World of Chig   

1.5.05


Chig at Villa Park (c)Chig 2005, Frank Lampard et al today (c)BBC 2005, Joe Cole, Burton model.


"So, Chelsea win the Premiership title as expected and there'll be dancing in the King's Road tonight. But how is this first victory in half a century being celebrated outside of London? Let's go now to the West Midlands, where our football correspondent Chig reports live from that board with all the sponsors' names on, at the home of football, Villa Park."


"Thanks Gary. Sadly, I've turned up here at Villa Park when there's no one else around, as Villa aren't playing a game today. So there's no one to speak to, but I would just like to offer my sincere congratulations to Chelsea. I'd also like to say how pleased I am for my ex-boyfriend, who's a season ticket holder at Stamford Bridge. I know he must be absolutely ecstatic to experience this for the first time in his life."


"Yes, and I understand he isn't replying to your text messages?"


"That's right Gary, I think he's pissed."


"Er, thank you Chig. Chig there, from Villa Park. Alan, this just proves that money can buy you the Premiership title, doesn't it?"


"Are we off air? Phew, thank God I didn't say anything about wanting to shag Frank Lampard and Joe Cole - that would have been really embarrassing."


"Sorry Alan, just a moment. Chig, your mic's still on."


"Sorry Gary."


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