Chig’s Choon (last week)

Year 3000 – Busted
Oh yes, we do perky, proto-punky pop too on World Of Chig. We’re not proud. And besides, the video’s fab. It was a tough choice this week, with several good singles, but no absolutely brilliant ones. Sorry David, you’ll be number one, but ‘Stop Living The Lie’, although undoubtedly catchy, sounds like schoolboy poetry set to music. Which it is. And no record which rhymes ‘believe’ with ‘sleeve’ can be Chig’s Choon, I’m afraid. You’ll release better singles than this. Feeder: good, but not brilliant. Layo & Bushwacka: a nice idea, doing a ‘Toca’s Miracle’ to your own tune by adding another dance hit (Kings Of Tomorrow’s ‘ Finally’) over the top, but I bought you last year – I’m not falling for it again.

Which leaves us with Charlie and chums. Busted are public school pop, and very nice boys, attempting to depose the ‘sink estate’, club-fighting trash that is Girls Aloud. It’s class war! We tried to resist the charms of ‘That’s What I Go To School For’, but failed, and it’s the same with this one. Just a few comments about this one though boys. I’m quite prepared to accept that, in a thousand years, we’ll live underwater – surely just a logical brand extension for Center Parcs. I’m even prepared to believe that women will have three breasts, as in the video. Marky Mark already has three nipples, and who knows where evolution will take us in the next 997 years. However, I’m not quite prepared to believe that only five generations have passed between now and the year 3000, unless life expectancy shoots up at an incredible rate in the coming years. Even assuming women gave birth at an average age of 25, you’d be meeting the ‘great-great-great-granddaughter’ in just over 100 years’ time, not 1,000. We know what you went to your posh school for, and it wasn’t maths lessons, was it boys?

Still, you were right about one thing. You won’t even have to wait for your seventh album to outsell Michael Jackson. It looks like your first one will do it anyway, as ‘Busted’ pogoes its way up from #20 to #5 this week. It’s already spent more weeks in the Top 75 than Jacko’s last effort did.

Pointless prediction: #3
Actual chart entry position: #2 (one place higher than their debut single, as the council chicks slide a little quicker than expected).

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