World of Chig   

21.8.03

2. Why do you like Westlife? (I've been wanting to ask you this for ages.)

There’s a presumption in the question here, isn’t there? You don’t get me that easy. I’ve spotted it. I mean, have I ever gone around saying ‘I like Westlife’, either in person or on here? Do you think that I, a 37 year-old homosexual male, would admit something like that in the face of an overwhelming fan base of teenage, heterosexual girls? I mean, the embarrassment. How uncool.

Oh, alright then, I do. I like them first of all because they proved from the outset that they can all sing live. So many other ‘vocal harmony groups’ can’t even do that, that this merits a mention. Secondly, I fancied four of them at the start – all except Bryan, paying particular attention, depending on haircuts at the time, to Shane and then Mark. Thirdly, they’re Irish, which always helps. Fourthly, there must be something in the songs. You’d have to get a musicologist to explain it, but there was something about their formulaic ballads, with their ‘stand up off the bar stool / big drum crash / key change’ moments, which just had me hooked every time. Fifthly, the way they were marketed; always two CDs for every single release, always new photoshoots for each sleeve, and some excellent videos. Also, their albums are superb value for money – there are so many tracks on them. They’ve always managed to avoid being horrendously over-exposed too, I think. In fact, they seem to be taking quite a break right now, so it will be interesting to see if they can claim that one more number one they need to equal The Shadows at fourth in the all-time number ones list, or three more to equal Cliff in third place.

But it’s a personal thing, and I don’t expect anyone to join me. They are of course, pretty boy pop by numbers which even your Granny can like, but that, in my book, doesn’t make them bad people.

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