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Eurovision 2008 - Chig's 30th favourite song

Just when you thought we'd forgotten, it's back! Our count-up of this year's 43 songs in order of quality, from worst to best, according to me. Don't worry, it was always part of the plan to have a break. There was rather a lot of real life to fit in last week, but now I've finished work for a fortnight, with only a stag weekend and some flights to Zurich and Belgrade to get in the way.

So, number 30. There are no countries I'd like to win Eurovision more than Portugal and Iceland, simply because, like Finland, they've been plugging away at it for years and everyone deserves their turn. More of Iceland much further up, but some people think this is Portugal's best chance in years of doing well. She hasn't rehearsed yet - she'll be the last one to do so very soon, but chances are good, mainly because they were unlucky 11th in last year's qualifier, this song is much better and they're on last in semi-final 2. Despite all that, I just don't get it, and I think she looks as frightening as the Lithuanian man, so it languishes at #30 in my count-up. There's also the uncomfortable truth that it's in Portuguese, which is never going to endear itself to the lugholes of the wider audience until Brazil enters the contest. Sorry, but it's true.

[Clears throat.]

One thing's for sure though...

[A hushed silence falls, in anticipation of a much-rehearsed, truly appalling joke.]

In the second semi-final, the show really won't be over until the fat lady sings.

[Chig hangs head in shame. Exeunt.]

Portugal - 'Senhora do mar' (Monster Pirates Woman Of The Sea) - Vânia Fernandes

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