Catching up with Big Brother

If I have any regret at all about going to Tallinn, it is a very tiddly one of no major significance; missing the start of Big Brother. It's a very small regret indeed, compared to the absolute joy of having been in Estonia. I presume that there was some introductory programme on Friday, showing the housemates in the real world, before they went in? Could anyone copy it for me? I would pay.

So, I thought I'd find out all about the new inmates yesterday evening from the internet, but no. The website isn't working all evening. So 10pm last night on TV is my first sight of the captives, and it looks like the popbitch leak (below, 23/05) was pretty accurate, although I didn't spot a prosthetic limb anywhere. It also feels like they all know each other but I don't. It's like going to a friend's house and finding out all your other friends are having a party there, but they didn't invite you. So, as I press my nose up to the steamy window of the new house (surely a mistake for C4 to deck it out in the new BBC One colour scheme?), I only have one thirty minute programme and Graham Norton's bitching afterwards from which to make my first impressions. But here they are:
Adele: Made no impression.
Alex: Trendy hair. Trendy trews. Perhaps fanciable, but not sure about the accent. Is he gay?
Alison: Large woman. Seems friendly.
Jade: This year's Helen? Too much wobbly flesh on display. Face like a pig. I haven't yet seen why Graham Norton thinks she's so annoying though. What has she done?
Jonny: Gaunt face. Is he a Geordie? And a veggie? If so, he's okay by me.
Kate: Attractive, but made no impression.
Lee: PHWOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!! What a body! Take me, take me now!! And I've just read that he's only 22. I can hardly believe that. Didn't speak though, in last night's edit, other than to ask a question about cake. Seems remote from the group already. Is he gay?
Lynne: Big teeth, big smile.
PJ: Potentially horny skinhead. Is he gay?
Sandy: Frank Carson has been allowed in. Seems entertaining though, and I'm glad there's an age mix. Hope he's not gay.
Spencer: CUUUUUUUUTIE! Very snoggable indeed. Then Graham puts me off by implying he's a psycho. What have I missed? He looks adorable. Is he gay?
Sunita: Sensible. For not taking part in that sexual positions game. This year's Elizabeth/mother hen?

My claim to fame: I know the sister of one of this year's new Big Brother psychologists. He sounds like quite a hippy....

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