12.8.06
“David, you have been evicted. Please leave the England squad!
David, you have been evicted. Please leave the England squad!”
An Ode To Becks
By John Chigley (Poet In Residence at Chig Mansions).
Oh David Beckham, we are sad.
You’ve left the England squad.
They took your captain’s armband off,
And gave it to a yob.
(Although, to be fair, that John Terry,
He is quite a hunk.
The King of Shaves in TV ads,
He makes me shoot my…penalties.)
David, you came from Leytonstone,
So you’re a real Eastender.
Your voice is high, so some people
Think you might be a bender.
You creamed yourself over Spiceworld
And said you’d like to meet
The skinny one in the black dress
And never let her eat.
You’ve had three boys with her so far,
Gave each a stupid name;
The Bronx, Juliet and Cruz, which is
A name for girls – the shame!
You fumbled with Rebecca Loos,
We thought you were a loony.
We heard she’d wanked a real pig,
And thought that it was Rooney
But Becks, oh yes, we loved you lots,
Except in ‘98.
Sent off! You Argie-kicking fool!
The object of our hate.
But we forgave you later on,
When you did shave your head.
Posed for Arena Homme Plus mag,
By writhing on a bed.
You were the god of our free kicks,
A wizard on the grass,
And in this shoot, it looked as if,
You’d take it up the arse.
You challenged England’s view of men,
By wearing a sarong.
You even wore pink nail varnish,
Though some did think it wrong.
But now they’ve gone and kicked you out,
Of the new England squad.
Brand Beckham needs a miracle,
Much like the Hand Of God.
So, gorgeous, sexy, Becksy man,
We’ll shed a little tear,
That no more England games we’ll watch,
Hoping you might be queer.
But David Beckham, don’t be sad,
That En-Ger-Land’s no more,
Come round and visit Chig sometime,
And he’ll make sure you score.
But make it quick, for even though
We may still get you back
Chig’s heart has gone to a new beau;
Fredéric Michalak
The End (of a career).
(Spooky! This was written last night. Little did we know what Diamond Geezer was going to do today, inspired by the same news story. We are slightly freaked out by this coincidence.)
· link
Eurovision 2011
Düsseldorf, Germany
10th, 12th, 14th May
Eurovision 2008
Semi-Final 1 – Tue 20 May
01 Montenegro - Zauvijek volim te – Stefan Filipović
02 Israel – The Fire In Your Eyes (Ke’ilo Kan) – Bo'az Ma'uda
03 Estonia – Leto Svet – Kreisiraadio
04 Moldova – A Century Of Love – Geta Burlacu
05 San Marino - Complice - Miodio
06 Belgium - O Julissi - Ishtar
07 Azerbaijan – Day After Day – Elnur Hüseynov & Samir Javadzadeh
08 Slovenia – Vrag Naj Vzame – Rebeka Dremelj
09 Norway – Hold On, Be Strong – Maria Haukaas Storeng
10 Poland – For Life – Isis Gee
11 Ireland – Irelande, Douze Pointe – Dustin The Turkey
12 Andorra – Casanova – Gisela
13 Bosnia-Herzegovina – Pokušaj – Laka
14 Armenia – Qele Qele – Sirusho
15 Netherlands – Your Heart Belongs To Me – Hind
16 Finland - Missä miehet ratsastaa – Teräsbetoni
17 Romania – Pe-o Margine de Lume – Nico & Vlad Mirita
18 Russia - Dima Bilan - Believe
19 Greece – Secret Combination – Kalomira
Semi-Final 2 – Thu 22 May
01 Iceland – This Is My Life – Eurobandið
02 Sweden - Hero - Charlotte Perrelli
03 Turkey – Deli – Mor ve Ötesi
04 Ukraine – Shady Lady – Ani Lorak
05 Lithuania – Nomads In The Night – Jeronimas Milius
06 Albania – Zemrën e lamë peng – Olta Boka
07 Switzerland – Era Stupendo – Paolo Meneguzzi
08 Czech Republic – Have Some Fun – Tereza Kerndlová
09 Belarus – Hasta La Vista – Ruslan Alekhno
10 Latvia – Wolves Of The Sea – Pirates Of The Sea
11 Croatia – Romanca – Kraljevi Ulice & 75 Cents
12 Bulgaria – DJ, Take Me Away – Deep Zone & Balthazar
13 Denmark – All Night Long – Simon Mathew
14 Georgia – Peace Will Come – Diana Gurtskaya
15 Hungary – Candlelight – Csézy
16 Malta – Vodka - Morena
17 Cyprus – Femme Fatale – Evdokia Kadi
18 FYR Macedonia – Let Me Love You – Tamara, Vrčak & Adrian
19 Portugal - Senhora do Mar (Negras Águas) - Vânia Fernandes
Final – Sat 24 May
02 United Kingdom – Even If – Andy Abraham
04 Germany – Disappear – No Angels
19 France – Divine – Sébastien Tellier
22 Spain - Baila el Chiki Chiki - Rodolfo Chikilicuatre
23 Serbia - Oro - Jelena Tomašević ft. Bora Dugić
Chig's Gigs & stuff 2007-2008
Coming Up:
11/12 Steel City Tour: ABC, Heaven 17, The Human League - Wolves Civic
Gone Down:
21/01 Sing Live! - B'ham Symphony Hall
05/02 Mika - Berkeley Square, London
13/02 Shayne Ward - Nott'm Arena
21/02 X Factor - Nott'm Arena
04/05 Scooch-Nightingale, B'ham
12/05 Hosting Eurovision night @ The Nightingale
17/05 Jason Donovan-Nott'm Royal Concert Hall
25/05 Pet Shop Boys - Wolves Civic
26/05 Liberty X - Nightingale, B'ham
27/05 Scooch & Björn Again - B'ham Pride
16/06 Muse, The Streets, Dirty Pretty Things, Rodrigo y Gabriela & Zane Lowe - Wembley Stadium
28/06 Brotherhood of Man & Buck's Fizz - Nott'm Royal Concert Hall
14/07 Sing Live! - Summer in the '60s & '70s - Royal Leamington Spa Centre
14/09 Rise - Leek Wootton Village Hall
16/09 Erasure & Onetwo - Wolves Civic
17/09 The Twang & The Priory - B'ham Carling Academy 2 (private gig - Janice Long's Radio2 show)
20/09 Turisas & Abgott - B'ham Carling Academy 2
27/09 McFly - Wolves Civic
10/11 Buck's Fizz & Futureproof (The X Factor), Nightingale, B'ham
17/11 Vengaboys & Andy Williams (The X Factor) - Nightingale, B'ham
01/12 The Human League plays Dare! - Hammersmith Apollo
10/03 Gary Numan Replicas Tour & Daggers - Wolves Wulfrun
15/03 David Gray - Symphony Hall, Brum
18/03 Russell Howard, Alexandra, Brum
20+22+24/05 Eurovision Song Contest, Beograd, Srbija
10/06 Eurobeat-Almost Eurovision, B'ham Hippodrome
12/06 Yazoo - Wolves Civic
14/06-16/06 Bingham Cup, DCU, Dublin
24/06 Westlife & Hope - Nottingham Arena
07/07 Duran Duran & The Duke Spirit - NIA, B'ham
01/08 kd lang - Symphony Hall, B'ham
Coming Up:
11/12 Steel City Tour: ABC, Heaven 17, The Human League - Wolves Civic
Gone Down:
21/01 Sing Live! - B'ham Symphony Hall
05/02 Mika - Berkeley Square, London
13/02 Shayne Ward - Nott'm Arena
21/02 X Factor - Nott'm Arena
04/05 Scooch-Nightingale, B'ham
12/05 Hosting Eurovision night @ The Nightingale
17/05 Jason Donovan-Nott'm Royal Concert Hall
25/05 Pet Shop Boys - Wolves Civic
26/05 Liberty X - Nightingale, B'ham
27/05 Scooch & Björn Again - B'ham Pride
16/06 Muse, The Streets, Dirty Pretty Things, Rodrigo y Gabriela & Zane Lowe - Wembley Stadium
28/06 Brotherhood of Man & Buck's Fizz - Nott'm Royal Concert Hall
14/07 Sing Live! - Summer in the '60s & '70s - Royal Leamington Spa Centre
14/09 Rise - Leek Wootton Village Hall
16/09 Erasure & Onetwo - Wolves Civic
17/09 The Twang & The Priory - B'ham Carling Academy 2 (private gig - Janice Long's Radio2 show)
20/09 Turisas & Abgott - B'ham Carling Academy 2
27/09 McFly - Wolves Civic
10/11 Buck's Fizz & Futureproof (The X Factor), Nightingale, B'ham
17/11 Vengaboys & Andy Williams (The X Factor) - Nightingale, B'ham
01/12 The Human League plays Dare! - Hammersmith Apollo
10/03 Gary Numan Replicas Tour & Daggers - Wolves Wulfrun
18/03 Russell Howard, Alexandra, Brum
20+22+24/05 Eurovision Song Contest, Beograd, Srbija
10/06 Eurobeat-Almost Eurovision, B'ham Hippodrome
12/06 Yazoo - Wolves Civic
14/06-16/06 Bingham Cup, DCU, Dublin
24/06 Westlife & Hope - Nottingham Arena
07/07 Duran Duran & The Duke Spirit - NIA, B'ham
01/08 kd lang - Symphony Hall, B'ham
Who is Chig?
Contact me: chig at cmdh dot freeserve dot co dot uk
My Wish List
Front page
Archive
RSS feed
Chig is Nicki French's official stalker...but she doesn't seem to mind.
Chig's life can sometimes be a right pain in the balls...
Chig watches...
Dogtown, The Amazing Mrs Pritchard, Robin Hood, The X Factor, Spooks, Extras, Mock The Week, Popworld, Ideal, Deal Or No Deal, Eggheads, Hollyoaks, Never Mind The Full Stops, Doctor Who series 2 repeats on BBC3, The Bill, Match Of The Day, Ant'n'Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway.
Chig has failed at two attempts to watch the whole series of Invasion, so if you have it on DVD...
Chig still fancies Jesse Metcalfe...
...and Brandon Flowers, Roman Sebrle, Jonas Armstrong, Matthew Fox, Stefan Booth, Stuart Manning, Gary Lucy...
49= 49= 48 46= 46= 45 44 43 40= 40= 40= 39 38 37 36 35 33= 33= 31= 31= 30 29 28 27 26 25 24 23 22 21 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Where I live:
Birmingham: It's Not Shit
icBirmingham
BBC Birmingham
The Nightingale
Club DV8
Interests:
Flickr
gaytimes
Popjustice
The Official Charts Co.
Launch (UK charts)
British Hit Singles
Aston Villa FC
GFSN
Eurovision 2006
Eurovision 2005 in Kyiv
Popjustice Eurovision
Friends Reunited
Mr Gay UK
Eurovision 2007:
Official EBU Eurovision
Helsinki 2007 Official
DotEurovision (News)
ESC Today (News)
Eurovision Songs
OGAE Malta
Norway: Melodi Grand Prix
AsianMissionToEurovision(Blog)
Eurovision 2007 acts:
Qualifier:
Albania: Aida & Frederik Ndoci
Andorra: Anonymous
Austria: Eric Papilaya
Belarus: Dima Koldun
Belgium: The KMGs
Bulgaria: Elitsa Todorova & Stoyan Yankulov
Croatia: Dragonfly ft. Dado Topić
Czech Republic: Kabát
Cyprus: Evridiki
Denmark: DQ
Estonia: Gerli Padar
Georgia: Sopho Khalvashi
Hungary: Magdi Rúzsa
Iceland: Eiríkur Hauksson
Israel: Teapacks
Latvia: bonaparti.lv
FYR Macedonia: Karolina Gočeva
Malta: Olivia Lewis
Moldova: Natalia Barbu
Montenegro: Stevan Faddy
Netherlands: Edsilia Rombley
Norway: Guri Schanke
Poland: The Jet Set
Portugal: Sabrina
Serbia: Marija Šerifović
Slovenia: Alenka Gotar
Switzerland: DJ Bobo
Turkey: Kenan Doğulu
Final:
Armenia: Hayko
Bosnia-Herzegovina: Marija Šestić
Finland: Hanna Pakarinen
France: Les Fatals Picards
Germany: Roger Cicero
Greece: Sarbel
Ireland: Dervish
Lithuania: 4Fun
Romania: Todomondo
Russia: Serebro
Spain: NASH
Sweden: The Ark
Ukraine: Verka Serduchka
UK MYMU entrants
Big Brovaz
Brian Harvey
Cyndi
Hawkins & Brown
Liz McClarnon
Scooch(!)
Artists:
Prata Vetra (Brainstorm)
Marc Almond
Pet Shop Boys
Scissor Sisters
Family history:
Chig is directly descended from the following families. If you have one of these surnames, we're possibly related, so feel free to get in touch: Crowe, Harborne/Harbourne, Higgins, Hutchins, O'Sullivan/Sullivan, Talliss/Tallis.
Above: My Gran with her Gran. Snitterfield, Warwickshire, c.1930.
Shameless exhibitionism:
Chig's January 1999 Gay Times article, behind the scenes filming 'Queer As Folk'
People we know:
After The Boyf
B-Boy Blues
Bitful
Daren & Justin
David Belbin
Glenn Ball
I'm Hip To You
Loobynet
Melodimen
Over Your Head
Poplicious
Quarter Hours
Reluctant Nomad
Schlagerboys
Simon & The City
Thoughts From Fish Island
Troubled Diva
Other people we like:
AceDiscoVery
Come Into My World
Club Contact
Following Adam
Diamond Geezer
My Ace Life
Naked Blog
TheSnowInTheSummerOrSo-So
Welshcake
Zbornak
Archives:
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December 2008
November 2008
October 2008
September 2008
August 2008
July 2008
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December 2007
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