As promised. Well done to the Schlagerboys for getting the two that no one else could get, and to Diamond Geezer, Mike and Simon, who were all first to answer one of the others correctly.

Answers in bold.

Q1) Razorlight had a UK number one single a couple of weeks ago with 'America'. Can you list all of the other UK chart-toppers which have just the name of a sovereign country as their title? (No other words in the title, and no nationalities either, just a country name.)

The only answer to this is 'Barbados' by Typically Tropical. No other country name on its own has been a UK number one apart from Barbados and now America. (Both of them managed only one week at the top.)

Q2) Which 1980s Top 5 hit song was very nearly called 'It's America', but was changed by the act who sang it into something meaningless, because they thought it might cause offence?

It was 'It's A Miracle' by Culture Club, which was written as 'It's America' and is clearly about America, but changed when they got cold feet about releasing it there. It all makes sense if you sing 'it's America', but makes no sense at all in its recorded version.

Q3) Surprisingly, the word 'America' had never featured in the title of a chart-topping song before Razorlight, but who came closest, with the word 'American'? (Some of them have to be easy, to compensate for the tricky ones!)

It was the Malawian babysnatcher herself, Madonna, with American Pie in 2000.

Q4) Scissor Sisters are just two days away from possibly joining a very exclusive chart club. What will they have to do in Sunday's singles chart to join Dickie Valentine, Tommy Edwards, Michael Jackson and Eminem (and no others)?

They didn't do it. They fell from 4 to 10 instead, but if Scissor Sisters had fallen just one place to 5, it would have been only the fifth single in chart history to go 1,2,3,4,5 in consecutive weeks.

Q5) How many gay men are there in this photo? (See photo of Chig and Jemini below.)

The answer is two, much to my surprise. My gaydar clearly failed spectacularly in 2003. Despite meeting Chris and Gemma at A Song For Europe, where the photo below was taken, and being in Riga for the whole of Eurovision week, including attending Jemini's rehearsal's and media conferences, I had no idea until I read Tim Moore's Nul Points book earlier this month, which makes the point quite clearly, twice.
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Happy Hallowe'en! I found this picture several months ago, on Flickr (I think), and saved it to use today:



However, last night, much to my surprise, that very photo was on Have I Got News For You? So, we'll go with the other one I'd been saving instead:



Last night, I discovered my neighbours outside, carving holes in a pumpkin that was so enormous, I thought it was plastic. It turns out that it's real!



Other neighbours have grown this monster on their allotment, and it will take pride of place at our avenue's Hallowe'en party this evening. Hallowe'en parties, it vampires transpires, are like buses. I haven't been to one for years, and tonight I'm invited to two. The other one is indoors; it's an expansion party for the Loft Lounge, a restaurant and bar which only opened in late May, but which has already become so busy that they've knocked through and are opening up the expanded room tonight. Much as I love my neighbours, it'll be warmer indoors. I still can't quite believe how big this pumpkin is though. The insides have been scraped out and will be feeding our avenue for most of November. Have you ever seen anything like it?


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Five questions. The first three are related. Answer as many as you like...

Q1) Razorlight had a UK number one single a couple of weeks ago with 'America'. Can you list all of the other UK chart-toppers which have just the name of a sovereign country as their title? (No other words in the title, and no nationalities either, just a country name.)

Q2) Which 1980s Top 5 hit song was very nearly called 'It's America', but was changed by the act who sang it into something meaningless, because they thought it might cause offence?

Q3) Surprisingly, the word 'America' had never featured in the title of a chart-topping song before Razorlight, but who came closest, with the word 'American'? (Some of them have to be easy, to compensate for the tricky ones!)

Q4) Scissor Sisters are just two days away from possibly joining a very exclusive chart club. What will they have to do in Sunday's singles chart to join Dickie Valentine, Tommy Edwards, Michael Jackson and Eminem (and no others)?

Q5) How many gay men are there in this photo?



Answers on Tuesday (ish) unless they're guessed correctly before then. Have a good weekend. I'm off to start applying my monster make-up for tonight. (Insert your own comments about not needing to...)


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There's a distinct possibility that I may leave the house this evening, to go to a gig. Guess who I'll be going to see? Here's a clue:


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Paul O'Grady's on holiday this week, leaving his show in the hands of a different guest presenter each day. Today it's - swoon! - Jesse Metcalfe. He's brought the girlfriend along (ie. he's interviewing Girls Aloud). Off to watch it now. I may have to tape this. Here are two pictures of Jesse, just because we can.


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This thyroxine medication has left my body clock completely FUBAR, which explains why I read the last four chapters of this book in the early hours today, finishing it at 06:25 this morning. It's quite possibly the most entertaining book I've ever read and I can't recommend it highly enough. If you have the slightest interest in Eurovision, put it on your Christmas list now. The book also works as a travelogue and an insight into the journalistic process itself. Tim Moore doesn't quite get to meet ALL of the nul pointers that he set out to meet, but he details their stories anyway, along with the frustrations of trying to contact has-been popstars up to 27 years after their heroic Eurovision failures. It's a very entertaining read, and chock full of stuff I didn't know. Superb.


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Blimey! Didn't see that one coming. My Chemical Romance, with a rise of Captain Sensible-esque* proportions, are number one. Their single 'Welcome To The Black Parade' has jumped from last week's downloads-only entry position of #23 to nudge Razorlight off the top after only one week (by a small margin). My Chemical Romance have never been higher than #19 before. In fact, they've had four other hit singles, all last year, which all peaked within the narrow range of 19 to 28, on a downward slide (19, 20, 27, 28), so to call this an improvement would be a substantial understatement. I'm loving the way the new chart rules have made the singles chart unpredictable and exciting again. All we need now is for a decent presenter on the Radio 1 chart show.

There's a nice little trivia connection here too. Within a month of Helena Paparizou winning Eurovision last year, My Chemical Romance had a #20 hit here with 'Helena', which was the closest we got to seeing Helena in the UK chart, as her winning song wasn't released here. Helena's song was 'My Number One' and now MCR have had their own. Sweet.

I had some other chart trivia rattling round my head after Razorlight made number one seven days ago, but retirement to my sick bed has put it on hold. I'd better write it up soon before I forget...

*Captain Sensible jumped from #33 to #1 with Happy Talk in 1982. It's still the biggest leap to the top from within the chart, if you ignore import versions charting lower down before a domestic release enters at #1 (DJ Otzi and Christina Aguilera) and 'leaked' sales in the week before official release (Westlife - Mandy, from #200 to #1).
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In the week's most unexpected showbiz news, it seems Lord Of The Dance Michael Flatley has got married. To a woman. Who knew?

Renate Blauel, Liza Minnelli and Majella McLennan are currently unavailable for comment.


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The bets are placed...

Earlier this week, I placed a bet on the Macdonald Brothers to win the whole series. Today, I've also bet on Robert to be the first act eliminated in tonight's Motown-themed show. (Dionne is the bookies' red hot favourite for the boot, but the odds are so short that it's not worth a punt.)

Who do you think will win this series?
Who will be eliminated tonight?

Also, who's your favourite? My faves in each category are up there on the left. I only realised after sorting out the pictures that all three of them have surnames beginning with Mac or Mc. Strange coincidence.


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Today = 13/10/2006.

1+3+1+0+2+0+0+6 = 13.

The last time the digits of a Friday 13th added up to 13 was apparently 13/01/1520.

Fascinating, I'm sure you'll agree. (And with small error now corrected, thanks to Diamond Geezer.)


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"I told you I was ill."

It's Friday the 13th today, as I'd realised before heading off this morning to see my GP for the results of a blood test. The pharmacist pointed out the date as well, but the curse had already struck by then, and the phrase above, from Spike Milligan's gravestone, has been ringing around my head all day.

I don't normally write on here about my health issues, partly because (a) I don't have many, (b) they're personal and (c) I don't want to be some kind of whingeing Dot Cotton hypochondriac character. However, I'll make an exception now, because - cue the melodrama! - I've had a shock today and my life has changed forever. It may also help someone else if I share my story.

I've been ill, you see. I've had sinusitis for nearly four weeks now. I haven't had a cold, but the sinusitis has been painful at times and the worst thing of all has been the chronic fatigue. I saw my GP three days into it and was prescribed antibiotics (Amoxycillin) which I took for a week. They didn't work at all, so I asked for a second week's worth of tablets and finished them without them having any effect either. I saw the doctor again. She was understandably reluctant to give me any more antibiotics, so that stopped. We've all had sinusitis as part of a cold, but this feels quite unusual as there's no snot at all, but all the other feelings of having 'flu are present. I have no energy whatsoever and have been sleeping for hours on end, day and night. I had talked with my GP on the first visit about allergy tests, which she was going to do if the antibiotics didn't work, but on the second visit, last Tuesday, she decided to refer me to an ENT surgeon instead. I also had a blood sample taken. When I rang on Monday this week for the blood test results, I thought it was ominous when the receptionist asked me to come in and see the doctor. When it's okay, I'm pretty sure they just say the test didn't find anything; you don't have to waste the doctor's time by taking up an appointment.

In the meantime, due to a misguided sense of loyalty, and because we're short of staff, I had been going to work, but after the second doctor's appointent last week, the blood test itself was enough to send me home to bed, feeling weak, where I slept for the entire afternoon and took the next day off too, whch turned into one big sleep lasting the rest of the week. (The only way I managed to keep my date with Jason Donovan was to stay in bed until Saturday afternoon, get up late and conserve energy until I went out in the evening. I then told anyone who would listen how ill I felt and how I culdn't believe I was out. I'm not sure who believed me, but it was true. I really wasn't going to miss the opportunity to meet him, come hell or high water. That's how sad I am.)

Anyway, I did nothing on Sunday except brace myself for work on Monday. I made it in for my 7am start, still feeling half asleep after driving the ten miles to work, which wasn't particularly safe. I still wasn't breathing properly, so I took a break after three hours to get some fresh air. (We work in a dreadful office where none of the windows can be opened and we are subject to the whims of the aircon system, which are sometimes very random. I find it claustrophobic at the best of times.) I went outside and breathed in the 'fresh' carbon monoxide of the busy dual carriageway on which we work, then sat in the car and nearly dozed off, while reflecting on the fact that only our newest temp had even bothered to ask me how I was. My manager, the woman to whom he has temporarily delegated his managerial responsibilities and two other colleagues had said nothing, which really pissed me off. I sat in the car and was in between tears and nodding off when my manager knocked on the car window. No, actually, he opened the car door without asking and said 'Are you okay?'. 'No, not really.' In short, he said if I couldn't work, I should go home, and he was right, but it was better that he said it and not just me. At least I had gone in and made the effort, even though I felt like death warmed up. I came home at lunchtime, went to bed on Monday afternoon, and have hardly been upright since (oo-er), either in bed or on the settee, covered by a duvet. I keep nodding off, my sinuses are so swollen that I can hardly breathe or hear, and my vision is being affected by the blocked sinuses, so I can't spend much time at the PC as my eyes keep going blurry and I get headaches.

So, this morning, off to see the doctor after being off work since noon on Monday. The results of the blood test reveal something which hadn't crossed my mind at all (partly because, last week, the doctor had only mentioned being tested for anaemia). I have a thyroid deficiency. The moment she said it, it all made sense, as there's a history (indeed, a present) of thyroid problems in both sides of the family, including my Dad and sister. All the pieces have now slotted into place. The sinusitis, which I'm still enduring, is a separate matter, which has only endured because I'm so run down, and will still have to be tackled by an ENT specialist, but the reason I'm run down is a lack of thyroxine, which regulates the metabolism and can cause heart problems if left unchecked. The doctor agreed that this could also explain why I've put on a stone in weight in the last year, which conveniently absolves me, the lack of exercise and the consumption of too many biscuits.

So now I'm on 50MCG thyroxine tablets, starting today. Once the levels are settled, I'll probably be on them for the rest of my life, as the thyroid apparently doesn't recover. My Dad is on 125MCG, my sister on 150MCG, so there may be some way to go yet. My Dad was started off on 200MCG tablets a few years ago, which is much too high to start off with, and had his heart attack shortly afterwards. We think his GP nearly killed him by over-stimulating his thyroid, so I'm quite happy to start off on 50MCG, thank you very much. I've been signed off work for two more weeks. It felt good ringing in to tell them. Not only am I relieved that the doctor has found something wrong, but it vindicates everything I've been telling my manager about feeling tired at work. At last I know I'm not just being lazy, which I've sometimes felt, or going mad. The feelings of cold that I've also had over the last few days are yet another symptom of the hypothyroidism that I now know I have and it all makes sense, even the fact that I didn't go cycling as much this Summer as I did last year, as I often didn't feel I had the energy.

I'm not sure that the correct reaction to being told you have a potentially life-threatening condition is to feel relieved, but that's what I feel today, like the proverbial weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I still feel knackered (and writing this has taken ages), but now I can move on, get the levels of medication settled, learn to live with this...and enjoy two more weeks off work!

Here's my family tree (created on very high-tech genealogy software, as you can see), which shows the prevalence of thyroid and heart problems in my family. I didn't stand a chance of escaping it really, did I?



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...even if you do have to wait about twenty years. I know, yes I know, it's just a matter of time. These photos were taken in the early hours of this morning. You have no idea how happy I feel today.


So many people, smile on their faces...



Oh every day, in every way, I love you more...



With love to guide us, nothing can divide us...



Especially for you...



Readers, he was lovely. That's another thing ticked off from my list of things to do before I die.


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If you're watching tonight's BBC One episode of Spooks, see if you can spot the boo-boo near the end which, in the real world, would have given the game away and exposed the M15 agents. There are two spelling 'issues' when the gang intercept the ambassador's e-mail. Let me know if you spot them...

Some of us can't wait for Spooks, so we have to watch each episode a week ahead on BBC Three. Thankfully, that means we can watch Celebrity Wife Swap tonight, which clashes with Spooks. John McCririck living with Edwina Currie (who knows a thing or two about other women's husbands). TV gold, surely?


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The Nightingale has done it again! For the second year running, my local's representative has won the Mr Gay UK title (and the one before that was a Nightingale regular as well, but he represented a pub in Walsall). We sure know how to pick 'em! Friday's winner of the national final, Mark Carter, wasn't a big surprise, as he'd been the one with the most pre-publicity, and let's face it, we just can't resist a man in uniform, even if he does have a funny haircut. Mark is a police officer with West Yorkshire Police. His employers have been entirely supportive too. We've come a long way in the last few years. Well done Mark!



Two for the price of one: Mark Carter (with the sash) at Birmingham Pride back in May this year. Last year's Mr Gay UK, Richard Carr, is on the right, with the green trumpet.


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