Ireland - 'Irelande Douze Pointe' (sic) - Dustin The Turkey

I think I've said all that needs to be said already about this. It's a mess, but an amusing mess and I'm glad it's in the contest, if only for Dustin's press conferences and the fact that lots of prissy people are really snooty about this song being there. I have no time for people who have forgotten that the contest should include some fun.

Labels: Dustin The Turkey, Eurovision 2008, Ireland

· link

In one of the best Eurovision press conferences since Alf Poier, Dustin, earlier today, discusses Wogan, Andy Abraham and, er, cock. My Eurochums Richard, Robin and Keith get to pose the questions, with Keith asking about the thing that's on everyone's mind. Excellent question Keith!

Labels: Dustin The Turkey, Eurovision 2008, Ireland

· link

In my excitement about the French Eurovision single being released here next month, it almost flew under my radar that the first of THREE of this year's Eurovision singles is released on CD today. Yes, Dustin The Turkey gets a CD release today in the UK and also this week in Ireland. It's only £1.99 from hmv.com.*

We will watch the midweek charts with interest. Will Dustin tell Madonna to cluck off? I doubt it somehow, but it must chart somewhere. When did we last have three countries' Eurovision entries released in the UK? There could be a fourth if the winner gets released (which it wasn't last year) and it's not from Ireland, France or the UK.

* Other purveyors of gramophone recordings are available.

Labels: Dustin The Turkey, Eurovision 2008, Ireland

· link

No one can be surprised that Dustin The Turkey won Ireland's Eurosong, but I am pleasantly shocked that England beat France 13-24 in the rugby in Paris.

Croatia and FYR Macedonia have picked two appalling songs to send to Eurovision. Ukraine has picked a corker by Ani Lorak and Romania is sending the sexiest man I've seen so far in this Eurovision season.

But the news will be the turkey. I think Ireland will now finish in the top five in Serbia, if they can get past the slightly more discerning audience who will watch their Eurovision semi-final. And the EBU will change the rules so that no puppets are allowed after this year.

Labels: Dustin The Turkey, Eurovision 2008, Ireland, rugby, Six Nations

· link

Three rugby matches, eight Eurovision finals, and some unfortunate scheduling clashes between the two. In short, I can't watch the France v. England match, because it's on at 20:00 tonight, not in the afternoon. Grrr. Irish people have it much better. They'll be able to watch their rugby boys play at home to Scotland in Dublin, immediately before watching the five singers above battle against that turkey in Limerick.

The Eurovision pre-season reaches its peak tonight, with nine countries having live shows. That's eight national finals, plus the third heat of Sweden's Melodifestivalen.

Tonight's events:

Bulgaria - final of Pecen v Eurovizija
Croatia - final of Dora 2008
Iceland - final of Laugardagslögin
Ireland - Eurosong 2008
FYR Macedonia - SkopjeFest 2008
Poland - Piosenka dla Europy
Romania - final of Selectia Nationala
Ukraine - national final
+ Sweden - third heat of Melodifestivalen

We'll be at Glitterball Mansions, starting off with the Irish final, which anyone can see on the interweb - hurrah! We'll then be juggling between the internet (which we can watch on our friends' big TV) and various satellite channels, to catch as much as possible of the others, with a particular interest in Poland, because they have some good songs for a change.

World of Chig is hoping for victory in Poland for Sandra Oxenryd (left), who is Swedish, and a place in the Swedish final for BWO, fronted by Martin, who is Polish. Wouldn't it be delicious if they ended up representing each other's countries? (We could fill in the 12s on our scoresheets well in advance of May.) Sandra Oxenryd is a Eurovision tart, in the nicest possible way. She has already represented Estonia, in 2006. She's now looking for another country who'll have her if her homeland won't. Tonight she'll be singing my most-played song of the 2008 season so far, Super Heroes. It's as catchy as the pox and I love it.

In advance of the Irish final, all six contestants got together this week to murder pay homage to an Irish Eurovision classic, Johnny Logan's 'What's Another Year?". It's useful, if only because it helps me rule out two of the contestants straight away. Leona Daly (yellow dress) has a voice that gives me the creeps. I can't stand it. Just sing normally, woman! Liam Geddes (white shirt, dark suit) gets the words wrong in both of his sections, despite singing one of the most well-known songs in Eurovision (and Irish) history, which is worth the voters bearing in mind tonight.



Also this week, someone managed to pull the wool (or feathers) over a few people's eyes, by circulating this as Dustin The Turkey's song. It isn't, but it's clever because it takes some of the ideas from Dustin's song, which were publicised before the song itself was revealed, and takes a reasonable guess at how they might be used in the lyric, creating a passable song which may be funnier than the real thing. Make up your own mind:



Just in case there was any doubt, this is the real Dustin song, with the full lyric underneath, so you can sing along. I have a funny feeling that if Dustin wins tonight, Ireland will become the bookies' favourites to win in Serbia. Just like all those Finns who were mortified when Lordi were chosen to represent them, any embarrassed Irish people will feel a lot happier when the turkey lands high up on the scoreboard in Belgrade.



Dustin The Turkey - 'Irlande, Douze Points'

Oh I come, from a nation
What knows how to write a song.
Oh Europe, where oh where did it all go wrong?

COME ON!

Irlande douze points

Drag acts and bad acts and Terry Wogan's wig
Mad acts and sad acts, it was Johnny Logan's gig

Shake your feathers and pop your beak
Shake 'em to the West and to the East
Wave Euro hands and Euro feet
Wiggle in the air to the turkey beat

Irlande douze points
Irlande douze points
Irlande douze points
Do the funky beat

D-O-E double B-L-E, yeah!

Hello Abba, hello Bono, hello Helsinki
Hola Prague, hello sailor, c'est la vie
Auf Wiedersehen, Mamma Mia, and God save the Queen
Bonjour Serbia, good day Austria
You know what I mean!

Shake your feathers and pop your beak
Shake 'em to the West and to the East
Wave Euro hands and Euro feet
Wave 'em in the air to the funky beat

Shake your feathers and pop your beak
Shake 'em to the West and to the East
Wave Euro hands and Euro feet
Wiggle to the edge of the turkey beat

Irlande douze points
Irlande douze points
Irlande douze points
(Raspberry, or fart!)

Irlande douze points
Irlande douze points
Irlande douze points
Do the funky beat
Come on!

Give us another chance, we're sorry for riverdance
Sure Flately he's a Yank
And the Danube flows through France
Block vote, shock vote
Give us your 12 today
You're all invited to Dublin Ireland
And we'll party the Shamrock way

Irlande douze points
(Irlande douze points)
Irlande douze points
(Irlande douze points)
Irlande douze points
(Irlande douze points)
Irlande douze points
(Irlande douze points)
Do the funky beat
Come on!

Irlande douze points
Irlande douze points

Eastern Europe we love you
Do you like Irish stew?
Or goulash as it is to you?

Shake your feathers

Listen Bulgaria we love you
Belarus, Georgia, Montenegro,
Moldovia (sic), Albania, Croatia,
Poland, Russia

Ukraine, Macedonia, Love you Turkey
Hungary, Estonia, Slovakia,
Armenia, Bosnia Herzegova (sic)
And don't forget the Swiss!

Labels: Dustin The Turkey, EuroSong, Eurovision 2008, Ireland, Poland, Sweden

· link

The first complete song from the UK's selection is available. 'It's You' by The Revelations is on their MySpace page. It's a shame we were spoilt by 'If I Called You On The Telephone', because inevitably this isn't as good. It's certainly catchy, but with a very formulaic sixties sound. You've heard the style before, so it makes you think you've heard the song before. Then again, in Eurovision terms, maybe that's no bad thing. (One of them , or someone pretending to be one of them, has responded to a MySpace message I sent them this evening, so they have shot up in my estimation. I'm easily pleased.)

Dustin The Turkey's song has also been revealed today on Irish radio. Brace yourselves, it ain't subtle and it ain't pretty. You can hear it and download a radio rip here. You hace to feel sorry for the five other artists who are battling against this on Saturday in Limerick, particularly Donal Skehan, who (a) seems to be a cutie pie with a genuine interest in the contest (nudge, nudge) and (b) has a rather catchy slice of Europop with 'Doublecross My Heart', available to hear and download here..

Dustin's song, 'Irlande, Douze Points' includes possibly the longest list of other countries' names ever contained in a Eurovision song. At least the intention is blatantly open with this one. It also contains the following gems within its sophisticated lyric:

"Drag acts and bad acts and Terry Wogan's wig,
Mad acts and sad acts,
It was Johnny Logan's gig."

"Eastern Europe, we love you,
Do you like Irish stew,
Or goulash, as it is to you?"

Everyone I know (except one), including me, had the rejection e-mail today from the company organising the audience for Eurovision - Your Decision, so it looks like I'll be watching it round at Schlager Towers with the Schlagerboys.

Labels: Dustin The Turkey, Eurovision-Your Decision, Ireland, The Revelations, UK

· link