Videos which didn't change my opinion one way or the other:

Cyprus - They've ditched the leathers (temporarily, I hope) and gone for a split screen live/studio effect. This relies so much on the visuals to sell it, and when I shut my eyes I have to admit it's a fairly 'one level' song which doesn't go anywhere. However, its sheer repetitiveness may mean people remember it more, and being shown last in the reprise should help a lot. And two of them ARE really horny, which may count for something.(And on one of the others, there's a revival of the Paul King hairdo, circa 'Love And Pride' 1985.)

Greece - "Oy, Michalis, we need a video for those people at the EBU. That mate of yours who messes around with his digital camcorder, do you think he could add some effects to your live performance? We can't spend any money on it though - all the budget went on your leather gear. Just get him to put some squiggles on the picture. Maybe some words so that people realise you're singing in English? Maybe explain what the song means? No, scrap that last idea, cos you haven't a clue, have you? What? A woman made of liquid mercury? Because it'll look like the ancient film Metropolis? Why? Okay mate, if you insist, it's your video. What do you think he'll charge for that? Bottle of Ouzo? Done."

FYR of Macedonia - Oh lordy! The 80s are well and truly back! No, not in the form of that dress from the FYROM final, but the other costumes, the video effects, and the black lipstick. If you remember 'Nice video, shame about the song' from Not The Nine O'Clock News, you'll have a good chuckle over the start of this. Not that the song is bad - it just seems to be existing in a parallel universe to all the other entries. If they can make it look a bit more modern on the night, it should get a respectable mid-table result.

Bosnia & Herzegovina - This is the unremarkable live video, with a better, studio version dubbed over the top, and it works. It still sounds like old-fashioned rock guitar to me, but I suspect that will be popular for the same reasons as Belgium, perhaps with the same people.

Belgium - I still think it will win, and this live performance shows how powerfully he can belt it out. This will set the Suurhall on fire, unfortunately, especially if he does a cartwheel, as in the video. It's the finest pub rock, with an appeal that spans different age groups. It's the 'lowest common denominator' song, just like the last two ESC winners, so I see no reason why it won't do so again. The video's not much good, but it doesn't NEED to be.

France - Surely they've cheated here? How long is this video? How are they getting away with this? Disqualify them now!

Turkey - Ah, the tourist board video. Look! He's giving her flowers, as if he's heterosexual! Hilarious. Actually, I love this song, but I know that in the UK it will cause much laughter in front of the nation's TVs. When they do the 'babadadababadaba' bit, drunken people across the country will be rolling around in hysterics and reminiscing about the Swingle Singers. (Ask your Mum.) They also pay homage to Abba's (and Erasure's) Take A Chance On Me video. You know which bit I mean!

Romania - Just as bad now as it was sounded without the visuals. If I have to be nice about it, I would say that their voices complement each other well. A bright, white studio and some vocal histrionics cannot make a silk purse out of this sow's ear though. Hardly any points here. Goodbye.

Slovenia - There's no 'oomph' (energy and enthusiasm) in their live performance, and if they won't do it in English, they're going to finish lower than they should. A shame, because lyrically this is probably the best of the 24, just not musically. For those who have seen 'The League Of Gentlemen', don't you think Sestre's lead singer looks like the cleaning 'woman' who worked for the posh woman?

Latvia - Boo hoo. I liked this before, but it's really changed a lot, including a brassier intro. It now sounds more spaghetti Western, a bit 'Mexican' to me, rather than the earlier version, which was more 'Benidorm' Spanish. Maybe I'll get used to it. The video is just trippy Teletubby land, as people have already said. The second video with a man doing a cartwheel.

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