Mistakes an' all! And why not? The webstream is a good size and the sound quality is perfect. Thank you Denmark!

Song 1
En Som Dig - Soren Poppe and Lene Matthiesen Norrelykke
Understandable why it's the favourite, even though none of these have been heard in public yet. Very polished, very poppy, but quite dull. He's very tall, or she's very short. They've nicked at least one of Jakob Sveistrup's backing singers from last year - the cute one with the beard.

Song 2
Heaven (Ease Your Troubled Mind) - David Mader
Billy Joel-type man at piano, but with women dancing (shuffling) for no real reason. Dull song. Forgotten it already, even though it was in English.

Song 3
Je Ne Regrette Rien - Neighbours
Fast and folky. We've had Friends in Eurovision (for Sweden), so why not Neighbours? Will come about third.

Song 4
Twist Of Love - Sidsel Ben Semmane
Promising intro. It's about a man called Johnny, who doesn't know how to twist. Cowboy hats. White jeans tucked into boots. So NOT a good look.

Oh bugger. The webstream's stalled. It's rebuffering...

[One minute later] It's back! Phew! But I missed half of that song.

Song 5
Ta' Hjertet Med - Claus Hasfeldt
It's the Has! Mr Hasfeldt does bear a slight resemblance to the Hoff as well.
[30 seconds in...] Oh honestly! The webstream stays up while the comedians are on between the songs and then it fails again 30 seconds into the performance! Well it was sounding pleasant but mundane and that's all I can say, except that the backing singers are possibly ALL of Jakob's from last year, for every act that needs them.

Song 6
Sode Gys - Jorgen Thorup
He is Bono crossed with Vic Reeves, from the intro film. No, more Elvis Costello on stage, except that I don't like this much. Plodding rock-lite. The picture froze again, but came back just in time for a screeching rawk guitar moment. No.

Song 7
Ah Amore - Kim Schwartz
He's released six albums. I understood a whole sentence in Danish!
Weird - the webstream picture has now gone upside-down, and GREEN! It's back!
Quite like this. It has the words tango, fandango, cappuccino and, er, 'sicky-ay-ay-oh' in it. What godforsaken language is this? Ooh, there's a male opera singer at the end. This is good.

Song 8
Make This Night Forever - Kristine Blond
Luckily, given her surname, she is blonde. And wearing a white dress. Promising intro, but her voice is a teensy-weensy bit nasal...and now it's a bit Mariah Carey, which is never a good thing in my book. However, the song builds nicely. Ultimately, pleasant but no winner.

Song 9
Grib Mig - Trine Jepsen and Christian Bach
It's the often seen 'Scandinavian male/female duo with him in a white suit' act. Only she's in black this time. Quite good. Has a word which sounds like 'fella' in it quite a lot. Overly camp backing dancers. Good. Could cope with this one winning; not bad at all.

Last postcard now, and they've made all of these acts film their intro pieces outside in the freezing cold. They all have red noses!

Song 10
2 in 1 - Danni Elmo
The offical pictures led me to believe they might be saving the totty to the end, but no. There is no totty in a lead role tonight. This is like James Fox's effort. Earnest, sung by bloke with guitar, quiet verse and slightly rousing chorus, but THIS Elmo has no fire. Ha, ha! What a brilliant joke! May be a grower.

Chig's recommendation, having now seen the reprise:
Yes Denmark, go for the safe option and song number one if you must. It's good enough, but choose the twisting woman* or Ah Amore if you want to stand out.

Green room bit now, with some painful silences.

TRIVIA FACT: The Danish for 'green room' is 'green room'.

The old man from the folky group is now singing what appears to be a drinking song. Everyone's singing along.

The hosts are now wandering down a corridor and have found some children locked in a cupboard. Is this legal in Denmark?

Now they're finding people in every room, singing Jakob's song from last year.
And now we're.....backintheroom! The crowd sing along to last year's entry, plus all this year's entrants singing a line (rather than taking a line) in the Green Room, and some members of the public on film, Actually, this is really good fun!

Backintheroom! (Again!) And Jakob is here, of course, carrying on the song. He's so lovely. We had a good chat last year at the Kyiv opening party, because we've both worked in schools for children with learning difficulties. We had a bonding moment.

I hate it when this happens! Jakob Sveistrup is now doing the interval act with a song which is probably called 'Writing The Book Of Love'. Guess what? This is miles better than all ten of the other songs we've just heard. It helps that he has a full gospel choir, which would break the six person rule in Athens, but still. Excellent performance. Is he still teaching?

A very excited old man has just run on stage with a red envelope. It's song 10! By which I surmise that we are now in 'super final' territory, so we're going to get a few songs performed again.

Danni Elmo performs song 10 again, and already it sounds better, if a little repetitive.

The second song through to the super final is Song 4, Twist Of Love by Sidsel Ben Semmane. Good, I got to hear it all the way through this time with no webstream crash. It's fun.

My friend Rich has just told me there are five songs in this super final. That's not a super final, it's half the programme again. It's 20:40 and I haven't eaten yet! Get a move on Denmark!

The next two songs through are Neighbours (which I said would be about third, so we're within two places already) and Soren and Lene, predictably.

Oh good, the last one through is Ah Amore. Shicky ay-ay-oh indeed! Rich just said this song is ridiculous. I agree and that's why it is now my joint favourite. Denmark has suffered enough lately. They could do with a laugh.

More voting now, so another interval act. I have no idea what's going on. Briefly, some dancing, then a fat man in a dinner suit, talking, then a DJ who does some bodypopping and now some dancers with crates. The penguin man is talking. He must be very funny. The audience loves him.

Now there's a circus on stage. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

The fat man is now doing magic tricks with Martini bottles. Blatant product placement. You don't get this on the BBC. Then again we haven't had Seaside Special for a generation on the BBC either, but that's what this act is like.

Thank goodness for that. He's gone.

And now there's a film about cows. Really. I wonder if Mahlene will be on.
Turkeys now. No, nor me.

And we're backintheroom! The hosts introduce Anders Astrup Jensen, because the televoters must have made the wrong decision and DR (Danish TV) are giving them extra time to put it right. Mr Jensen turns out to be one of those people who is half way up to the ceiling on a long piece of material, wrapping himself up in it and rolling around but not sliding off, while someone plays tinkly piano. On the plus side, he is muscular and topless, but really... Get on with the results!

And it's all over in a flash! They don't mess around with spokespeople, thank goodness. The hosts read out the results. The twisting cowboy song gets max points from all four regions, so we have a clear winner. I blame Brokeback Mountain. The problem is that one of my favourites in the UK selection also has a line dance/Shania Twain feel to it, so this is unhealthy competition.

Well, Denmark has decided to go for the light-hearted option, and we don't think there's been a twist song in Eurovision before, so it will really stand out. It's not awful and it's very catchy. Who knows how this will do? At least they're directly into the final and don't have the Thursday qualifier to worry about.

The moment the credits rolled, DR turned our sound off, the buggers! We still have the webcast pictures though, even though the programme has finished for Danish TV viewers.

The webcam is now showing a wall.

And now, at 21:36, they've also turned off the picture. This is the winner: Twist Of Love, performed by Sidsel Ben Semmane. Goodnight Danmark! Goodnight Europe! Goodnight James and Rich on MSN Messenger! This was fun. We must do it again some time.

*The nation listened.


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