...or 'attempts' at Eurovision.

(Yes, it's World Of Chig's inaugural YouTube special!)

Saturdays seem to be Eurovision has-been day on the TV now. How many people noticed the last auditionee on the X-Factor this weekend?



This is Kerry out of Kerry and Do-Re-Mi, who came very close in 1997 to being the funniest and rudest Eurovision entry that the UK has ever had, with their wonderfully stupid 'A Yodel In The Canyon Of Love':



If only Kerry hadn't had the misfortune in the Great British Song Contest (as it was called that year) to come up against one of the strongest entries we've ever had, from Katrina & The Waves, which went on to be the UK's most recent Eurovision winner, Kerry would have been at Eurovision in Dublin. Just look how close it was.

Download or listen to A Yodel In The Canyon Of Love here. This is the whole two minutes and forty seconds, not the abridged version that was available at the time on the Great British Song Contest sampler CD. Cherish its tacky gloriousness now - it won't be here for ever!

It has been claimed by some smutty people that 'A Yodel In The Canyon Of Love' is a euphemism for a sexual act that sounds a bit like an Irish airline. We're far too prudish to mention such dirty things on here. Much was made in 1997 of Kerry being a wheelchair user. As she explained on The X-Factor, she fell out of a tree at the age of 13 and broke her back. Ouch. She's now 31 and she has a good voice. She was successful in the audition, so we'll be seeing her again, in the boot camp stage.

One person on a Eurovision mailing list to which I belong declared that it couldn't possibly be the same Kerry, because he'd never seen anyone in a wheelchair in the UK's national final. We clearly have a long way to go in educating people about disability. Does he think that people who use wheelchairs for mobility actually spend all their waking (and sleeping) hours in their wheelchairs? How does he think they wash, sleep and go to the toilet? It doesn't occur to him that a disabled singer might actually be able to shuffle into a different chair for a TV appearance. That's why the phrase 'confined to a wheelchair' makes me shudder. No one is confined to a wheelchair. A friend of mine who uses a wheelchair for mobility and is only around three feet tall due to being born with brittle bones, actually drives a car. Rant over. Anyway, wasn't I talking about Eurovision?

Ah yes.

Kerry's appearance is nothing compared to last Saturday, when I saw not one, not two, but three other people with Eurovision links on my telly. The boyband Avenue's story was all over the tabloids last weekend, as they'd broken the rules by having a management deal already. The situation is even more complicated than that. They're now saying that they've left the management company, but it's not clear whether or not they made it to boot camp, or if we will see them again. It'lll be a shame if we don't, because the main singer in the group is one Mr Jamie Tinkler, most recently in the charts as a quarter of Pete Waterman's three-hit-wonders Pop! This once led Jamie to share his chips backstage with me after one of their PAs at the Nightingale, which I'm sure was one of the highlights of his career. He was lovely (and so were the chips), so I'd like to see him have more success. He's now in trouble himself though, as he apparently had a solo deal too, with Simon Cowell, of all people! Watch Simon's face as Avenue walk into the audition, and then notice that he says, "I don't get it" after they sing. It all makes sense now...



Before he was in Pop!, Jamie was, like Kerry, also one of our Eurovision contenders. In 2002 he was an entrant, under the name Level Best, in the penultimate A Song For Europe, with a song called Every Step Of The Way. He, like the other two acts, was trounced by the vocal brilliance (and post-Pop Idol fame) of Jessica Garlick. He came a poor third, but never mind. Ironically, Jamie also made the last 50 of Pop Idol. It will be interesting to see if Avenue grace our screens again. In the meantime, here are some pictures of Jamie:



L-R: Jamie in 2004, taken from his (seemingly now defunct) own website, playing a charity football match, on a Pop! CD cover and with the rest of the group. (Ah, there he is! Bleedin' MySpace, of course!)

Now then, the links continue. The other bloke in Pop! with Jamie was of course Glenn Ball, who this year danced with the Turkish entry Sibel Tuzun at Eurovision:



Here's a pic I took in Athens of the 'Turkish' dancers, who were actually all British-based:



Glenn is on the right, and the guy next to him is Arthur, who now appears as one of the dancing waiters in the superb new Basement Jaxx video, Hush Boy. Here it is. There are very clear shots of Arthur at 01:45 and 02:05.



Also last Saturday, on How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria? (but not in last night's final, which won me about four pounds - well done Connie), was dancer David. He was one of Russia's British dancers at Eurovision 2000, famously referred to as 'big girls' blouses' by Wogan. Quite rightly, as it turned out, but that's where this line of discussion has to end, for legal reasons.

So, Eurovision, or trying for Eurovision, needn't necessarily mean the end of your career!


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