Trash TV Titbits

I would just like to point out that, despite shameless TV whoring in the past, I am NOT featured in 'The Campest Men In Britain' on ITV1 tonight. At least, not as far as I know. Besides, I don't need to be on TV myself, when 'people I used to know' keep cropping up on the box all the time. Last week's Perfect Match had gorgeous Graham being eulogised by the panel, before being dismissed by them for being "too fit". You're not bloody kidding! He used to work at a comedy club across the road from my previous workplace, and the nearest I ever got was chatting to him in the sandwich bar of a lunchtime. He was impervious to my charms. Seeing him on TV last week, with the relationship experts going "but he is gorgeous" and the subject of the programme ALMOST picking him for the Amsterdam trip, I found myself muttering at the TV, "yes, yes, we know he's gorgeous, now get him off the screen before everyone realises. I saw him first..."
And now I find myself watching Celebrity Survivor (AKA the snappily-titled 'I'm A Celebrity - Get Me Out Of Here!'), primarily to follow the adventures of Rhona Cameron, who I used to see an awful lot on the comedy circuit in her early days, and later several times at Edinburgh Festivals. She's not having a good time. And Uri Geller is psychoanalysing her behind her back too. Rhona has never been one for keeping her opinions to herself, bless her, but if the slebs think she's mouthy now, they should thank their lucky stars that she hasn't been allowed near alcohol. Tonight, she has to be buried alive. She almost puked up when they told her about it. It could be an ordeal.

I have to confess, I have also been watching Britain's Sexiest, presented by the surprisingly good Kerry Chipshop Kitten Katona McFadden, and the surprisingly wooden Michael Greco. I gawp in incredulity at the tastes of the British public, as so far they have chosen Britain's most gormless fitness instructor, Britain's scrawniest male cabin crew and, er, yes, Britain's sexiest teacher. (He was absolutely bloomin' PHWOARSOME!) Oh, there were some women involved too. It's clear that the whole shebang is biased in favour of the firefighters, who appear in Saturday's heat, when the TV audience will be much bigger, giving them a helping hand to win the overall final on Sunday. Besides, aren't all firefighters, male and female, who don't look like the back end of a bus Simon snorkel engine, already used to performing for the cameras, because of their modelling work? Having said that, the preview of tonight's five builders all appeared to be fine specimens of the genre, but the film clips can be deceptive. We'll see. That's IF I'm watching, of course. I'm sure I will have something better to do (he lied).

Finally, just to clarify, tonight's The Campest Men In Britain is NOT a repeat of last night's Britain's Sexiest Airline Staff. You could be forgiven for thinking they were the same programme.
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