzee Rascal turning up. I feared he would be given some featured (c)rap line to ruin the Band Aid 20 song in the name of credibility wiv da kidz, and sadly it has come to pass. After inflicting 'Dream' on us; his horrendous version of 'Happy Talk', Mr Rascal (not his real name) should have been publicly flogged, not rewarded with a prominent TWO (count 'em!) lines in one of the most historic singles ever. But anyway, season of goodwill, it's for charidee an' all that... Besides, there's been enough quibbling over the single already, so let's put our musical differences aside, all join hands and heal the world. Dizzee Rascal's bit aside, the first play this morning reveals that the producers have done a brilliant job of updating the song. It sounds nothing like the original. Thankfully, it sounds nothing like Band Aid II either. The Darkness guitar bits sound excellent. Congratulations all round. The single is being released in two weeks, which means it will ned to hold onto the number 1 spot in its third week in order to make the Christmas number one. Could it be that the impetus has gone by week three and something unexpected does a 'Mad World' and creeps in at the last minute to surprise the bookies? Nah, if Eric Prydz can be number 1 for 5 weeks in 6, I'm sure Band Aid 20 can hang on for three...

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I think tonight's episode of Teachers may have set a new record - for the most times the words 'gay' and 'lesbian' have ever been mentioned in a single episode of a TV drama. The pupil coming to school dressed as Freddie Mercury and the discussion on fisting were particularly amusing.
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Right then. The campaign starts here.



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"Well done George. Business as usual, ja?"
"Congratulations Mr. Bush, sir. Business as usual, sir?"
"Well done Mister Bush. Business as usual, my friends."
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It's now 2.48am. Despite the temptation to continue watching the BBC's Presidential election 'results' programme (with no real results yet, just predictions), I've decided to go to bed now. There are people still queueing to vote in some parts of the States. They are all entitled to vote, even though voting should have stopped, because they turned up in time, before the polls were due to close.

Whatever the result of this election turns out to be, one thing is clear; the American election system is rotten from top to bottom. People don't know if their votes count, machines have broken down, judges have been sitting, ordering officials to use paper ballots, dead people have been registered to vote (and will probably have turned up today!) and not all the states allocate their electoral college votes in the same way. At the end of it all, there's no guarantee anyway that the candidate with the most votes across the country will win. It didn't happen in 2000, it may not happen tonight. (It doesn't always happen in the UK either - I'm not smug. We always have governments on 40% or less here, and in the 1970s, we even had a case where the government received fewer votes than the party which ended up forming the opposition.)

If this wasn't so serious, it would be hilarious, but, with the result feared to be so close, it's making a farce of any pretence at democracy. The lawyers, hovering like vultures in every state, will claw away even more of the fragile veneer of democracy covering this mess.)

Current electoral college votes as I retire: Bush 186, Kerry 112, Nader 0(!). It's totally meaningless though - it's just that the normally more Republican states have declared early. In reality only one electoral college vote has changed hands since last time, and that's gone from Democrat to Republican, worryingly. I wonder what we'll wake up to in a few hours? Goodnight.
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Chart observers may have noticed that the Manic Street Preachers slide from last week's highest new entry position of no. 2 all the way down to number 22 this week, with 'The Love Of Richard Nixon'. I can't swear to it, but this may be a record drop from number 2. I can't ever remember a single dropping from runner-up position to outside the top 20 in one week. Can you?

Even the number 2 single with the shortest ever run in the Top 75 didn't fall that far. Shut Up And Dance's abomination, 'Raving I'm Raving' had a chart stay of only two weeks in May 1992, debuting at no.2, dropping to no. 15, then disappearing completely, because it had to be deleted. Not on the grounds of taste per se , but because the naughty producers hadn't received Marc Cohn's permission to release this bastardisation cover version of his 1991 'Walking In Memphis' hit. It will be worth watching the chart on Sunday to see if the Manics can drop out of the Top 75 altogether and effectively beat this record for 'worst-performing number 2 hit'.

Spot the difference:

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I was slightly thrown last night when watching the TV news coverage of this. They showed a few seconds of video of the man who has been killed, in conversation with another man at a bar. The man he was speaking to was someone I went to school with. I haven't had what you'd call a conversation with him in 20 years, but I've seen him and know what he does for a living, so I know for sure that it was him. Still disturbing though, to see his face on screen in the context of such a horrific and depressing news story.
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Surreal moment of the weekend:
Saturday night/Sunday morning, 2am (BST). Going into the office at the Nightingale with a friend, seeing the two guys who were already in there staring up at the wall. "Look at the clock!", exclaimed my friend. There, before our very eyes, were the hands of the clock, whizzing round and round at great speed. This clock, instead of going back by one hour, was going forward by eleven. Just for a few moments, (helped by copious amounts of Stella), I sensed not only British Summer Time slipping away, but a feeling that I was engaged in time travel like every character in every film or TV programme that has ever used the obvious 'speeded-up clocks' imagery. Very strange.
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Heaven help us all.
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WARNING: Blatant self-publicity moment coming up.
Stuck for something to read this weekend? Chig can heartily recommend the new issue of gaytimes (below). The fact that Chig has written and photographed the three page report on Cardiff Mardi Gras is, of course, entirely coincidental. Here are two of the pictures which didn't get in. Can't think why...

(L-R) The voice of an angel meets the spawn of the devil, November's cover and the lovely Andy Harvey, Cheltenham's Mr Gay UK contender, succeeds in making himself look even more attractive by standing next to Chig.
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More nonsense this week from the Yahoo! Launch chart commentary . It's about Travis and their new entry at number 20 with 'Walking In The Sun'. James says;

"A measure of just how far they had declined came in April when their long awaited new single 'Love Will Come Through' made a miserable Number 28, their smallest hit single since they were relative unknowns back in 1997."

Their smallest hit? Really? I don't think so. You only have to look back to the single before that to see Travis's lowest charting single. 'The Beautiful Occupation' made a measly number 48 last December; their only single since they started having hits to miss the top 40. (Releasing a single in Christmas week which alluded to the war in Iraq was never going to be good for airplay or sales.) When I went to school, number 48 was a lower chart position than 28.
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That's the election, Mr. Bush. Who would have thought it? Eminem releases a special video track, 'Mosh', just ahead of the Presidential election. Forget the rather lightweight, Michael Jackson-baiting single out next week (Just Lose It), this is dark and brooding Eminem back on biting form. 'Mosh' starts off with a plane crashing into a building while 'Bush' is in front of a classroom full of children. Haven't we seen that somewhere before? It ends with the simple message 'VOTE on November 2'. What's in between is dark and aggressive, and pretty direct; "Fuck Bush, until they bring the troops home," for instance. Never in a million years would I have expected Eminem to issue an anti-Bush tirade like this. My opinion of Eminem has shot up. Could this be the secret weapon that Kerry needs to deliver the youth vote? God, I hope so. And so do seven out of every eight people in Europe, according to the polls. Fingers crossed for Tuesday. Let's hope America doesn't sleepwalk us all into another nightmare 4 years of cowboy control, but votes in Kerry and starts to be respected in the world again. Simplistic? Of course, but the alternative is too horrendous to contemplate.

Source of hope: Republicans For Kerry. Yes, you did read that right.
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John Peel 1939 - 2004. Will be sadly missed around these parts.
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Back so soon? 'Fraid so. Listeners to the Radio 1 Top 40 today had to put up with Darius wittering on about Hear'say. He managed two untruths in the space of one breath. First, he declared that 'Pure And Simple' was "the biggest-selling single ever", which I think Elton John might challenge. It's not even the biggest-selling single to emerge from the Popstars/Pop Idol format; that honour belongs to Will Young. What he probably meant was that it's the fastest-selling single (in its first week on sale) by a group, which is true, but slightly more specific. Hear'say's debut is currently the 65th best-selling single of all time in the UK.

Darius then said that Hear'say "never got further than one album". Oh, really? Could have fooled me. Mind you, this BBC review does explain why people have tried to forget.

Hear'say's first album...........and an optical illusion.
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With Eric Prydz hanging on for yet another week today (making 5 weeks in total; the most since Blackeyed Peas a year ago), we are faced with an intriguing possibility. It's exactly 8 weeks today that we'll get to find out the Christmas number one. If we get a new number one every week for the next eight weeks, the Christmas chart-topper (or Band Aid III as I think we can safely call it) will also be the 1,000th number one. Wouldn't that be something? I doubt if it'll happen though - we're probably looking at late January or early February before the 1,000th arrives.

In the meantime, some future battles for the top spot:
This week: Daniel Bedingfield v. The Noise Next Door
November: The Battle of the Mickey Mouse Club cover versions: Britney's 'My Prerogative' v. Christina & Missy's 'Car Wash'.
19 December: Band Aid III v. Ronan & Yusuf's 'Father And Son' v. Joss Stone & Mick Jagger. All bets are off.
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On tonight's 'X Factor', Simon Cowell accused Louis Walsh of making his acts look dated.
What an absurd idea.


Peters & Lee, Top Of The Pops, circa 1973 and 2 To Go, The X Factor, today.
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The first in an occasional new series where Chig exposes the rubbish, lies and stupid mistakes in the pop media. (It'll mainly be quotes from the script of cd:uk, to be honest, judging from their recent levels of accuracy.)

First up, it's been on the Launch website for five days now and they still haven't corrected it, so it's time to expose the Pop Bollox in this week's chart commentary. It says there, bold as you like, talking about last Sunday's surprise return to the UK's number one spot;

"Eric Prydz's 'Call On Me' [...] has reversed its decline and once again ascends to the top of the charts. It is the first record to do so since Daniel Bedingfield's 'Gotta Get Thru This' sneaked back to Number One in early 2002 having been deposed from the top of the charts a full three weeks earlier. No other singles have managed this since the heady days of 1996-8."

No other singles have climbed back to number one since 1998, huh? Utter rubbish. As any self-respecting Sclubber knows, 'Don't Stop Movin'' also had two spells at number one in May 2001. It was one week each time, with two weeks off in the middle to give Geri Halliwell a go. In my calendar, May 2001 is "since 1998", so the first Pop Bollox award goes to James Masterton and Yahoo! Launch. Congratulations to them. And remember, pop kids, don't believe what you read.
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Today's featured chart, in the first of an occasional series.

I'm sure, like me, you've lost count of the number of times you have stopped yourself in your tracks in the middle of a boring day, and thought, "I wonder what the people of Zagreb are downloading onto their mobile phones? What's ringing in Rovinj? What's 'ot in Opatija?" Well, one of the joys of the day job is that we get this information on our intrawebnet thing. So now, I can share with you the top three from...(trumpet):

Croatia's Ringtone Chart for September

1 NEW Dragostea Din Tei
2 NEW Wild Dance
3 (6) Lane Moje

I can't be bothered with the rest of the top ten as I don't recognise any of the other titles. But let's just look at the top three from the bottom up and see if we can spot what's been influencing Croatians' choices of ringtones...

Number 3 is the beautiful song which came 2nd in this year's Eurovision for Croatia's neighbours Serbia & Montenegro (narrowly failing to secure Chig a handsome win at the bookies, but we'll gloss over that). I bet it sounds rubbish as a ringtone.

At number 2 is Ruslana's Eurovision winner from Ukraine - a hit all over Europe but just one measly week in the UK chart in the low 40s. Such a big, epic song must sound absolutely shite as a ringtone.

Top of the download pops in Croatia is the biggest European hit of the Summer from O-Zone (and the other version from Haiducii). It probably sounds perfect as a ringtone. At last, I hear you cry, one that has no connection with Eurovision. But hold it right there. If the rumours are correct, one country making their Eurovision debut in Kyiv next year will be Moldova. And where are O-Zone from? That's right, Moldova. Sorted. Get O-Zone in. Get a song that's a bit like 'Dragostea Din Tei'. Winner. You heard it here first.

(And just in case you thought O-Zone were merely novelty one hit wonders, let me point out that their follow-up single, 'Despre Tine' is currently number one in Norway, which is quite a long way from Moldova. Pan-European appeal, you see. Be very scared.)
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Nothing seems to work out the way it's planned for me at the moment, and my broadband experience is proving to be more than a little frustrating. (My new car has been vandalised twice in the last three weeks too, which is going to cost me about two hundred pounds to fix.) Far from being on all the time, my broadband modem keeps dropping the connection and I have to dial up again. This always needs doing twice, as the first attempt only lasts about ten seconds before dropping again. Worse than this though, it's completely hit and miss whether the broadband modem is ready to go on line at all (ie. with two solid green lights on). Some days, it just doesn't respond. I have uninstalled and reinstalled the broadband software about ten times in the last week, as that's the only thing that gets it going again, but it's completely random whether or not it works. (Three attempts tonight, for example.) I spent some time on the phone last week to a very helpful guy at Wanadoo's customer support centre. He's sending me a new modem, just in case the one I have has a loose connection or something. I'm rather more worried that it's something to do with some vile infection that I keep seeing on my PC; a mischievous program that keeps reinstalling itself and producing a pop-up that says 'Please select your country', with a drop-down menu. I have steadfastly refused to click on it, except for the red cross, which does nothing, and fails to delete it. As I write now, there are eleven versions of this at the bottom of the screen, which won't go away until I reboot. They are linked to an .exe file which keeps reinstalling itself in the C:/ drive, with a numerical name. Even though I've deleted it from there AND from the recycle bin, then rebooted, it keeps coming back. I have anti-virus software AND a firewall AND MS Servicepack 2 AND Ad-Aware, which I've been running almost hourly, so how the f*ck is it still infecting my machine, and how do I get rid of it? Any help gratefully accepted...
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A quick question for music lovers: Why has Depeche Mode's 1990 hit 'Enjoy The Silence' suddenly appeared this week as a new entry at no.17 in the download chart? If it was 'Personal Jesus', I could understand, as Marilyn Manson's cover version is released on CD tomorrow. But why this track? Have I missed something?
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Chig's big anniversary. It's not just Radio 1's birthday today, but today is the TWENTIETH anniversary of me coming to live in Birmingham. I can hardly believe it's been that long - I only came here for three (or four) years at Aston University, but as I still haven't yet decided what I want to do when I grow up(!), I'm still here.

Wednesday 30th September 1984 was such a life-changing day for me that the date has been etched on my memory ever since. The day I left the family home. The day I moved to Birmingham. The day I started Uni. It was even the day I opened my bank account with Midland Bank (and I'm still with their successor, HSBC). More importantly though, for me at the time, it was the day that, at long last, I could start to BE GAY. That was the foremost thought on my mind that day, never mind the course. I had seen a poster on the noticeboard in the Guild of Students for the Lesbian & Gay Soc when I'd been to Aston's open day, and I wondered if I would be able to pluck up the courage to join. My optimism for a new life immediately was about to be shattered though, and Freshers' Week got off to the worst start possible, but that's a story for another day...
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It's been a busy Summer. So many men, so little time.... And then Chig woke up, and it was Autumn.
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Yeeeeeeee-haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar!! It's working! It's bloody working! It's 21.40 and I appear to have successfully installed my new Wanadoo modem in the last ten minutes, so I am now officially back in cyberspace, on the new, super-duper home PC, and on broadband for the first time. Hurrah! It's in a different room as well, so this really does feel like a fresh start. It may be the last day of Summer today (how depressing), but the new season on World Of Chig is about to start. Not quite sure what it 'll be starting with exactly, but give me a few days to do a bit of Spring cleaning around here and all the usual rubbish will resume. With photos. Lots of photos. It's been a very photographic Summer.

I must put on record my eternal gratitude to my mate Gregster, who has helped me at every stage of the way with the investigating, purchasing, building, installing and trouble-shooting of this new PC. For the meagre payment of pizzas, biscuits and the occasional DVD, he has guided this technical ignoramus through it all. I can't overstate how grateful I am. (He now wishes his own PC was as good as mine!) Thanks Gregster.

Music fans, it's time to get your thinking caps on once again. Very shortly, I shall be launching a new project which will need your input. See the 50 Number Ones Project on the left sidebar for a reminder of what we did two years ago. The new project isn't a repeat of that, but it will give us something to do as the nights draw in and we await the imminent arrival of the UK's 1,000th number one single. (Nine chart-toppers to go!) See you soon. (Okay, I know that in reality no one is reading this, but if you have spotted this, do feel free to leave a comment, and then I'll know that I'm not talking into the void...)

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Chig is currently too preoccupied with watching Roman Sebrle in his lycra unitard and Tony Ally in his Speedos, to bother writing anything here. Except this bit:

The good news is that the new PC is 75% built (and looking fookin' ace!) thanks to the Gregster. The bad news is that the old PC has now been cannibalised and now has no power source, so Chig has no means of being on the net until the new one is ready (apart from the odd sneaky minute at work, like this today).

In other news, Chig also has a new car - a 2001 Nissan Almera. This is a substantial improvement on the 1989 Ford Escort which gave up the ghost after a not very strenuous weekend in Derbyshire in April. Air conditioning! Pollen filter! Automatic windows! Central locking! Curry hook! Yes, Chig has been dragged into the new motoring millennium. It was the curry hook which sold it to me. It's a hook (obviously) in the passenger side footwell, on which you can hang your bag of balti on a Friday night to avoid korma trauma in the car with curry spillage. Whoever invented it is a genius - and probably single - and deserves a knighthood. Except they're probably Japanese,so they can't have one.
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Damn those pesky housemates. Despite Ahmed's best efforts to screw it up, they've gone and passed the test, just to make me look stupid. I thought seriously about deleting yesterday's posting, just to save face, but what the heck! The irony here is that if Ahmed's selfishness and laziness HAD made them fail, as it looked like they were going to, he would now have five people in his debt and thanking him for saving them from eviction. Oh, it's so clever of BB - I love it. That aside though, Ahmed is being a complete and utter arsehole, isn't he? I'm not a violent person, but I really think I would have hit him by now. Him and Nadia are the two most annoying people left in the house (but not as annoying as sealboy Marco, obviously). They just don't LISTEN, and that, more than anything else, would drive me round the bend. I find I am getting far too involved while watching BB this year. I was getting really agitated watching Ahmed and Nadia tonight; they were both riling me enough to shout at the TV. But that's why this BB has been so compelling - the friction between so many opinionated people (plus Stuart, who has no opinions at all, on anything).

The most telling comment from Ahmed in the last two days was surely when he said that he didn't have to do what he was told, because, "This is my house too." No it's not, you idiot - it's Channel 4's house, and they can do what they like with you. He has completely lost sight of the fact that he's taking part in an entertainment/gameshow and now thinks he has a right to be there. Just walk out, you silly man, if you don't like it. Fingers crossed that the public makes that decision for him this week, and God help Davina when she tries to ask him why he is so belligerent. "Do you think, Ahmed, that you may have been more popular if you'd listened to other people's opinions?" "Why you asking me that? It's not fair. You picking on me Davina. I do not have to answer you. I have my own opinions and I not changing my mind. You are only a woman. Shall we have sex now?" Yeuch.
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Ha, ha, ha! To think, he was thrilled to be picked as one of the sergeants this week, but Michelle's choice of him has sealed his fate. Whatever you think of this year's Big Brother housemates, it's clear they are absolutely useless at working together and following instructions. Michelle and Jason will surely face the public vote due to the ineptitude of the rest of the team - a stroke of genius from Big Brother. And there's not a chance Jason will survive. Michelle's just too popular and he's turned into Mr Moody (after being one of my initial favourite two). Watch his face on Friday when Davina (or, more likely, some loudmouth knob in the crowd) tells him about Nadia. I can't wait.

Date for your diary: Friday 30th July. Chig will be LIVE at the Big Brother house, for the penultimate Friday eviction. In the week before, I'll be after your advice for my banner. I need your creative thoughts, but we'll have to wait and see who's up for eviction that week, so please come back.

Other news: the new PC is ordered, at last! Normal service may resume here sometime soon. Ish.
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...and it's absolutely pouring down. Oh dear. We've been here before. Twice. And it wasn't pretty.
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Again! A free ticket has come my way - again! (See this time last year.) Hurrah! This time, camping in the backstage area. That's where any vaguely famous people who aren't being flown in and out by helicopter might actually be staying. (Er, that's John Peel and Jo Whiley then...) Double hurrah!!

But first - tomorrow - Leicester Pride, rushing back to Brum for midnight for the PA at the Nightingale by the magnificent Toyah! (Note to young people: that's who Toyah Battersby in Corrie is named after - she was a singer in the olden days (AKA the 1980s).)
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It's a sunny Saturday lunchtime, so what better time to sit indoors in one's dressing gown, watching Corrie, writing a rambling entry on here because I haven't done so for ages?

Life has been absolute hell for the last ten days or so. No, let me correct that. WORK has been absolute hell. Other aspects have been great. I don't want to be at work any more. The realisation has dawned that some of the people I work with are absolute shits and I don't want to speak to them. There's a story behind this which I shall explain in full when I leave.

I'm supposed to be purchasing both a new PC (which is almost happening now) and a new car (as my car died a month ago, leaving me compelled to discover the joys of the Midland Metro and getting up at 5.20am when I'm on early shift). I have also been hooked on both Hell's Kitchen and Big Brother, which, last night and last Friday night, gave us two of the best reasons for never, ever going out on Friday nights again. Kitten's interview showed why Davina is a true TV goddess, asking ALL the questions we wanted her to ask. Last night's revelation of the bedsit to dimbo Emma and chicken-fancier Michelle was pure TV delight. I taped it and will actually watch it again - it was that good.

Today at last, the excitement of Euro 2004 starts. I've organised the work sweepstake and drawn Sweden, which is ideal as I've been in text and phone contact since Turkey with a very nice Swedish man who I met there (on my last night!) I will be missing the opening ceremony today though, as I have a date. Yes, on a Saturday afternoon. Best go and scrub up...
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The bassist of Chig's favourite band in the whole wide world is dead. This, below, appeared on the official website of BrainStorm (Prata Vetra) yesterday. My sincerest condolences to lead singer Reynars (host of Eurovision last year and 'My Star' of Eurovision 2000) and the rest of the band.

"We refused to believe it till the last moment but now it’s approved. Our closest friend and the bass player of BrainStorm Gundars Mausevics (Mumins) tragically passed away in a car accident. Our deepest compassion to relatives, friends and supporters of the band. All the closest events with Brainstorm’s participation are cancelled.

The farewell of BrainStorm’s bass player Muminsh (Gundars Mausevics) will be on 28th of May, 4.00 p.m. at Balozu graveyard in Jelgava. There will be specially organized bus to Jelgava at 3.00 p.m. leaving from Akademijas squere Nr. 1 in Riga."
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17.28 I am in the business lounge at Istanbul airport. I was originally scheduled to fly from here to Frankfurt at 13.55. but I have been bumped onto the next flight, due to ovebooking. Lufthansa tried to soften the blow with 300 Euros compensation, which I eagerly went for, but it turns out to be vouchers for Lufthansa flights, which I probably won;t use, so if you want to buy them off me...

I can;t write any more now. This is a metal keyboard with a rollerball and click button. It;s taking me ages.

It has been a fantastic ten days in Istanbul, right up to the final night last night (Sunday). Why do you always meet the most interesting people on the last night of your holiday....

And as I fly out of Turkey, Tony Blair arrives (in Ankara, not here). Must be some sort of special day in Turkish airports for people born on 6th May.) Meet here again soon.
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Right then, it's 19.42 here in Istanbul. I have to meet the man who is buying my spare ticket in 18 minutes time, so it's prediction time. Although I felt pretty smug at getting 8 out of 10 qualifiers on Wednesday, I must warn you that past form is no indicator of future success. When it comes to predicting the Eurovision winner, Chig's last two efforts have been dismal failures;

2003: Latvia - Hello From Mars - F.L.Y. (Finished 24th, with just 5 points from Estonia.)
2002: Belgium - Sisters - Sergio & The Ladies (13th, with 33 points)

This year, I'm sure my predicted winner will do a lot better, and may actually win the damn thing. I therefore predict that the smiling face we'll be seeing at 1am Turkish time is that of Zeljko:
1st Serbia & Montenegro
2nd Cyprus
3rd Ukraine
4th Sweden
5th Malta

Last: Romania

UK's position: 15th-20th

I have actually placed bets on Serbia to win, Cyprus and Ukraine to be in top 4, Romania last and UK 17th-20th (as Paddy Power's categories didn't quite coincide with my prediction. We'll see...

Good luck James Fox. It'll be a competent performance, even if we don't get many points for it.

Good luck Lisa Andreas, you CAN win, and I'd rather go to Nikosia than Belgrade, to be honest.

Everyone else, enjoy it! 19.57 and I'm off!
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Easy, because Chig will be wearing another copy of THIS t-shirt, as modelled by Foxy James himself, when I gave it to him at the press conference. Apparently, a picture very similar to this appeared on the official website, but I can't find it. If you do, could you tell me the link? Ta. I have one t-shirt for myself and one for a friend too, so if there's a camera anywhere near us, you shouldn't miss us!

I had these t-shirts made last week, back in Birmingham. Please note that they are in Turkish and Welsh colours. Oh, it's not just thrown together on World Of Chig you know! (Although you could be forgiven for thinking so most of the time.)

I will be in a group of four. As you look at the stage, we are on the left, on the raised seating, near the back of the hall. Or, as the performers see it, in the far right corner, on the right hand side, not the back. I'll be with two London skinhead friends, who I hope will have the Union flags, and a Norwegian guy who I haven't met yet, but who bought my ticket this week off the interwebnetthingy. He may, I suspect, have a Norwegian flag


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Good to read an article about Eurovision on gay.com, but there are two errors I should point out:
1) Jonsi did NOT ridicule Deen. That's just nonsense. He sang his song, accurately, word-perfect, that's all.
2) UK people can't vote for James Fox anyway, so there's no dilemma over patriotism.

There's something on Virgin.net too, but I don't have time to read it!
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My Mum's tips for tonight (after forcing her to listen to the album I left her!)

'It's tough. Hope it's not Turkey again! I like Bosnia [Chig's note; Go, disco mother! This is a shock!], Belgium, Denmark [Er, hello! He went out on Wednesday!], UK! Greece, Sweden.
Outsiders: Cyprus, Ireland, Iceland, Malta, Netherlands, Russia, Slovenia (someone's not paying attention here!) and Ukraine.

Mike's prediction:
1 Ukraine
2 Sweden
3 Cyprus

Mike's bottom 3:
Poland
Austria
Ireland

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Ah yes, talking of Rod Stewart, that title reminds me that I didn't post my 'suggested listening' for Istanbul, so here goes

'Istanbul, Constantinople' The Four Lads / They Might Be Giants, et al.
'Young Turks' Rod Stewart
'She Took My Soul In Istanbul' Marc Almond
'My Istanbul' Mizan (Came last in this year's Austrian preselection, with a measly 1 per cent of the televote!)
'Two Hearts Beat As One' U2. (Symbolises the European and Asian parts of this city. 'I don't know which side I'm on' can be very true here, especially if you're ferried around to parties on a boat, as we were on Sunday!)
Anything on EastWest records.

Any more suggestions?

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Merhaba! Forgot to tell you we all had a day off yesterday, so there was no need to come anywhere near the venue (it takes me 50 mins from my hotel, so it's not something I'd do casually.

I spent a lovely, relaxing day, being a tourist at the Sultanahmet (Blue) Mosque, eating and drinking outdoors and meeting up with friends. In the evening, we went to Belgium's party and then a combined one from Ukraine with Serbia and Montenegro. We were treated to the five song set that makes up the whole Wild Dances routine. The energy of Ruslana and her dancers is unbelievable.

Gossip here today on two main issues:

Firstly the above mentioned Ukraine is 'leaked' as the runaway winner from the semi-final on esctoday.com
If the figures are right, and they could be made up, I warn you, there was no competition; Ruslana must have received 12s, 10s and 8s from nearly every country.

Secondly, there has been an official revision to the scores from the EBU. There were two unforgivable cock-ups in the compilation of votes, which was all done centrally this year, and I imagine head will roll at Digame, the German-based voting partner who were supposed to run it.

Monaco's televote didn't work, so the system allocated votes at random! Croatia gave points to themselves, so the figures had to be revised. They are saying it doesn't alter the ten who got through. They would, wouldn't they? However, it means Israel now climb to 11th, above Estonia but on the same points. Slovenia slump to second last, with only five points. We're hearing suggestions that Turkish TV went to the ad break at the wrong time and only showed a fraction of Slovenia's song. To be continued...

How was Paddy O'Connell on BBC3? Feedback I'm getting here is all negative. Did he really talk over lots of intros, including the beautiful, long Serbian one? That's a disgrace, if it's true.

Right then, it's 14.40. Twenty minutes until the start of the first dress'll see if the UK's song just gets forgotten as the Cypriot song follows it now. Still, nice to see two UK songs and singers together in the final. We now have a battle between England and Wales. Must go and take my seat...
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Phew! Got those reviews posted just in time. Now it's time to predict who will get through from the semi, so......drum rolls.... off the top of my head, the lucky ten will be, roughly in this order:

Cyprus
Serbia and Montenegro
Malta
Greece
Ukraine
Albania
Slovenia
Bosnia and Herzegovina
Croatia
Belarus

If I had my way, it would be (in order):
Belarus
Ukraine
Cyprus
Serbia and Montenegro
Bosnia and Herzegovina
Albania
Slovenia
Malta
Finland
Greece

I will be waving the flags of Belarus (for musical excellence and to support a newcomer) and for Bosnia and Herzegovina (in support of poofery)

Enjoy the show! Going to get my seat now. I am accompanying a Scots friend in a kilt.
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Better late that never, eh kids? It's 20.05 as I sit here in the Media Tent, less than two hours before the Eurovision semi-final starts, and I've just realised I haven't published my reviews of the songs for tonight. I've been carrying the disc around for ages, so here goes. Bear in mind that this was written ages ago, before any rehearsals.

“Is it May already? Settle down me hearties, as….” Oh bugger, I forgot, Wogan isn’t doing this bit, is he? Oh well, snuggle up with a wee dram or a cup of cocoa with cuddly Paddy O’Connell on BBC 3, as 33 countries prepare to broadcast the first ever Eurovision semi-final. 33 countries, because France, Russia and Poland (three of the largest populations) can’t be bothered. But, I hear you cry, surely it’s in the rules that you have to show the semi? Why yes, it is, but these three won’t be watching, so they’re not allowed to vote tonight either. When pressed for an explanation, a French TV spokesperson said, “Nous sommes La France. Nous pouvons faire ce que nous veulent. Vous avez un probleme?” He then shrugged his shoulders, muttered something about ‘les rosbifs’, adjusted his beret and rode off on his bicyclette, slinging his string of onions over his stripey shirt as he disappeared up the Champs Elysée. Possibly.

SF01 – Finland – Takes 2 To Tango – Jari Sillanpa:a:
Queen alert! Well honestly, it’s a chubby bloke dancing around with angel wings on his back, throwing his arms up in the air, screaming ‘Hallelujah!’ Jump to your own conclusions. Get ready to fling your arms in the air as you proclaim ‘Hallelujah!’ in a camp, yet biblical way. Jari is clearly not the butchest man in this year’s competition, but he's not the campest either. He gives it all he’s got, complete with angel wings taped to his back in his national final performance. Shame he looks like Chris Moyles, but you can’t have everything. Will win the vote in gay pubs across the land, if it gets through the semi, which it should, especially with this favourable draw. The song is explicitly gay, as it talks about angels and devils caressing each other and holding each other tight. As all angels are male, this is clearly alluding to some homo orgy.

SF02 – Belarus – My Galileo - Alexandra & Konstantin
An absolutely, charmingly bonkers song from one of this year’s three debut countries. It’s worth pointing out that they are singing in English, because you honestly wouldn’t know. Sixth form poetry put through a mincer produces such astounding lines as,
“I’m not a stay-at-home and heady, is the quest and venture mode”. Oh yes!
“Circles grow,
But you,
You’re the pier,
Centre in my life,
My Galileo,
I rotate to you,
I’m here.”

I’m really looking forward to seeing these two in the flesh, and if Alexandra is not an even more demented Belarussian version of Lene Lovich, I’ll be very disappointed.

SF03 – Switzerland – Celebrate! - Piere Esteriore and the Music Stars
I hate this with a passion. But it's so catchy, like a bloody Tweenies song, that I could see this cutting through the pack and winning the whole damn thing. Then I would feel sick.

SF04 – Latvia - Fomins and Kleins
Thought this sounded quite good until I saw them and they put me off. Standard rock song sung by a Rod Stewart type blokey. The fact that it's in Latvian (although they have released versions in severeal languages, including Belarussian, but not English), will mean this fails to qualify for Saturday.

SF05 – Israel - David D'Or
One of the most remarkable voices ever to come from the mouth of a man; incredibly high-pitched. It's a very Radio 2 type song. I just can't make up my mind about this one.

SF06 – Andorra
Jolly pop with too many words. Welcome to the party. Next!

SF07 – Portugal – Foi Magia (It Was Magic) – Sofia
Oooh, a promising intro! Those string stabs sound like something off ABC’s Lexicon Of Love album. Could we be in for a Trevor Horn-like three minutes of perfect pop? (More of him later.) Sadly, no. It’s downhill from then on as Portugal succeeds once again in entering a song that only appeals to Portuguese speakers. See you in next year’s semi! I didn’t even need to mention Portugal’s support for the war in Iraq. The song has scuppered their chances already. The real tragedy is that Portugal had a really good song in their final, by a real spunky hunk called Goncalo, but the cloth-eared muppets didn’t vote for it.

SF08 – Malta – On Again…Off Again – Julie & Ludwig
No, not Herr Beethoven, but this song does indeed have classical pretensions. Basically, it’s a very simple pop song by her, with him singing in an opera stylee over the top. Then, what do you know, SHE does a Charlotte Churchy bit while he’s singing. Very versatile, very catchy, very gimmicky.

She’s possibly trying to tell him when it’s safe for them to shag, or is it about condoms? Who knows? Just the right side of mad. Will gather votes from across Europe and across the generations, and will, once again, come agonisingly close to giving Malta their first victory.

SF09 – Monaco – Prenez Soin de Notre Planete (Take Care Of Our Planet) – Maryon?
Monaco take a self-imposed break from Eurovision for 25 years and then come back with this, which could have been from around the time they left. It’s nice, it’s poppy, it’s dancey. It’s forgotten by the time the next song comes on. There won’t be a battle of the French songs, as this is unlikely to join France, who are already in the final.

SF10 – Greece – Shake It – Sakis Rouvas
Given half a chance, I’d do more than shake it. Fit as a butcher’s dog that does sit-ups. Who cares about the song? Greece originally intended to send the winner of their version of Fame Idol For A Night Knocks, or whatever it’s called, but plans were hastily dropped when the series was won by a fat bloke called Apostolos. ‘You can’t do disco songs’, cried the bigwigs, ‘so you can be a backing singer for this fit bloke who we’re bringing in to replace you instead’. Astoundingly, he has accepted this. Has he no pride? Sakis likes showing off his abs and his armpits, which is absolutely fine in my book. Carry on. Rumours abounded that Trevor Horn had composed three songs for Greece to choose from this year. This is clearly not one of them.
Rhymes ‘fire’ with ‘desire’? Yes!
“I would trade my life, for a night with you, driven by desire,
Make that move on me, it’s time for you to see, that my world’s on fire.”
Key change? NO! But there’s a moment when you think one’s coming. Opportunity wasted.

SF11 – Ukraine – Wild Dances – RuslanaShouting! Echoes of Rasputin! A woman who looks like a cross between Posh Spice and Xena the Warrior Princess! All combined to produce a brilliantly unusual song which I absolutely love.

SF12 – Lithaunia – What's Happened To Our Love?
What's happened to a decent song, more like? Absolute drivel, even with its Spansih touches. We have enough of them this year, thank you very much. No way this is qualifying.

SF13 – Albania – The Image Of You (previously called Imazhi Yt (Your reflection)) – Anjeza Shahini
“You are the band” or “You are the phlegm in my pea soup”. Like Belarus, the charm of this song is in its sheer madness. It is all things to all people. Starts off slow. Stops. Turns into a great disco song. Has rock guitar in the middle eight. Goes wild at the end. Perfect, except that it’s five minutes long. They’re new to this whole thing, the Albanians. They clearly didn’t read the EBU rulebook before their national final. All will depend on how they edit it down to three minutes, but in its epic version, I think this is wonderful. My second favourite.

SF14 – Cyprus – Stronger Every Minute – Lisa Andreas
You think she's launcing into boyzone's 'No Matter What' at the start, and then the song becomes either the toilet break or a stunner, depending on your point of view. If she can do this live (and she's only 16, and from Kent), this could do really well.

SF15 – Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia – Life Is A Book - Tose
Red rubber vest? Good lord. Not what we expect from FYRoM, but that's what he's wearing in the video. THis is really repetive and makes its point in the first minute, before just retreading the same ground. No doubt they will spoil his chances by NOT having him wear a red rubber outfit in Istanbul.

SF16 – Slovenia – Stay Forever - Platin
Gimmick – getting married the day after the semi-final, with Sertab Erener as their maid of honour. I've really grown to like this since I dismissed it as 'bland' when they won their national final. We didn't even notice at the time that Simon slipped an engagement ring on Diana's finger while they sang their reprise. Now I know they mean it, the song seems much more meaningful.

SF17 – Estonia – Tii – Neiokoso
Follow me, we’re sorry.
Better get moist.
Sorry Malta.
Wear a big doily, be horribly oily
Shut up your boys’ schools.

Just some of the phrases that these Spice Girls meet Hiawatha types seem to be singing. That's what happens when you decide to sing a song in a South-eastern Estonian dialect that not even the majority of Estonians can understand. Wonderfully wacky, and the video is really good, but I can't see this getting past the semi.

SF18 – Croatia – You Are The Only One (previously 'Dajes Mi krila' = 'You Give Me Wings') – Ivan Mikulic
The only possible winner from the Croatian final, and it’s another classy ballad; a genre that’s served them well. A really well-constructed song, from a really good singer. It starts slowly but surely and gets to the rousing chorus really quickly (like the UK’s song does too) which I always think is an advantage. (Compare and contrast with Ukraine.) Okay, so he looks like he might be Jimmy Nail’s son, who works in insurance, but looks aren’t everything.

SF19 – Denmark – Shame On You – Tomas Thordarson
Queen alert! This is a bona fide one. Tomas is married to his male partner. with an adopted child, but rumour has it that the video for this was toned down to make it a little more hetero. Just when you thought the Danes were all liberated and stuff. The song, about infidelity, is ‘Denmark goes Spanish’ and is a good attempt, but the Spanish do it so much better themselves. It is very catchy though, and I’d love to see this make it through to Saturday night. I think it will.
Rhymes ‘fire’ with ‘desire’? Yes. “You’re my fire, you’re my desire, shame on you.” Several times.
Key change? Yes, with added whoa!
(UPDATE: Since seeing the rehearsals, I don't think this will get through. They've taken all the life out of it.)

SF20 – Serbia & Montenegro – Lane Moje ('My Lamb' or 'My Sweetheart' – Zeljko and the Ad Hoc Orchestra
Pure class. One of the longest intros in the contest, played on a long pipe by a shepherd who looks like Jesus, eventually gives way to the vocal. Zeljko has a voice like warm, melted chocolate, and despite the fact that this type of Balkan folky music sounds unusual to Western ears, I believe this will have many countries under its spell. A dead cert to qualify from the semi, and a strong contender to win the whole thing, perhaps only to be scuppered by the reluctance of ex-warring neighbours to forgive Serbia enough to vote for them. This is the first appearance for the continuing rump of Yugoslavia under its new name. It was interesting that in the national final for S&M (as we prefer to call it), they had a whole bunch of contemporary pop songs, and this, performed by people dressed in hessian sacks, standing out like a sore thumb. When it was chosen, I thought ‘what kind of impression is this going to give to the rest of Europe?’, but you can’t argue with the quality of music like this. My other nagging doubt was that perhaps it takes a while to grow on people, and won’t get votes on first hearing, but that doubt has been put to bed by showing the video to my sister, who used words like ‘impressive’ and fell in love with his voice. If Europe rejects pop and goes for the big ethnic number this year, this will do it. Not sure I fancy going to Belgrade though. Talking of ex-warring neighbours....

SF21 – Bosnia & Herzegovina – In The Disco – Deen
We move from moody folk music to frivolous disco fluff. Queen alert! In his national final, Deen looked like a hairdresser from the 1980s, with a blond flicky fringe and a strange taste in trousers. Donna Summer would be turning in her grave over this song, but sadly she’s still not dead. It only avoids charges of plagiarism by sounding like so many different songs all at once, two of them by Ms. God-botherer herself. The rhythm track is ‘strongly influenced by’ ‘I Feel Love’ and the main riff is ‘Hot Stuff’. And yet, for all that, it is strangely fab in a bastardised and stolen kinda way, and the video is great.

SF22 – Netherlands – Without You – Re-Union
Sadly, not the Nilsson classic (or Mariah Carey dog-whistling tune). In fact, not a classic at all. Far from it. The Netherlands really let us down this year, with a national final that was devoid of anything good. There was one song that was exceptionally bad too, namely ‘Mississippi Miss’; a cross between Rednex and Steps that made both of them look sophisticated. I feared the worst, but instead the Dutch went for this sleep-inducer. Re-Union is a male duo with an acoustic guitar and a fair amount of yodelling. One of them looks a bit like Noel Gallagher, the other one is probably Steve McManaman’s younger brother. I can’t stand the song, but it does have its fans.
Rhymes ‘fire’ with ‘desire’? Yes.
Key change? Not really. Will yodelling do instead?
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This year's Turkeys, Athena, at the Turkish delegation's party on Sunday night. They didn't play, but the DJ played 'For Real' about 6 or 7 times, including twice in succession at one point. This song makes Turkish people very excited.
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Ireland's dirge for Saturday will now be sung by the Irish 5-a-side football team.
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Lots of normally sane people think that Max from Germany will win on Saturday. I publish the picture above to warn you. Please don't let it happen.
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Austria's boyband, Tie-Break, perform to type by bumming each other on the table in their second press conference, which they conducted wearing their hotel towels. Some excuse about making the Austrian flag, but it looks more like Latvia's to me. Someone should tell them that the Austrian flag is red, not purple.
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No, I haven't. Just in case you were going to ask. Not with these two anyway. However, it was very nice to wake up this morning in the flat of a genuine Istanbulu and admire the view. You could also see quite a long way from his balcony.
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Jonsi from Iceland sings 'Sandy' from Grease (not Xandee from Belgium) at his first press conference, in Icelandic. He played Danny Zuko in the Icelandic version of the musical. He is also as fit as a butcher's dog, with features that redefine the word 'chiselled'. Apparently, his second rehearsal (for Saturday) was a blinder.
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You must, must, must tape tonight's semi-final, even if you're planning to buy the DVD of this year's Eurovision double bill. (The first ever Eurovision DVD is released on 7 June in Turkey - I'm guessing it's the same all over Europe.)

There is, however, one part of tonight's show that won't be on the DVD. The title explains itself:

ABBA - Our last ever video.

We were priviledged to see the world premiere of this 5 minute film last night in the press centre, a few hours before it was shown to the public in the second dress rehearsal. Svante Stockselius, the EBU's Eurovision big cheese, said that they had approached ABBA to get together for this year's 30th anniversary of Waterloo's win, but they had said no. However, the band themselves mentioned that they had an idea for a project. A Swedish director then took charge, with some assistance from all four ABBA members, and an appearance from Rik Mayall! I won't say any more, because it would spoil the surprise, but tape it when it is shown as part of tonight's show, because you will want to play the dialogue a few times. It's hilarious, it's cute, and it draws a nice, neat line under ABBA's career. Svante, who just happens to be Swedish too, was clearly quite close to tears over the film itself and the reaction in the Press Centre. We loved it, and so will you.
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So much to discuss! The third and last dress rehearsal is going on right now. We watched the first on in the hall yesterday, didn't see last night's second one at all, and I'm watching this third one on the monitors to see who comes across best on the TV.

Reports from friends last night were praising Cyprus again. I've just watched Lisa on the TV and once again it sent shivers through me. To my friends in the UK who are reading this, you have the chance tonight, for the first time ever, to vote a British singer and a British song (for that's what Cyprus really is) into Saturday's final. On Saturday, we may have a British winner after all, and I feel sure that the Kentish Sparrow (as I've decided to dub Lisa Andreas) will finish quite a bit higher than the boy from Bargoed.
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Chig tries to gatecrash the wedding of the year, as Slovenia's Diana and Simon prepare to get married on a boat on Thursday.
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The superbly talented Jonatan Cerrada with his grandmother Marie Myriam, France's last winner, from 1977.
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Cyprus and Serbia & Montenegro will be the two songs that stroll casually into the final on Saturday, if the reaction of us and the crowd is anything to go by. I always thought Lisa Andreas would do well IF she could cut the mustard live, and my God she can. Absolutely captivating, it sent a shiver right through me. I can see this winning on Saturday too.

Of the others, Greece should get through. It's a great show, but a highly over-rated song. In the hall, the vocal mix wasn't right, so we could hear more backing singers than Sakis on some lines. Consequently, I think we were hearing the harmonies rather than the tune and it sounded wrong, but I don't think it was his fault and that kind of thing can always sound better on TV.

We were amused at the end when they revealed a phoney list of ten countries who qualified for Saturday night. They read out the name 'Portugal' and I can assure you that you won't be hearing the announcers saying that word at the end. In fact, you'll be seeing Portugal at the very bottom of the scoresheet. They have managed the impossible. They've taken the worst song of the 36, and they've made it appear even worse on stage. Poor old Sofia has been down to her local carpet warehouse and snapped up a few offcuts of a revolting cerise floor covering. Then someone has made a dress out of it and slung the offcuts in a heap over one shoulder. It's not so much a crime against fashion, but a crime against humanity. I hear she's really nice as well, and speaks good English. Such a shame.

Ruslana for the Ukraine is a spectacular performance, and will get through to Saturday, where she's worth an each way bet. Our worry is that the song didn't come thorough clearly enough. But hey, this is the Eurovision Performance Contest now, isn't it?
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