World of Chig   

28.4.11
Heute beginnt die Reise.

(The road trip starts today.)

Chig's drive to Düsseldorf starts today, via the Retro bar in London tonight for Douze Points (semi-final 2) and a sleep in Walthamstow, then Eurotunnel tomorrow and a drive from Calais across a tiddly bit of France and halfway into Belgium for a stag weekend in Brussels. On Monday, another couple of hours' drive to the campsite on the Unterbachersee in Düsseldorf which will be my home for the following fourteen nights, if I can put up my new, bigger tent.

Camp Chig! Camp Eurovision! Call it what you will. It's going to be a very different Eurovision, and hopefully a lot of fun.

Eurovision rehearsals start this Sunday (1st May). I'll be reporting back from Tuesday 3rd onwards. Bis bald, meine Freunde!

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24.8.08
London: Olympic City

1,434 days.

Or 204 weeks.

Or 3 years, 11 months and 4 days...and a mere £9.325 billion.


... until Friday 27 July 2012 - the start of the London Olympics and Paralympics.

You wouldn't want to be Lord Coe, would you?

London officially becomes the next Olympic city at the end of today's closing ceremony in Beijing. (BBC One coverage starts at 12:00 BST.) This is despite the fact that Beijing is still to host the Paralympics, which start in thirteen days' time. Bumbling Boris, who will hopefully be voted out of office two months before the London Olympics start, will be handed the Antwerp flag and then it's all ours!

At exactly 14:04 BST today, if it runs to time, London will be given eight minutes of the closing ceremony to give a flavour of what we can expect to see in 2012. (It's that Chinese lucky eight thing again.) This will apparently include:

  • A London bus being chased into the stadium by three of our cyclists; gold medallist Victoria Pendleton, triple gold medallist Chris Hoy and BMXer Shanaze Reade (who fell off in her final, thereby showing the full range, from British excellence to plucky, heroic British failure).
  • A soundtrack which includes the shipping forecast.
  • David Beckham.
  • The bus opening out like a flower.
  • Leona Lewis and Jimmy Page doing 'Whole Lotta Love'.

I'm still unsure whether to be horrified or excited by this prospect. It's clearly going to be a bit naffer than 5,000 years of Chinese history, which was done so effectively in Beijing's opening ceremony. It looks very much like it will be done with a cheeky, British sense of humour, which will basically be the UK saying, "Look, we can't afford the forty billion that China has spent on the games. We're going to do it our own way, on the cheap, if that's okay with the rest of the world."

While all of this is going on in Beijing, there's a party in The Mall in London, where the Olympic spirit will be celebrated, appropriately enough, outside the home of Phil The Greek. Apparently, he and his German wife Liz won't be at home.

London has thirty screens up today to watch the closing ceremony and the gig on The Mall, in which the acts taking part, including Will Young, James Morrison and The Feeling will be doing sport-related songs. (Spandau Ballet's 'Gold', by any chance?) There's also rumoured to be a link to Notting Hill Carnival, where Heather Small will perform something. Hmm, I wonder which song that will be...

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30.4.08
London, save us all

"My friends, as I have discovered myself, there are no disasters, only opportunities. And, indeed, opportunities for fresh disasters."
(Boris Johnson, 2004)

London, please don't let tomorrow be an opportunity for a fresh disaster of historic proportions. Boris Johnson is tremendously entertaining and very amusing, but we're laughing at him, not with him. If he becomes London mayor tomorrow, the world will be laughing at us all. Please don't let it happen.

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26.11.07
See, she really did do it live...

The woman who did the 'mind the gap' announcements on the tube (an underground transportation system in that there London) has been sacked.

According to this BBC article, she "has worked for the Underground since 1999". You thought she just popped into a recording studio eight years ago and said three words, didn't you? But no, she has been doing it live all that time, and it hasn't been without its consequences. The story says she is 36, but as you can see from the BBC's picture (left), the pressure of saying that line over and over again for eight years has turned her into a 60 year-old. How sad.

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29.6.07
Tiger Tiger, burning bright...

About ten years ago, I was out in London with a friend celebrating his birthday. We moved from one pub to the next and gathered on the pavement outside our ultimate destination. Then most of us went past the bouncer check and into the venue, where the punters were packed in like sardines and it was impossible to get to the bar. Those of us who were inside soon realised that birthday boy was still outside. The over-zealous bouncers had decided that he didn't have the right kind of trousers on, so we all squeezed ourselves back outside and went to spend our hard-earned cash in a more welcoming venue instead. The bar that wouldn't let birthday boy in was Tiger Tiger on Haymarket. They've been open for many years, so if the Met are looking for people with a grudge against the venue after today's shocking events, they might have a long list to go through...

Some other theories to give the police a bit of a start:

1) Gordon Brown, setting a test for new Home Secretary Jacqui Smith on her first day in the job. She hadn't even been shown her desk and the Home Office fire exits before she was whisked under Whitehall for a Cobra meeting this morning.

2) Jacqui Smith's family. Yesterday morning, no one outside of the Labour Party knew who she was. Today, all over the media. Result.

3) The Poetry Militia. A little-known extremist outfit, dedicated to bringing the works of their spiritual leader, William Blake, to life.

On a serious note, if I were in London for Pride tomorrow, I think I would have changed my mind about going out on the streets. With two car bombs found so far, who knows if there are others? I'm all for 'not letting the terrorists win', but I think I would wait until the police were on top of the situation. Tonight, that doesn't seem to be the case, as it still seems to be unfolding before us.

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4.6.07
Superb 2012 Olympics logo unveiled



Sadly (for the whole country), this is just one that was sent in to the BBC website by someone called James Wren. The rubbish that we'll be seeing for the next five years is this piece of 'street art':



Anyone who thinks this is a man (on the left), wanking off another man who is crouching slightly, with a newspaper over his head - think George Michael visits Hampstead Heath - is clearly a sick pervert.

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