...and I had to go to the lav immediately after Lena's reprise, such is the effect that her irritating little song had on me.

More on this later.

But first, let's address the big issue of tonight's Eurovision: no points at all from the UK to OUR OWN PEOPLE representing Cyprus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What the hell happened? Was this a failure of the Norton variety? Or is the UK public (and jury) just unwilling to play the same game as everybody else?

Labels: Eurovision 2010, final

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Welcome to Eurovision final day! It's 11am here in Oslo and the sun is shining.

My second little Eurovision report for attitude magazine went online yesterday, in which I've talked about the second semi-final and the UK entry tonight. Anyone can read the attitude reports, but if you're registered with them, you can also leave comments, so please feel free to do that.

Unless someone throws a cheap (or free) ticket in my direction this afternoon, I'll be watching night's final in the media tent next door to the arena, which I've never done before. I simply can't afford a ticket, so I've seen the show already by attending the first rehearsal for free yesterday. My certainty about Norway winning again has wavered only slightly. There was nothing at all wrong with Didrik's performance, it's just the uncertainty of the whole event. After Ukraine qualified on Thursday, we know anything can happen. (I was happy that I correctly predicted seven qualifiers, in a more difficult semi-final. Friends' scores ranged from six upwards, with just one Irishman in my friends' prediction competition getting nine. Sweden was the one he put in that didn't qualify.)

I've heard a staggering fifteen of tonight's songs described as the winner by fans and journalists here. That probably means it will be one of the ten that no one has mentioned (to me). It really is that wide open - the complete opposite of last year.

The show itself is slick and well-produced, the humour is good and the flash mob dance in the interval act is fascinating to watch. The crowd in the arena will participate in this by standing still with one arm in the air. You'll see what I mean. Enjoy the show!

Labels: Eurovision 2010, final, semi-finals

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You have to feel for those who are attending the Eurovision final in Moscow tonight, especially the performers, as the show starts at 23:00 local time, scheduled to finish at 02:15. That means the winner's media conference will probably start at around 03:00 and finish about 04:00. Then there's a party... Good luck, all of you!

My each way bets for tonight, placed before the semi-finals, are on these five countries to finish in the top four. Obviously at least one of them will fail, but it won't matter, especially if Armenia make it again. (They were fourth last year.)

Song 08 Greece
Song 09 Armenia

Song 11 Azerbaijan
Song 12 Bosnia-Herzegovina

Song 20 Norway

If Bosnia don't make the top 4, I will be surprised and a lot poorer. My ten bets for Thursday's semi-final produced a return of £37.04, after betting £38, so despite getting eighto ut of ten right, Ilost 96p overall. I did better on Tuesday, withonly seven right but a profit of nearly £16. At least I'm in profit overall, so far.

I'm worried that there are now nine countries which I think could win and the more I think about France, the more I think it could be them. I hadn't realised until this week that Patricia Kaas is famous in the East as well as Western Europe. She received a gold disc for album sales in Russia in her Eurovision media conference this week. Her performance seems to stop everyone in their tracks, being described as "stunning" and "mesmeric". A second win for France, with Paris next year, would be wonderful. It just won't win me any money.

But I've only narrowed down the potential winners to eleven countries. Ha, ha. I don't think the fourteen not listed here have a chance, but won't it be funny if I'm wrong?

The potential winners are, I believe:

03 France
08 Greece
09 Armenia
11 Azerbaijan
12 Bosnia-Herzegovina
15 Estonia
18 Turkey
19 Albania
20 Norway
21 Ukraine
23 United Kingdom

The UK votes 20th tonight, out of the 42. We're after Lithuania. Will we reduce our usual recent points for Greece and Turkey in favour of Alexander Rybak for Norway? Will we also give middle points to the Swedish popera? Possibly yes in both cases.

The last five countries to vote are all from Eastern Europe, so if it's neck and neck between, say Norway and Bosnia, the Eastern country will win. A Western country will need to have a commanding lead after Denmark votes 37th in order to win.

Something you should know about Jade Ewen. The UK entry was given away last week as a free CD with Russian OK magazine, so lots of Russians have it. This was arranged by Universal, her record company. I've also read that it has SOLD another 100,000 copies in Russia. I'm expecting big points from Russia later, if not some of her former satellite countries too. Putin promised it to Andrew Lloyd Webber, after all.

Another thing you should know is that MTV Russia had a poll three or four weeks ago and viewers voted the UK winner of all the 42 songs. The winner! Is it any wonder we're slightly excited?

Here in the UK, Jade has at last sneeked into the midweeks at #69 in the official UK chart, taking sales up to Thursday night into account. She's up to #43 on iTunes, where Alexander Rybak's 'Fairytale' has also sneeked in at #204, being cherry-picked from the Eurovision compilation album.

Whatever you're doing tonight, have fun and enjoy what promises to be a spectacular show, with better presenters, Cirque du Soleil and a flying Dima Bilan, plus some close voting, I hope, made more unpredictable with the input of music business juries deciding 50% of the vote from each country, with televoting accounting for the other half.

If you want a pointless prediction, I'll go with this:

1st Bosnia-Herzegovina
2nd Norway
3rd Greece
4th France
5th Azerbaijan
6th United Kingdom

23rd Spain
24th Romania
25th Germany

I'll be watching at the Wellington in Brum with about 20-30 people crammed into the pub's small back room, before popping out later to see Jessica Garlick and Scooch at the Nightingale. It should be quite a night!

Labels: Eurovision 2009, final

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So, Russia finally won Eurovision last night, with their twelfth appearance in the final (and thirteenth entry overall, due to their failure to get through the oddity of the 'pre-contest' in 1996). They started entering Eurovision in 1994.

Dima Bilan wins on his second attempt and becomes first male soloist to win Eurovision since Toto Cotugno for Italy in 1990. Coincidentally, this was also the last time the contest was held in what was Yugoslavia at the time, in Zagreb (now in Croatia).

Russia becomes another new winner and the fourteenth different winner in fourteen years, which is great.

It's not the most popular winner here amongst the fans and the press pack though. Part of that stems from the cost of Moscow, which is the most expensive city inEurope, according to a report I read in the paper on the plane over here. It said the averaga hotel room in Moscow is 237 pounds per night, and that's average, when there's nothing special on. I simply can't afford to go. Some people wonder if the Russians might hold the contest in a more Western Russian time zone, to avoid the contest starting at 23:00 and fisnishing at 02:20, but I can't see any country winning Eurovision for the first time and not wanting to show off its capital city to Europe. It wouldn't make sense. We shall see.

The real reason Russia won was the ice-skater, I feel. Evgeny Plushenko is even more famous than Diva Bilan himself and I'm convinced that's what swung it. He (and the Hungarian violinist) turned a fairly dull song into a good performance and it was enough to get votes from all over the ex-Soviet parts of Europe.

My time here is done. Sightseeing beckons. It's amazingly hot again, as it was yesterday. Before I go, here's some proof that I have been eating. It's the delicious 'vegetable plate'. Yum. Bye for now.

Labels: Eurovision 2008, final, Russia

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14:10 Serbian time (13:10 BST)

I'm in the media centre, in one of the many 'working areas'. It's basically a room full of PCs, 72 of 'em! Only seven of them are occupied, which means I've secured a plum seat by the widescreen TV, which is transmitting the third and final dress rehersal for tonight's show, live from the Beogradska Arena, twelve minutes' walk through a housing estate.

The show has just started, so I'll try and comment on it as it unfolds, as well as blogging my top 5 songs and adding some photos. This could be a busy two hours!

The opening:

Rather understated after the theatricality of the semi-finals, but also surprisingly provocative, in a gender-bending way. For a country that's not exactly hot on homosexuality and gender issues - we've had offical warnings - it's rather brave and I applaud RTS for doing it.

Marija sings last year's winner a capella, then in the dance mix, then part of another song. She then introduces the hosts. There is no more to it (and the interval act later is pretty straightforward as well).

The hosts are pretty terrible. For once, I think the French (by Zeljko) is better than the English though. Well done to him for that. As usual, the script is cringingly crap and horribly stilted. Don't bother listening to them at your party. They say nothing interesting in the whole show, and nothing funny either.

01 Romania

Brilliant as ever. It's not an energetic start, but they are superb and I could sit and stare at Vlad all day.

02 United Kingdom

Believe it or not, I have seen 42 of the 43 countries live on stage. The one I haven't seen is the UK! This is because of the rehearsal schedule and some woefully slow custonmer service while getting a pizza yesterday, which meant I couldn't get to the arena in time for the first dress rehearsal. (The essay on Serbia's understanding of customer service may follow another day. Many people here will want to contribute.) We heard Andy Abraham's last notes and applause as we were going through the metal detectors on the way in! It wasn't meant to be.

Our postcard is quite funny. Try to read it. Good lord, what is Andy wearing? A silver fringed blue jacket from Butlin's? He's very smiley, the sound mix sounds right, strong vocals. The hunky male backing singer from Eurovision - Your Decision is back, many will be pleased to hear. Lovely colourful stage. "We love you", Andy shouts to the crowd at the end. It's a good, energetic performance of a completely unmemorable song. The poor lamb. I hope he's ready for the voting.

03 Albania

It started. It lasted three minutes. It ended. Previous experience taught me to include this in my predictions on Thursday, which proved correct, and I like the fact that the Albanian song made it to the final, as she has had to endure booing at rehearsals from some sections of the local audience because of the K word which we're not advised to mention, so fans have countered it with cheering, to support the poor girl. She's only 17 and she's not a politician, so I wish people would leave her alone.

04 Germany

Insipid, uninteresting and a hot favourite amongst us media types here and the bookies - for last place tonight. I never need to hear this again. The one who has been ill all week with a virus is now back. That's the most interesting thing I can say. They should have picked Carolin Fortenbacher and they wouldn't be in this pickle; they'd be in the top ten. Schade.

05 Armenia

She's not the best vocalist on display (and far from awful), but her limitations don't seem to matter anyway with this, as it's full of energy and the dancers have a good routine. Would have been a hotter favourite if she'd secured a later draw.

06 Bosnia & Herzegovina

Every moment of this is brilliant and I would love it to win. UK, vote for this! It has an immediate impact, it's funny and fascinating. A Russian man just asked me if I like this, as I was singing along (in my best Bosnian). He said "They're freaks". Yes, that's why I love them.

Break: 45 seconds from in front of city hall, where I can see there is now a screen, but the flowerbeds are going to get trampled. Obviously there's no one there now, so some woman just read out a script, with all the feeling that only a technician could manage. I imagine you'll be more excited later (if the BBC shows this bit).

07 Israel

This has shot up in my estimation and I completely understand how it made Tuesday's top ten. He's a pocket-sized hunk and there's not one of his five backing boys who has been anywhere near the ugly stick. His voice, which was grating on me at first, now seems fine. I love the freeform dance that the boys do at one point. It really works, because they look like they're having fun, and it lends a lighter touch to Dana International's otherwise serious-sounding song. Final shot: what a bunch of beauties! Also, Boaz is one of the few artists who has been spotted in 'our' Euroclub, so I respect him for that.

08 Finland

They know what they're doing and they do it well. This is the advantage of having a group represent you (as all the music is recorded anyway, so only the vocalist has to do anything. And the drummer. Have you tried miming drumming?) Odds on this winning have apparently come in from 150-1 to 12-1.

In other news, there are five of us currently in this press room. I know everyone here and we're all Brits. How strange.

09 Croatia

Another faultless performance from the group and the singer. The old geezer, who gets all the press coverage, doesn't actually do much and when he does, he shouts. I have no idea how this will do. It could win on novelty value alone, or just get a mid-table position with Balkan votes. Then again, Terry Wogan might encourage his TOGS to vote for it.

10 Poland

Isis Teeth delivers again, but although this has now grown on me, this is one I would happily have seen not qualify from Tuesday. I don't know why I dislike it, but it doesn't move me. She's too slick and the song is too smooth, with no interesting bits. Can't fault her singing though.

One of the best postcards, with umbrellas and some catchy music, leads up to...

11 Iceland

The favourite of The Gays, and it's easy to see why, even if I have criticised it for being old-fashioned and cliched. When I saw this in the hall earlier in the week, I thought Regina must have been sick, as only Fridrik was on stage, but I just hadn't realised how late she somes into the song. As someone said to me, they have really learnt how to perform this for TV, not the audience in the hall. The singing is perfect and this will get your party going! Eurobandid are Eurovision fans who make a living performing Eurovision songs as a Eurovision tribute act. It would be beyond surreal if they won Eurovision and then someone else could be a tribute act to them.

12 Turkey

The other proper band in the final, after Finland. I love it to pieces now. When only positions 12 and 13 were left in the draw on Thursday night, the Turkish singer said he wanted number 13, but he drew 12 instead, leaving unlucky 13 to Portugal, and it is unlucky, because now we have a break.

Break: The hosts are back, linking to the green room hosts, Kristina and Bane. I think they won a contest on Serbian TV to do this job. They're both funny and sexy and should have been the hosts in the hall as they're much better. They seem to understand how corny some of their script is and they're taking the piss out of themselves. You may not get to see this if you have ad breaks.

13 Portugal

Last out of the hat on Thursday, so the position after the break may have killed off its chances, but there's no doubting that this is now being widely seen as a deserving potential winner. I have succumbed to its charms, but it took a while for the tune to lodge in my head. It's flawlesly presented and if the Big Balkan Ballad vote is going anywhere, it may as well come here. Funny thing is, it IS a Balkan ballad, co-written by Andre Babic, who has popped up on backing vocals for more ex-Yugoslav Eurovision acts than I've had hot dinners. This is top two with Ukraine here in the media centre.

14 Latvia

My favourite activity of the last 48 hours has been talking to people about their reaction to Thursday's qualifiers and waiting for them to pull a sniffy face when they say, "But Latvia?" and then watch their disgusted reaction when I say it's one of my favourites. Some people are so bloody serious, they've forgotten how to have fun and don't get the joy of catchy, costume-based pop music. I have fond memories of Adam Ant when I see this and I would be overjoyed for it to win, if only because it would annoy so many people (and Riga was brilliant, so I'd love to go back).

15 Sweden

Catface is flat again. Why does no one notice this? I haven't heard her sing these opening verses well yet in several performances and rehearsals. Her stretched to buggery face terrifies me and I suspect lots of people won't vote for someone who looks so weird, no matter how much they like the song.

Omens: In 1999, Charlotte won from position 15, on the Saturday after Man United won the European Cup on the Wednesday. Can she do the same again? (No. I think Denmark may even beat her to the top Scandinavian position.)

Talking of which...

16 Denmark

"What a day for a daydream.." What song is that? (It's The Lovin' Spoonful, if I may answer my own question.) The intro always reminds me of it. I hate the fact that this is a lowest common denominator song that anyone can sing along with after half a chorus (and half a pint), which Simon sells very well indeed. But there's no progression in the song, it's just pub rock at its most basic. Please let a proper song or at least an interesting performance win, not this plodder.

17 Georgia

Dark horse alert! Dark horse alert! If ever a song has improved from the grainy video of a national final to the Eurovision stage, this is it. I can see this winning, because it has a peace theme with widespread appeal and the stage gimmick of the night. The transition from the dark side to the peaceful side is extremely well done. It has to be seen to be believed. I have a feeling it was inspired by this couple's act:



18 Ukraine

I would like to buy one of the men packaged in Ani's boxes. Sacha, Bogdan and the other two are just fantastic in this. The hook in this song is the head nodding. I have taken to doing it whenever I hear the tune (which is my text message alert, so that's quite often). Another perfect performance. If a pop song wins tonight, I hope it's this one.

The hosts return for a moment. My hotel roommate Dermot has just sat down next to me so I don't know what they said.

19 France

All the backing singers are dressed as Monsieur Tellier himself. Quite funny. "Mon amour chante en francais," he sings in the breakdown, which is just a tease to the folk back home (including the government arts minister) who criticised him for the song being in English.

This has the funniest false ending - it really did get cheered in the rehearsal yesterday as people thought it was over. Not today though. There are some intentionally bad camera angles (I have now decided they must be intentional) in this, but I'm not sure if people will get the joke.

20 Azerbaijan

The first time I've seen the finished version of this on a TV screen. The sheer theatricality of this must have put it through from Tuesday night. The funny thing is, there are billboards advertising this entry all over Belgrade; you can't get away from them. They also headlined the official party, which is odd. It will be interesting to see if Serbia gives it a lot of points. It's certainly a lot better than it was. They've tidied it up rather well.

21 Greece

As Kalomira starts off being carried on some kind of pole by the dancers, I find myself glad that Cyprus and their 'carrying the singer on the table' didn't get through as well (not that there was ever a chance). Big UK points for this, but I don't see it as a winner. It's too repetitive and doesn't really mean very much.

22 Spain

Keep an eye on the woman in the pink who can't quite get the dance moves. (It's intentional.) She's quite funny. The rest I can take or leave. Will Europe get the joke? Top ten or a hopeless failure. I'll go with the former.

23 Serbia

A simple and dramatic presentation and a possible winner. The home crowd cheers wildly after the third line of this. It seems innocuous, 'Don't forget my name', but apparently it's seen as an oblique reference to keeping hold of the place that begins with 'K' that we're not allowed to mention here. There's a reference later in the song to St. Vitus's Day, which apparently means another story related to the K place. Clever how they sneaked it through, isn't it?

24 Russia

The man with the empty eyes is back. The histrionics will hopefully put people off, but the presence of a real life champion ice-skater (Yevgeny Pluschenko) is good and works well in these Eastern parts, if yesterday's rehearsal reaction is anything to go by. I just can't afford 240 pounds per night for a week in Moscow (or a final that starts at 23:00 for that matter!)

25 Norway

I probably can't afford Oslo either, but nothing would give me more pleasure than to see this simple, catchy song take the prize, if only to shut up the pathetic 'Eastern conspiracy' whingers. It's slick and looks great. The male backing singer on the right with no hair is the same one who has done many previous Norwegian Eurovision performances and even tried to enter as a soloist. He's rather tasty, but I can't remember his name. Anyone? This is a lovely way to end.

We now see the scoreboard. It's nothing unusual or fancy; they've gone for the basic look.

Now a 'living legend' is due on to start the voting. Tonight it will be a basketball star who I've never heard of. I saw him yesterday and he is a giant. Today though, he's not here, so a stage hand is playing him. From the moment Serbia won last year, I had assumed that Novak Jokovic would play this role, but they shot their bolt by using him on Tuesday. It's because the French Open starts soon, so the tennis star couldn't do today. I'm guessing the basketball star won't be demanding a standing ovation, like Lys Assia did on Thursday, the cheeky Frau.

The reprise is shown now, in performance order (not reversed). Then some other business (we were chatting), then the reprise again, with shorter clips. Even if France improves tonight, the clip in the reprise is terrible, because it's already edited from last night's rehearsal. It sounds awful. They are doomed.

More crap banter from Will-ko and Grace-ko. They count down to the end of the voting in Serbian. Pray that they have no more than 15 seconds to fill, because they can't ad lib to save their lives. They count down in Serbian, should you wish to join in.

Interval act: Goran Bregovic and his Orchestra

This is the real deal. It's exactly what I hoped for and expected from a Serbian-hosted final. A band "for weddings and funerals". Serbians must have the best funerals in the world. How could you be sad listening to this joy? The Russian journalist has just come back and said he thinks Goran Bregovic is the winner of Eurovision as this is better than all the other songs. He was certainly popular in the arena yesterday. Locals were up and dancing near me. It was fab.

My new Russian friend thinks we should send Amy Winehouse to Eurovision. He couldn't remember her name, but he mimed her hair. Brilliant.

The interval band does three songs, then back to the hosts, then over to the green room hosts. They are now imitating Spain, Russia and France. Very funny, but I don't know if they'll show this on the BBC.

They're practicing the voting now, with live links to the 43 spokespersons and fictitious votes which are usually planned to give a 25-way tie at the end. Carrie Grant does her bit efficiently.

The hosts have the wrong name for the Moldovan spokesperson. He politely points out that he's called Vitaly. He's a cutie too.

As ever, there are some real timewasters amongst this lot. Just give us the bloomin' points!

OMG! French spokesperson! Hunk! Look out for the French votes. Swoon! Who is he?
OMG! Norway's isn't bad either.

After 20 countries, there's a break in the voting as it clearly isn't taking long enough. We get Kristina and Bane again. He's getting more hunky in every link. I think it's the stubble growing.

The leading three countries are shown now; 1st Poland, 2nd Turkey and 3rd Portugal in this fictitious line-up.

OMG! Slovenia also has a hunk giving the points.

At the end of the fake voting, it's not a tie. Germany have won! They've clearly taken the most ridiculous scenario possible. Some stagehands pretending to be Germany come down to the stage. Thankfully, they don't do a reprise. Credits roll. The end.

So much for posting my top five. I need a loo and drink break. Bye for now!

Labels: Eurovision 2008, final, live

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13:00 CET (12:00 BST). I'm in the Eurovision media centre now for the next few hours, mainly on the hunt for a ticket for tonight, but I will be online or popping back here frequently today.

So, your comments are invited. Who's going to win tonight? I've narrowed it down to twelve out of the 25, as I think this is the most unpredictable contest in years. The fiddling around that the EBU did with the semi-final draw, splitting up countries who are more likely to vote for each other, appears to have worked. With one or two minor quibbles, twenty decent songs have qualified for tonight's final (but what happpened to Bulgaria, which was fantastic?) The dross has mainly gone, but Denmark somehow sneaked in, with a song that I despise. The litmus test of whether FYR Macedonia would qualify with an average song has been passed. They didn't.

Twenty songs which have already gained Europe's approval this week will be competing with five that haven't, and forcing three of them down to the bottom of the scoreboard. (Serbia will be challenging to win and Spain may escape, although it's not as funny or as well-presented as I feared, thank goodness.) Germany, France and the UK will be fighting for last place, as no one except Ireland is likely to give us points, no one except perhaps Belgium will vote for France and only Switzerland may vote for Germany. The staging of the French song is a huge disappointment and it's going to fail miserably. It doesn't sound very good either.

As far as the UK vote is concerned, I have a horrible feeling that Denmark's tedious plodder and Sweden's familiar schlager will be right up there for the 12 and 10, with Bosnia getting the 'we do understand wacky' 8 points. I have heard, from a pretty reliable source, that Denmark topped the televote AND the back-up jury vote in France on Thursday. Be very afraid.

Who do you think will get the UK's points? We're first to give them this year, with former entrant Carrie Grant doing the honours, so the Scandis may top the scoreboard for at least one minute. If we give any points to Portugal or Bosnia-Herzegovina, it will bode very well for both of them. The second vote is from FYR Macedonia, so we'll immediately have an idea of the relative chances of Serbia, Croatia and Bosnia-Herzegovina too.

Please feel free to give your opinions below (if anyone's reading on a Saturday afternoon). I'll be back later.

Labels: Eurovision 2008, final, UK vote

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05:27 and I've just got in. Bloody hell. What a demanding night. Somewhere along the way, the best song won Eurovision. I won loads of money by betting on all three of the top three and the Schlagerboys plus a few people in Ireland rescued the UK from the total humiliation that we feared. My evening started off as a nightmare and has involved SIX taxi journeys this evening. I haven't really watched Eurovision, nor do I now have a copy to watch, despite setting my video earlier. All will be explained later. It got better, but I never imagined I would spend three hours drinking with our special guest after she had performed. And I'm supposed to be off the sauce.

That post mortem may be later than planned, but well done Serbia, you deserved it!

Labels: Eurovision 2007, final

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Sieben, sieben ai lu lu, sieben, sieben, ein zwei!
Sieben, sieben, ai lu lu, EIN, ZWEI, DREI!

It’s 16:00 and the Eurovision butterflies have kicked in already. I’m not even there, but I’m just anxious that everything goes to plan tonight at our Nightingale party. My 6’ 5” glamourous co-host Miss Maxi is trolling around the city centre for last-minute accessories at this very moment. It’s going to look like the little and large show, beauty and the beast, Marija Serifovic and her backing beauties. In short, a night of contrasts lies ahead.

Before I get completely carried away, it’s a sobering thought that today is missing Madeleine McCann’s 4th birthday and my heart goes out to her family, which is why I’ve put that picture on the left. It came from Myspace, who have set up a homepage for the appeal to find her. In the space of a few hours, it has attracted 140,000 friends. Let’s hope it works.

Sara Cox has just done a lovely interview with David Scooch from Helsinki, and played the Scooch single, possibly for the first time on Radio 1. The single is hovering around number 10 or 11 in the midweeks, meaning that it will probably chart tomorrow around #13, as our Eurovision song has an eery habit of doing in recent years. More on this tomorrow.

Yesterday, I read a lot of nonsense about Thursday night’s results. Let me say, here and now, that I have no problem whatsoever with any of the songs that got through to the final. There’s no conspiracy, no block voting. Individuals cannot organise themselves to vote en masse. The Eastern countries had the better songs and the better draws in the running order (with none after the breaks). All of the dodgy vocals came from Western countries; Denmark and Andorra (both flat) , Switzerland (out of breath because of the dancing) and Belgium (almost painful at times, but recovered a bit). Plenty of Eastern countries failed as well. Some people seem to have forgotten that. We’ll probably see, when the results are revealed tonight, that some countries got through with Western votes, not despite them. Enough moaning, The people have spoken and Eurovision doesn’t need to be reorganised. The West just needs to get its act together and submit better songs.

On a separate matter, please don’t assume that because any act, including the UK’s, says they can win, that they really believe it. They have to say it, for the folk at home. It’s just PR.

No matter how well Serbia do tonight, even if Wee Jimmy Krankie and the Lipstick Lesbians win for them, I bet they won’t get any UK points. The UK public just doesn’t get Balkan ballads. The irony is that Wogan’s Radio 2 listeners would love the song if they heard it a few times on the radio (and Marija has already recorded a fabulous dance version in English, called Destiny). Sadly, they won’t get the chance

The UK will have an enormous part to play in the tension of the final result if it’s close. Fearne Cotton will be giving our votes and we’re the 40th of the 42 countries to do so. Let’s hope it’s a nailbiter, but if Serbia is ahead with two sets of votes to go, they should have it in the bag, because the penultimate country to vote is FYR Macedonia (with Hungary last).

My prediction for the UK televote:

12 to Latvia
10 to Ukraine
8 to Ireland
7 to Greece (British lad)
6 to Sweden

That should be our top five. It’s the order I’m not so sure about.

My prediction for the top:

1st Ukraine
2nd Latvia
3rd Serbia

My prediction for the UK’s position: 18th – 20th, if we’re lucky.

Remember that, in the 41 other countries, most people know that France, Spain, Germany and the UK will be in next year’s final automatically. (Their commentators remind them during the show, just in case they didn’t know already.) This has two effects. It causes resentment, so people are already predisposed to dislike our entry and not vote for it. It also has a financial effect. If you live in a poorer country (and we’re the fifth biggest economy in the world, so that’s everybody else), you’re not going to waste money on a televote for a country that doesn’t need your vote. If you’re an Armenian factory worker who likes, for example, the German and the Georgian songs, you’ll spend money voting for Georgia, not Germany, because Georgia needs the assistance. Forget about ‘political voting’. This is practical voting. Unless the Big 4 countries submit themselves to the possibility of relegation, they will always underperform on the scoreboard. That will never happen, so we’re stuck as we are. Let’s just get used to it and agree to entertain the masses, as that’s what Scooch will do later.

No country deserves to win and host Eurovision more than Slovenia. Their national final lasts for three days, they produce well packaged compilation albums of all the songs and they take their music really seriously. Even though I haven’t bet on them, I will be ecstatic if Alenka wins, and she may. Message to Samo, who reads this: I will be coming to Ljubljana if she does it. It will be good to meet you again!

Right, that’s it. I have to be at the Nightingale for about 18:00 to set up. Katrina’s not arriving until 00:30 and performing at about 01:00. It’s going to be a long day! Have fun, mes amis, whatever you’re doing and we’ll be back for the post mortem tomorrow.

Labels: Eurovision 2007, final

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Here is the scoresheet I've designed for tomorrow night's Eurovision final.

I have now added the ten flags, qualifying songs and performers from last night. Please feel free to download it here.

Please let me know if have any problems downloading it, or if you notice any mistakes, or if there are any improvements you can suggest. If you are having a party and you use it, please let me know how you get on. It would be good to have some feedback.

For those of you who are coming to the Nightingale for Eurovision and Katrina, you'll be seeing this tomorrow, along with lots of salty nuts and some things to suck on before landing. (Lollipops!) I now have two spare bags of Maltesers mini-packs, bought on the assumption that Malta would get through last night. I guess I'll just have to eat them. The prize we have has come from Olivia Lewis as well, direct from Finland this week. Damn you, Europe!

UPDATE: I've printed 60 colour copies of this today, so if there are any errors, it's too late. The nightmare will be the adding up! Thank goodness alcohol and I aren't mixing at the moment.

Labels: Eurovision 2007, final, scoresheet

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