World of Chig   

11.8.05

Don’t, on any account, gather the survivors together to have a meeting. That would be far too sensible.

Let the fattest person be in charge of gathering together what little remaining food there is.

Make sure that the hunkiest survivor possesses a white t-shirt. At the first sign of a tropical rainstorm, he must get soaked while wearing it. Prior to this, he could even be completely shirtless.

If, in the relative safety of the plane’s cockpit, one of your number is plucked from you, as if by a huge monster, it’s probably best to run outside into the unprotected open jungle, rather than stay in the safe place.

In that respect, it’s probably best if none of the survivors has ever seen Jurassic Park.

If there is a token English person on the island, he must be slightly ‘odd’, by virtue of being English.

Next week: The survivors look for a conch.


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