World of Chig   

1.3.08
Eurovision - Your Decision - The Official Song*

To the tune of Helena Paparizou's 'My Number One'

(With apologies to all of today's contestants and just about every lyricist who ever existed.)


Eurovision
Your Decision
We're choosing our song and it's on television.

We have six songs
It's not too long
If we have more our audience will all be gone

Say you'll watch it
Hope it's not shit
And someone will end up with a top thirteen hit

As we're Big 4
Don't expect more
Europe won't pay to leave more points at our front door

CHORUS:
Who's number one?
We're not number one.
We used to be but then it all went wrong.
Who's number one?
With their Irish songs?
But with wooden spoons, they have replaced their gongs.

Revelations
They're sensations
But will they be chosen to sing for our nation?

(Violin scraping - the bottom of a barrel)

Here comes Michelle
Will she do well?
If she keeps her eyes shut she'll have no chance in hell.

He's X Factor
Drove a tractor
But it was a bin van which don't rhyme with `factor'

Who are LoveShy?
It's quite CLEA why
They'll have hunks on stage which might just see them get by.

Then Simona
She's a loner
Had to be `cause Lord Lloyd-Webber didn't phone her.

CHORUS:
Who's number one?
We're not number one.
We used to be but then it all went wrong.
Who's number one?
With their turkey songs?
But with wooden spoons, they have replaced their gongs.

Then there's our Rob
Carried a hod.
Not a Joseph but he can just be a sex god.

(Violins scraping again)

CHORUS:
Who's number one?
We're not number one.
We used to be but then it all went wrong.
Who's number one?
With their puppet songs?
But with wooden spoons, they have replaced their gongs.

Desperation
Grips our nation
Who will be our next 23rd place sensation?

Hey!

(c) Chig 2008

*Not.

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