World of Chig   

30.5.10
Song about lav wins Eurovision

...and I had to go to the lav immediately after Lena's reprise, such is the effect that her irritating little song had on me.

More on this later.

But first, let's address the big issue of tonight's Eurovision: no points at all from the UK to OUR OWN PEOPLE representing Cyprus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What the hell happened? Was this a failure of the Norton variety? Or is the UK public (and jury) just unwilling to play the same game as everybody else?

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29.5.10
Chig with attitude 2

Welcome to Eurovision final day! It's 11am here in Oslo and the sun is shining.

My second little Eurovision report for attitude magazine
went online yesterday, in which I've talked about the second semi-final and the UK entry tonight. Anyone can read the attitude reports, but if you're registered with them, you can also leave comments, so please feel free to do that.

Unless someone throws a cheap (or free) ticket in my direction this afternoon, I'll be watching night's final in the media tent next door to the arena, which I've never done before. I simply can't afford a ticket, so I've seen the show already by attending the first rehearsal for free yesterday. My certainty about Norway winning again has wavered only slightly. There was nothing at all wrong with Didrik's performance, it's just the uncertainty of the whole event. After Ukraine qualified on Thursday, we know anything can happen. (I was happy that I correctly predicted seven qualifiers, in a more difficult semi-final. Friends' scores ranged from six upwards, with just one Irishman in my friends' prediction competition getting nine. Sweden was the one he put in that didn't qualify.)

I've heard a staggering fifteen of tonight's songs described as the winner by fans and journalists here. That probably means it will be one of the ten that no one has mentioned (to me). It really is that wide open - the complete opposite of last year.

The show itself is slick and well-produced, the humour is good and the flash mob dance in the interval act is fascinating to watch. The crowd in the arena will participate in this by standing still with one arm in the air. You'll see what I mean. Enjoy the show!

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27.5.10
Who's qualifying tonight from semi-final 2?

With two and a half hours until Eurovision part two starts, I was just about to write that I'll be watching the semi-final in the media tent. I was in the hall for the third and final dress rehearsal this afternoon, where I took some photos and was quite happy to watch this one on the screens next door. However, all that has changed in the last few minutes as I've just been given a ticket by the nicest Danish man in the world, so Chigeralla will go to the ball after all.

Just time for some quick predictions then, from this more difficult to predict show.

Certain qualifiers:

Azerbaijan - even though it's over-rated and dull. There's no way this deserves to be favourite.

Armenia - my favourite of the uptempo songs in this one, but not presented as well as it could be. The presence of a stupid papier mache apricot stone on stage shouldn't stop it qualifying though.

And, er... that's it. Everything else is up for grabs, but I'll suggest this as the ten, roughly in this order of certainty:

Azerbaijan
Armenia
Turkey
Croatia
Georgia
Israel
Lithuania
Netherlands
Ireland
Cyprus

Which leaves these out in the cold:

Romania
Denmark
Sweden
Bulgaria
Ukraine
Slovenia
Switzerland

You can see from this that it might be touch and go for the Brits representing Cyprus and for Ireland's Niamh Kavanagh. Both of these deserve to go through and are lovely people, so please vote for Cyprus and Ireland.

Easier to call, I think, will be the UK televote. These won't necessarily be the points that the UK gives, as the televote will be modified by the UK jury's 50%, but I would expect our televote top four to look something like this:

1st Ireland
2nd Cyprus
3rd Lithuania
4th Turkey

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We are the winners, of Eurovision

Chig has won something! On the rather marvellous Boom-Bang-A-Blog, they had a competition to design Josh's outfit for Saturday. Armed with a printer, some scissors and glue, I knocked up a little something and have now won. Read it here, and watch the video. That may not be my real voice...

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Chig with attitude

I mentioned that I would be appearing in another place this year on the internet, and now it can be revealed. In a move as controversial as a footballer moving to Man United from Man City, I have jumped ship to the opposition! (Or was I pushed?)

My first Eurovision diary piece for the attitude magazine website is now available for your viewing pleasure, complete with my lovely photo of Josh Dubovie and Sarah Cawood. It was taken as we queued to go into a skiing simulator (and not a 'stimulator'. as one of our party called it). Enjoy.

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That sounds terribly disappointing to me.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

I've just checked the Radio 1 chart update page, eager to see where Josh Dubovie's Eurovision entry is in the midweeks, and it isn't in the top 40 at all. Perhaps we shouldn't be surprised, after Jade Ewen only made #27 last year, after weeks of publicity on Your Country Needs You, whereas Josh was on one atrocious hour-long programme two months ago - and I don't know if any radio stations, anywhere, are playing the single. Josh doesn't even exist on the hmv website, and the track is only listed on amazon as an album track from the Eurovision compilation, which seems to make the CD copy that the kindly BBC people gave me something of a rarity. iTunes has four versions of the track available, but that seems to be about the only place to buy it.

To miss the Top 40 completely would be a disaster, and unheard of in recent years for our Eurovision entry. There will be a surge of download sales on Saturday night, but will it be enough? Josh is a lovely lad - I'd like to see him with a hit.

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26.5.10
Me And My Tom Dice


Belgium? In the final?!

It's a bloody awful photo (due to the subject on the left, not the photographer), but I feel obliged to publish this one from the early hours of this morning, in case Belgium's Tom Dice wins on Saturday, which many people think (and hope) he might. He was superb last night, and managed to secure Belgium's first appearance in the Eurovision final for six years. They had failed to qualify every year since the introduction of the qualifying round in 2004 and semi-finals in 2008. Well done Tom!

Thanks to Eurovisionary's John Stanton for taking the photo. And if you think I look bad in this one, you should have seen the first attempt. The poor people of facebook have been subjected to it already.

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8 out of 10 ain't bad



Finnish lovelies Kuunkuiskaajat in happier times (ie. last week)


I correctly predicted 8 of last night's qualifiers from semi-final one. It was looking shaky though when Moldova popped out second from the virtual envelopes and then Portugal was fifth. I was two down out of five by that point, but I had all five of the final batch. I did say Moldova would be close, and that Poland was my wildcard (more in hope than expectation), so I partially covered my back on those, but I was very wrong about Portugal. I don't like the song; it bores me rigid, but I'm clearly out of touch with this one. I would guess it's the 50% jury votes which have saved Portugal though. I'd be surprised if televoting alone would have seen it through. We'll see when the full jury and televote results are published (which they eventually will be).

I feel very sorry for Finland, whose song thoroughly deserved to go through. Reaction in the hall led me to believe it would, as it was in the top three or four in terms of crowd response. But we are very near Finland here, so it was a skewed reaction to a Nordic neighbour.

When we were down to two envelopes and I saw on my scrawled notes that Albania hadn't yet been seen, I realised we were going to lose Iceland or Finland, or both. Then Albania came out of envelope number nine and I couldn't decide who I most wanted to come out of number ten, and in the end it was Iceland. I've been told that Iceland was in the final envelope last year as well. Given that it's no longer random paper envelopes, but controlled by the production team, I wonder why they did it again?

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25.5.10
Who's qualifying tonight from semi-final 1?



Chig with Peter Nalitch of Russia, qualifying tonight.




Chig with a Moldovan twinklet, a Belarusian butterfly and another Moldovan dancer, all in tonight's semi-final.


The regular reader will recall that I usually get seven, sometimes eight, of the Eurovision qualifiers right. If I were dedicated enough, I would look back over this blog and tell you, but I'm very comfy on the white sofas in the Eurovision tent and I can't be arsed, to be honest. Focus, focus, focus. Tonight is the issue.

First things first. Eurovision is smaller this year, because some countries dropped out. Therefore, with only seventeen countries in each semi-final, only seven are going home from each. Logically then, a deaf child pointing at ten country names with a stick will score at least three right, because only seven can be wrong.

I may try the pointing with a stick idea later. I just need to locate a child first.

Tonight's semi-final is, by almost unanimous agreement in Eurovisionia, the worst of the two. The worst of the two in a bad year. I'm not selling this to you very well, am I? Tonight is not a night I would be encouraging non-Eurovision fans to discover the joys of our favourite contest for the first time. There are very few gems amongst the doggy doo that so many countries have inflicted upon us this year. Frankly, I'd be embarrassed. Save the party for newbies until Saturday, when at least a few of the joyless ones will have gone home. Or at least Thursday, when the UK and Ireland can vote (for the British act representing Cyprus, hint, hint).

So, what do we know already?

Greece is qualifying, because it's Greece. It's also a catchy song with a good set, different lighting, and dancers with tattoos and short hair. Sold.

Serbia
is qualifying, because it's a fun party tune and it's Serbia. They failed last year, so they're not always a safe bet, but 2009's song was rubbish and this is good, whether or not you're intrigued by girlie-boy Milan and his Purdey haircut. (He's straight, okay. There are no gays in Serbia. Official.)

Belgium.
It's stunningly simple. It's Tom and his (mimed) guitar. He's sexy. Through.

So that's three safe bets.

We can rule out:

Latvia. Unintelligable dross, summed up by Aisha's final three words, "God knows why".
FYR Macedonia. It must surely be a piss-take. Man of a certain age has paid three lap dancers to 'love' him. Rapper comes in and steals his biatches back. Bryan May does a screechy guitar solo. This could be the Macedoine song in the Eurovision pastiche musical, Eurobeat - Almost Eurovision. They don't need to write another one.

Portugal. Dull, lifeless. The song, not her hair. I'm sure she's lovely, but the song ain't. Goodbye.

Which leaves us with eleven more songs, fighting over seven more places.

So, I'll go for: Russia, Finland, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Albania, Belarus, Iceland and Poland (my wildcard) to join Greece, Serbia and Belgium in the final. This is in no way based on quality, as some of them are shockers. It's based on history, allegiances and the odd novelty butterfly wing.

My favourite song (on the CD, and as a radio track) is Estonia, but it doesn't work on the Eurovision stage and may well finish last tonight. It's a funny old world. Joining Estonia at the airport tomorrow could therefore be Moldova (a tight squeeze though, and possibly 11th or 12th), Slovakia (the biggest shock for me, as I previously had this down as a qualifier), Malta (for having a daft bird on stage - the feathered one) and the aforementioned Latvia, Portugal and FYR Macedonia.

Whatever the result, enjoy tonight! We'll be back when time allows. I will also be appearing in another place tomorrow, finally justifying my existence (and accreditation) here by doing some proper journalism. More on that when it's done.

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Visions in blue



Roy, Russell, Chig and Dermot at Oslo city hall on Sunday night for the official opening party. At least one of us bothered to wear a tie.

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Eurovision starts tonight!

I've just watched the third dress rehearsal, in the hall, near the front, for tonight's live TV show, the first Eurovision semi-final. Astonishingly, there were no members of the paying public in there, unlike previous years. It seems the tickets weren't on sale. I feel genuinely sorry for the artists performing tonight. They've been denied the chance to get used to a live audience with the usual three run-throughs, and the sheer pleasure of performing to an audience. Watch out for some nervous or stunned performances, if they get taken by surprised by the crowd's reaction. For seven of tonight's acts, tonight is the end.

I'll be back later with my revised predictions for the lucky ten countries tonight and the unlucky seven who'll be going home. (Flights to Portugal and Latvia are easy to rebook at short notice, surely?)

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24.5.10
Pining for the fjords

We are sailing, we are sailing...

Not at the moment - I'm just sitting in my undies in our bijou Oslo apartment, but you didn't need (or want) to know that. No, this afternoon. Chig is off on a boat trip for something like four hours, cruising the fjords with the lovely people of the BBC, including our Josh, 'our' dancers and 'our' backing singers. The sun is shining again here in Oslo, where it has been hot for the last few days, with the occasional cloudburst to spoil the fun, most notably during the UK's only media conference so far. The rain was so heavy on the temporary structure of the media centre that it was practically impossible to hear any journalists' questions or the answers that Josh was giving.

Last night saw the official Eurovision opening party at the Oslo city hall, where uncle Svante declared Eurovision 'open'. (The previous 7 days, 78 rehearsals and 73 media conferences were a mere preliminary to the main events, which start on your telly tomorrow. Yikes, it's tomorrow!)

The foyer of Oslo city hall is a glory to behold, as was the 'pink' (it may have been cerise) carpet, on which we had to tread to get inside. The old-fashioned grandiosity and almost-Soviet murals adorning the massive internal walls were an interesting contrast to the minimalist, post-modern spaciousness of the Georgian party the night before, which was held inside the enormous opera house (with lots of time spent just outside it, admiring its in-yer-face slopingness).

On some measures, the Georgian party has won hands down as the liggers' choice of the week. Most notably, for the two of us here who are vegetarian, it won the food battle. Not only was there more than enough for us assembled gannets and impoverished foreigners, but I now know that it IS possible to survive a day without buying a main meal on a new mortgage, because you can survive on mini-mushroom tartlets and olives, when served by Georgians. The tartlets were gorgeous. If only Georgian Independence Day - the excuse for the party - were every day.

However, the official party last night won out on the music front. (Georgian jazz-funbk is so not my thing, I have discovered.) The Norvegians didn't overdo it, but focussed on quality, not quantity, so we had Bobbysocks, Eurovision's winners for Norway in 1985, still alive and able to bang out the schlagertastic tune, doing it this time with a group who looked exactly like the Brighton Gay Men's Chorus and were presumably the Oslo equivalent. Then we had Alexander Rybak chatting to the host and performing two songs with three female fellow fiddlers (alliteration overload!), including Fairytale, which he had conspicuously NOT performed when I saw him at the Euroclub on Thursday night, a few hours after my arrival.

After the official launch party ended last night, we wound our way just down the road to the Euroclub again, for the now daily 'six quid and not even a pint' of lager, making it last as long as possible. I had a good chat with one of the UK's backing singers. This is her in the middle, on set at yesterday's rehearsal. She was lovely, and will be on the boat trip later.



There was also one of those magic moments, where the DJ plays an artist's song while they're in the room and the cameras converge. The UK song was played while Josh, his singers and his dancers were all together, so we got a 'playback' performance with a 'let's do the whole show right here' kinda vibe. A TV camera was shoved in Josh's face, with the backing singers behind him. If you see this on TV or on the internet at any point, you may see that *I* seem to have joined the backing singers, with my own enthusiastic bellowing of the song in the presence of trained singers. I'd quite like to see it though. If the footage turns up anywhere, please do let me know.

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23.5.10
France's second rehearsal, today

Josh Dubovie at yesterday's UK media conference

An exercise in lowering expectations, or what?

Fact: the favourite block with the bookies for the UK to finish next week is 21st-25th. In other words, most people betting think we'll be in the bottom five. I think they're absolutely right and I suspect Pete Waterman knows this too. Here he is on Loose Women three days ago. He's out here with us in Olso next Thursday and will be in our media conference on Friday, along with Josh and Graham Norton.

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22.5.10
Breaking news

The French are now rehearsing, and they're making fine use of their vote-grabbing asset below. He shamelessly rips his shirt off and engages in some dance action, before returning to the mic stand. I can't recall a shirtless backing singer at Eurovision before, but he has the torso for it. My only complaint is that he isn't on camera enough. Come on NRK, sort it out!

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Sacre bleu!

Of course, dear reader, you want to hear all the buzz from rehearsals and parties here in the land of Eurovisionia. However, I am too busy staring at this photo, which my friend, the lovely John Stanton, allowed me to take on his camera last night after my phone had battery death.

In the unofficial Hunks of Eurovision contest, here is last night's New Entry, straight in at number one, out of nowhere and fresh off a plane at the Russian party. We had no warning that such a vision of hunkiness would be turning up - and I suddenly like the French entry (ooh, madam!) a whole lot more. He's a backing singer for France's Jessy Matador. In the sad and lonely World of Chig, there are many totty points available for any of the following on a man:

1) short hair
2) a white vest
3) interesting tattoos
4) being French

A combination of all four sends my tottymeter into overdrive, so now I must go for a 'lie down'. Enjoy!

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19.5.10
1 day to Oslo

Mission fail. Two days to Oslo seemed to fall by the wayside yesterday, but that's because my evening in turned into an evening out after an invitation to a meal and the cinema. Very good it was too.

So, Oslo is tomorrow. I'm excited and petrified at the same time. In Eurovisionia itself, all 34 semi-finalists have now had one rehearsal each. The UK rehearses on Saturday and Sunday afternoons, both around 16:0O-ish. I shall endeavour to report back. In the meantime, as my almost parting shot, here is the UK entry. There are probably still people in the UK who haven't heard this yet, so pin back yer lugholes and brace yourself, because this sounds good to me. This really *is* the UK's song.

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OMG!

17.5.10
Schadenfreude

With just 25 days until the start of the World Cup, and the inevitability of England having to face Germany at some point, it would be very wrong to take any pleasure in Germany losing Michael Ballack, their influential captain and best player, with a horrible injury after the clash below. Oh yes it would.

Photo (c) BBC.




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It really is an act of God

Quote of the day:

I had to chuckle this morning, hearing the antagonistic Willie Walsh, Chief Executive of BA, speaking on 5 Live. He said that tracking the movement of the volcanic ash cloud is based on a "theological model". Really? I can't wait to hear what God has to say about that, if she's not too busy.

I'm pretty sure he meant "theoretical".

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3 days to Oslo



Today is the national day of Norway, so it's a shame I'm not there yet.

On the 17th of May, Norwegians parade around Oslo and wave flags. Here's some evidence that they did this last year. Let's hope the rain stops, or this won't be much fun today.

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16.5.10
4 days to Oslo

Slipping in under the wire at quarter to midnight, as I am determined to write something every day in the lead-up to Eurovision in Oslo. I have been totally distracted today, first by reading loads and loads of blogging about the first batch of rehearsals today, then by BBC2's fantastic '80s night, which is distracting me now with Heaven 17 playing one of my very favourite albums, Penthouse & Pavement, in concert, in Sheffield, no less. I was able to sit in the garden, reading the blogs on my laptop, as it has been gloriously hot and sunny here in Birmingham, like an August day, in marked contrast to Oslo, where it has been bucketing it down for hours. The Eurovision media centre is in a tent, albeit a pretty substantial one, with toilets outside, so it hasn't been a comfortable experience today for the assorted hacks. In contrast, I have been very comfortable indeed, except for the squinting brought about by screen glare and when watching the weather forecasts, seeing the ash cloud drifting over the British Isles, grounding flights today, as the DoT predicted yesterday.

I've read every word of OnEurope, Eurovision Express and All Kinds Of Everything today from the Eurovision rehearsals. They're doing a blinding job in posting very quickly with all manner of words, photos and videos. It's astonishing how close and how 'real time' we can feel to the rehearsals these days. Only twelve years ago in Birmingham, the Eurovision rehearsals were a closely guarded secret, with the BBC and EBU petrified that a photo of the set would get out before the Saturday night. Now we have a webcam from the arena a month before the shows and a blog from the technical crew as well. The world has well and truly changed.

Anyway, my main wish today is to indulge in some pointless predictions. I drew up these lists yesterday, before a single minute of rehearsals had happened. Non-believers can check the comments for the semi-final predictions at Eurovision Express, where I posted them yesterday (Saturday 15th). So, as they were then, and not changed by any bloggers' opinions on rehearsals which I have read today, here are my predictions for the ten songs which will qualify from each semi-final. It will be interesting to see how my opinion changes after further reading and viewing and when I get there. In the meantime, I currently think the lucky twenty finalists will be:

From semi-final 1:


Slovakia - Horehronie - Kristina Pelakova

Finland - Työlki Ellää - Kuunkuiskaajat

Serbia - Ovo Je Balkan - Milan Stanković

Belgium - Me And My Guitar - Tom Dice

Albania - It's All About You - Juliana Pasha

Greece - OPA - Giorgos Alkaios & Friends

Belarus - Butterflies - 3+2

Iceland - Je Ne Sais Qoui - Hera Björk

Russia - Lost And Forgotten - Peter Nalitch & Friends

Poland - Legenda - Marcin Mroziński



From semi-final 2:


Armenia - Apricot Stone - Eva Rivas

Denmark - In A Moment Like This - Chanée & N'evergreen

Azerbaijan - Drip Drop - Safura

Ireland - It's For You - Niamh Kavanagh

Cyprus - Life Looks Better In Spring - Jon Lilygreen & The Islanders

Croatia - Lako Je Sve - Feminnem

Georgia - Shine - Sofia Nizharadze

Turkey - We Could Be The Same - maNga

Israel - Milim - Harel Skaat

The Netherlands - Ik Ben Verliefd (Sha-la-lie) - Sieneke


Controversially, this would mean a final without Sweden for the first time since 1976. If it happens, they only have themselves to blame. They should have picked a better song - they had enough of them in their final!

Oh, and since you ask, I think that Norway are going to win again*, with their version of My Heart Will Go On to a World In Union where You Lift Me Up. But more of that another day.

* Your home may be at risk if you place any bets based on ill-informed gut feelings on here.

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15.5.10
5 days to Oslo

...in theory, at least. The volcanic ash cloud is on its way back. The Department of Transport has just warned that UK airspace may be closed from tomorrow until Tuesday. That's getting dangerously close to my departure on Thursday. It may also affect the artists and delegations flying out to Oslo. Between Eyjafjallajökull and the BA strikes, I wonder how much damage may be done to the Eurovision rehearsal schedule? This could be interesting.

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14.5.10
6 days to Oslo

...and the first of my friends have flown out to Oslo today. Juha, Phil, Franko, Peter and Keith have definitely arrived and reported back. Elaine, Andrew and David are all in the air from Scotland as I write.

Today in Oslo was sunny, and warmer than London has been recently, according to Juha. Beer is £10.50 for a pint, as expected, Franko reports. That's Heineken rubbish as well! I already expect this to be the most sober Eurovision trip ever.

The facebook updates are starting to trickle in. More importantly, the Eurovision blogs have started.

You can read Peter and Keith's first impressions of Oslo on All Kinds Of Everything. Andrew has already done a quick preview of the songs.

Phil and Franko have started the OnEurope blog from Oslo already. Nick has done previews.

Both blogs already have photos on too. This is going to be fun! Rehearsals don't even start until Sunday!

On a more personal note, I did something this morning which I possibly shouldn't have done. After mentioning the Tripoli air crash yesterday, I foolishly listened to the 5 Live discussion this morning with Victoria Derbyshire, on which she spoke to four people who have survived plane crashes, including Nigel Farage, just eight days on from his election day crash and a woman who survived Kegworth. I've been getting worse and worse about flying, with some justification. I hardly fly more than two or four times a year, but I've been on two flights in the last five years which have hit trouble. The one from Kyiv in 2005 went into a nosedive and a brief trip to Amsterdam on a calm day hit turbulence so bad that even the cabin crew looked petrified - and that's when I know to be worried. So, hearing all the stats on plane crashes was rather disconcerting, especially as I couldn't find convenient direct flights to Oslo, so I'll be on FOUR planes this month, with four take-offs and four landings (the bits I hate most).

There have apparently been 1,300 commercial plane crashes worldwide since the 1950s, which doesn't include military planes or anything with fewer than ten people. On the other hand, around 90% of people in plane crashes have survived, which is a surprise. It didn't help though, and I lay in bed for a couple of hours after the programme, paralysed by fear. I'll be very glad when next Thursday is over and I'm (hopefully) in our Oslo apartment. Then I can just worry for the next ten days about the two flights back.

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13.5.10
Ten years ago today...


Nicki French has reminded us on facebook that today is the tenth anniversary of the night she represented the UK in Eurovision. It was my first Eurovision abroad. I stayed with a Swedish friend in Stockholm for the week and had press accreditation for Gay Times. Saturday 13th of May was the culmination of a brilliant week. Mike and I sat for the final next to two young Swedish women. Not only were they delightful company, but one of them worked for a music website and I got some work out of it later, doing gig reviews from the V2000 festival.

Every chair in the Globen arena had a little Swedish flag on it when we arrived. So, after going a bit mad for Nicki at song three, by the time we got to the home nation's Roger Pontare at song eighteen, after spending so much time chatting to our new Swedish friends, I had practically become Swedish. I went a bit mad for the three minutes that Roger was on. I'm fairly sure some of it was spent standing on the chair!

Happy days. I've dug out my photos from Eurovision 2000 today and put them on facebook, including the one of Nicki on stage (above). Here's the obligatory YouTube footage of her performance, ten years ago tonight.

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7 days to Oslo

...and what better way to prepare for a foreign trip than to buy some new footwear? Thanks to Mark for pointing these out to me last night, I have just purchased these fab trainers IN VILLA COLOURS from eBay, for a mere £16.62 (plus 4.99). Bargainous! I love 'em. Thanks Mark!

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12.5.10
8 days to Oslo

...was not the best day to wake up to news of another plane crash, with almost everyone killed. (How on Earth did that Dutch boy survive?)

At least it reminded me to renew my travel insurance, which I did this evening with Insure And Go. I made sure I asked if I would be covered if the volcanic ash cloud caused my flights to be cancelled. They clarified. I won't, because now the ash cloud is a 'reasonably foreseeable event'. Oh great.

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Dates for my diary: 2015 (provisional)

May 2015

Wednesday 6 May: Celebrate my 49th birthday.

Thursday 7 May: Cast my vote in General Election under not-good-enough AV system.

Friday 8 May: Watch Prime Minister David Milliband enter number 10 after Labour landslide.

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11.5.10
9 days to Oslo

Things to do while we're waiting for Eurovision.

Some of us need cheering up today. Especially those of us who reached the milestone this evening where the Prime Minister is younger than we are, for the first time in our lives. (Five months and three days, since you ask, but even without photoshopping, Babyface Callmedave still looks about a decade younger than I do.)

And those of us who can't believe we have a fucking Tory Prime Minister again.

Here he is, entering number 10 this evening. That's the number 10 where I live, not the other one.



To this end (ie. the cheering up thing), why not visit the lovely Jamie's Boom-Bang-A-Blog and enter his competition, like I have? He's asked people to design the outfit that UK Eurovision entrant Josh Dubovie will wear on stage in Oslo. Jamie's a proper journalist, so I imagine he holds proper sway with people at the BBC and it's 99% certain that the winner's design will be implemented. Deffo.

Anyway, here's my design. I can't do photoshop, but I'm a dab hand with google, scissors and glue.



Now, pedants and unfashionable people may claim that it is entirely derivative and unoriginal. However, I defy anyone to find an occasion where these three 'pieces' have been worn before in this ravishingly edgy combination.

Furthermore, the wearers of these items du mode finished first, first again and thirteenth in Eurovision, giving an average of fifth, thereby virtually guaranteeing Josh a top five finish.

Go on, you know you want to.

Body may not be model's own.

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10.5.10
10 days from Oslo

Knock, knock. Is this thing on?

Yes, we're back. Barely live and barely kicking, but back. Eurovision rehearsals start this Sunday, but I can't afford Oslo for the whole thing, so I'll be out there on Day 5. So, for superlative Eurovision news and gossip from rehearsals, try many of the decent websites out there. Or, for me, my camera and (for the first time) a laptop, keep trying back here. I may also be appearing somewhere else on t'internet, but it's all subject to hush hush contractual negotiations, so more on that later.

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