[Book of Chigiticus; v12-22]
Tablets of celluloid were revealed to the assembled crowd. The first great prophet, known as the ginger one, didst preach to the people of his former wonders. His handmaidens St Gabrielle and St Zoe didst similarly opine, as they did wash the soles of his feet. St Lisa of Rogers didst weep openly in front of the people. And the people did recall how the saviours had abandoned them, forcing the god BB to spend many years in the wilderness.
“Vengeance is mine,” sayeth the prophet Moses McLean, as he didst wheel his idol to the temple of the infidels known as Channel 4 Head Office in Horseferry Road, in the London Borough of Nazareth. There he didst set his idol, which the believers saw as a ten foot garden gnome, with two digits thereof set in blasphemous V-shape formation, to face the infidel accountants and controllers in their ivory towers. And back at the house of Lazarus was there much choking and disbelief that the blasphemer had done this in front of the tax collectors. And the people didst consider that the blasphemer may never work in the medium known as television again, but they hath derived much merriment form his blasphemous act.
And so, after nine score minutes, didst the time come for the execution. The huddled masses in the garden didst sing the incantation known as the Friday Song, whilst God shone down on them from the heavens. And in the World of Chig was there a big lump in the throat. And the prophet Moses McLean didst return from the ivory towers in time to lead his people triumphant through the parted waters of the canal, to pastures new.
And then didst the prerecorded endpiece appear on the screens of the congregation. The electronic eye swept around the deserted house of Lazarus, dwelling momentarily on the fallen images of St Johnny, St Denise and other disciples. And ghostly spirits were heard, including the Holy Spirit of Birkenhead known as Lily. Thence did the congregation see the wondrous view from the heavens, of the house and the waters that floweth nearby. And then was there an almighty explosion, as god didst strike down and the house did explode, scattering rubble throughout the meadow. And the people were sad.
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