I'm watching The X Factor. As I expected, this is the dullest one ever. Who ever thought that nine or ten Mariah bloody Carey songs would be interesting?

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

LATER: So, once again it's the early performers in the bottom two, and everyone is pretending to be surprised. (I'm watching The Xtra Factor on ITV2 now.) As I wrote last week (below), they keep skirting around the issue, being shocked that it was Ruth (performing second) and Laura (performing third) in the bottom two. Why are they surprised? Eoghan was on first and is clearly attracting the girly vote as he's the only young lad left. With Scott and Austin both gone, he has a better chance of hoovering up the votes, so he has escaped the curse of being on first, leaving Ruth and Laura to face the judges and now another of the favourites has gone.

Rachel was horribly out of tune tonight with her version of Against All Odds (Take A Look At Me Now). She wasn't brilliant last week either. It's about time she went.

Louis Walsh was talking crap at the end, once again. He said he had to vote someone off, but it wasn't true. He could have chosen Ruth to go and left the result in the hands of the public by taking it to deadlock. He didn't, so he must be enjoying the power trip. Don't feel sorry for him having to make a decision; he didn't have to do it. He evicted Laura because she was a threat to his group, JLS.

I hope we never, ever have to endure so many Mariah Carey songs in a row ever again. I love watching The X Factor, but this was the most yawn-inducing show they've ever had. Here's an idea. Spare us from theme weeks, determined by whoever's releasing an album in the Autumn schedules (cf. Britney, on The X Factor very soon) and just let the contestants sing songs in the styles that suit them. Then they'll feel more comfortable and produce better performances. They'll also be able to establish their own identities and we'll really get to know whether they have a future, like Leona Lewis, or whether they'll be a pointless winner who's going to be dropped after one number 4 album, like Leon Jackson.

I'm going out now, to see Austin Drage at the Nightingale, take a few photos of him and commiserate with him over being kicked out last week. It's the least I can do.

Labels: X Factor

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So it's farewell to Austin Drage and my potential cash cow. Yes, he's the X Factor contestant who I've photographed on two occasions in 2004, when he was with a boyband called either 5 Boyz or 5 Guyz. (Either way, it was a terrible name.) I took the picture of him above at Cardiff Mardi Gras 2004. I also have photos of him performing with the band at Route, a gay pub in Birmingham. Our paths nearly crossed a third time, at 2005's Oxford Pride, but one of the 5 Boyz was missing that day. (If they'd had a different name, it wouldn't have been so obvious that one was absent.) As you can see from my photo on the left, the missing one was Austin, unfortunately.

I've watched all four X Factor and Xtra Factor programmes tonight and no one has mentioned that the bottom two acts, both this week and last week, were the first two acts to perform. This leads me to conclude that, although the evicted acts had been justified for the first three weeks, Rachel and Austin were just unlucky tonight. Neither of them should have gone, but people who vote don't seem to be watching the start of the show. The X Factor's vocal coach said tonight that Austin is one of the best singers that the show has ever had. I think it's obvious that she's right and it's a real shame he's gone. Still, it's the Nightingale's gain. All the evicted acts this year are appearing at Birmingham's Nightingale club the week after. I haven't rushed out to see Scott Bruton tonight, or Girlband and Bad Lashes on the previous two Saturdays, but I think I may be there next week for Austin.

Labels: Austin Drage, X Factor

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And I am quite excited, although I don't much like these early stages of the knockouts, when we are supposed to make a judgement and throw someone out after about ninety seconds of singing a song which has been edited to death, because that's all they get. Is there anyone here not expecting Daniel the pool cleaner to be first out tonight, if not one of the groups? Goodness only knows what was occupying the tiny mind of Minogue when Dannii put him into her final three last week. He was the worst of her six and simply cannot sing, except in the pub crooner/Vic Reeves style, which just sounds rubbish. If it was sympathy for his lost wife which got him through, it's very misplaced, so I can only think it was tactical. Dannii wants to attract the votes to her other two singers, so she is prepared to sacrifice one early on. It does make a kind of sense.

I have enjoyed the audition shows of this series so far, even if the judges have completely failed in their very simple mission to find some called Leo, who would obviously have been this year's winner, following Leona and Leon.

I have also had an added double frisson of excitement while watching this year. I recognised one of the auditioning acts in the second programme, as they have crossed my path before, photographically speaking, not once, but twice (and very nearly three times). The photos are sorted and ready to go to the tabloids, for a huge amount of money, should the need arise, because yes, they have made it to the final twelve. Hurrah! Can you guess which act it is? At the very least, the photos will appear on here during this series.

One of the other talented acts, wait for it, used to be babysat by the partner of the woman I sit next to at work. Oh yes, we are at the cutting edge of showbiz here. Sadly, that was floppy-haired schoolboy Liam, who made it to Simon Cowell's (rented) Barbadian bungalow, but the sight of Sinitta in her gold lamé bikini appeared to put him off and Simon didn't choose him for his final three. (Mistakenly, in my honest opinion. Eoghan is nowhere near good enough to be there.)

At this early stage, I think only Diana, Laura, Alexandra or Austin are potential winners. None of the groups has a cat in hell's chance, and JLS are nowhere near as good as Louis keeps pretending they are. Austin can really sing, but needs to calm down emotionally. He has also undergone a goth/New Romantic makeover, which is slightly worrying. Diana is captivating and amazing, and with Eva Cassidy having left the role of 'living Eva Cassidy' vacant quite a while ago, there's a place in the market for her, surely?

Who's your winner? (I wonder if anyone would have said Leon at this stage last year? I certainly wouldn't have done.)

One final thing that has occurred to me while watching The X Factor and Strictly Come Dancing this year:

Are the bookies accepting bets on the winners of both series having the same name? I can see it happening...

Labels: Strictly Come Dancing, TV, X Factor

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I wasn't seeing things. Here's the caption which must have annoyed the whole of Wearside on Saturday's X Factor:

Labels: TV, X Factor

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Dermot O'Leary made a surprising announcement tonight at the start of The X Factor. If it's true, it looks like the winner of this series won't be aiming for the Christmas Number One this year. He said the final takes place in four weeks' time, making it the 22nd of December and not the 15th; the date which would be necessary in order to register shop sales for the Christmas chart. (I thought there would be a double eviction soon, or the return of the three-act final, in order to cater for this.)

With Christmas Day on Tuesday 25th, the Christmas Number One will be announced on Sunday 23rd, meaning that an X Factor final on Saturday 22nd would have no impact at all, unless... unless...

Are they planning to take a massive gamble and release the winner's song as a download immediately after the programme? This would give two hours at the most for the song to outsell everything else from the last seven days before the midnight cut-off point for the chart week. However, if it sold at the same rate as Leona's download did in its first hour, it would be more than enough to top the charts.

Leona's single was released as a download after midnight last year, but it didn't matter because last year's final was on Saturday 16th December, giving a whole week of sales before she easily claimed the Christmas Number One on Christmas Eve.

If Dermot was right, this will add another twist to the annual race for the Christmas Number One, but he may be wrong. After all, last week he said the theme of today's show would be Motown, but that's been ditched in favour of love songs. Perhaps the X Factor people just don't know what they're doing?

This feeling will be heightened by the bemusing caption they put on screen tonight during Hope's travels back home. Did it really say, 'Sunderland, County of Durham'? For a start, it's called 'County Durham', not 'County of Durham'. More importantly, Sunderland isn't in it. It remains in the county called Tyne & Wear, unless I missed an announcement somewhere. A shocking mistake to make.

While I'm here... Rhydian gave a series-winning performance tonight, of one of my favourite songs ('Somewhere' from West Side Story), while Niki struggled with a few notes, especially near the start. I think Hope are in danger again tonight, after performing an unknown song (unless you're a Christina Aguilera fan), with some wavering vocals, despite what the judges said. (They can't hear a thing in the studio; we are in a much better position to hear the vocals on TV.) Surely Hope will be in the bottom two? However, it will probably be with Leon, in which case he may go, thereby keeping the girls in with a chance of winning, which is what some of the former contestants believe the programme-makers have wanted all along. (Ooh, it's a World of Chig exclusive!)

Labels: chart, Christmas, geography, Number One, X Factor

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Last week's surprise rejects from The X Factor realised this morning that they will struggle as a five-piece, so they recruited an extra member. Futureproof become Futurepoof.



"Okay lads, here's the deal. One sixth of all future royalties and I'm all yours."

Labels: Futureproof, Nightingale Club, X Factor

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Did you see the old couple on today's X Factor? I haven't seen her for over twenty years, but I'm 90% certain that Dorothy is the mother of my first ever boyfriend. Same surname, same area, she said she had sons (which fits) and she looks and sounds vaguely like I remember her.

I can't wait for boot camp now!

Labels: X Factor

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...watching the Nottingham leg of The X Factor on tour, with Mike, who has reviewed it in the local paper today. (It's online here.)

Due to some inexplicable box office mix-up, we were delayed going in. We weren't that bothered as we walked in late, just in time to catch Nikkita's last song. But then we found out from the girls in front of us that we had missed Eton Road. They'd been on first! Gutted. Never mind though, we'll catch them when they return at the end for whatever all the acts are going to do together. And Eton Road's Danny and David were compering the whole event, so we saw a lot of them.

Except there was no other appearance. Leona did her number one single at the end of her set. Flames, ticker-tape bombs, firework curtain, Leona leaves, lights up, bugger off. Thank you and goodnight. It was a terrible, anti-climactic ending to the evening.

So, I drove a one hundred mile round trip and still haven't seen little Anthony and the other one on stage. Bugger.

Still, I did recognise two of the dancers, as they were Turkey's dancers at Eurovision in Athens. I chatted to one of them on the phone afterwards and he revealed that the X Factor tour's choreographer is the same guy who choreographed the 'Superstar' routine for Turkey. It was still a good night out, even watching the desperate ones, and Leona was fantastic. I was entertained by the crowd too, almost as much as the singers at times, but I still can't believe we missed Eton Road.

Here's that Turkish routine again, because it's fabulous:

Labels: Eurovision, gig, Turkey, X Factor

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