World of Chig

Eurovision with attitude - part 4

2011-05-17T22:22:00.001+01:00

And finally, part 4 went online at lunchtime today, with some stats from the final, some thoughts on Azerbaijan and the UK viewing figures, revealed yesterday. The bare bones of part 4 were written on my laptop, in my car, while I was underneath the English Channel. A curious fact that I thought worth pointing out, as it probably won't happen again.

Please do leave any comments on here if you get chance to read this, or any of my other three reports (links below). I've managed one more report for attitude than I did last year, which makes me a little more satisfied with the whole trip.

Part 1 - Eurovision controversy after technical failures
Part 2 - It's Jedward's big night!
Part 3 - Jedward, Blue and the Romanian Brit face Eurovision final
Part 4 - Eurovision goes to Azerbaijan

Eurovision with attitude - part 3

2011-05-17T22:12:00.001+01:00

My third piece for attitude was written on Friday afternoon, after I saw the first rehearsal for the Eurovision final. It didn't actually go online until during the final itself (and the voting at that), for reasons beyond my control. It is here. Please do let me know if you read it, as the attitude website doesn't get many comments, so I'm not getting much feedback. I'd appreciate it, whether the feedback is positive or negative or in between.

Eurovision final - pointless predictions

2011-05-14T18:07:00.003+01:00

Before I came out to Düsseldorf, I was jokingly saying to anyone who asked that I had narrowed down the possible winners to nine countries. It was just a figure plucked out of the air, nothing scientific. I hadn't actually counted. On a positive note, none of the songs I thought could win were amongst the eighteen who have been sent home from the two semi-finals. The rubbish has been cleared out very well this year.

So, yesterday, I did actually count the contenders amongst the 25 finalists, and it would seem I have now narrowed down the possible winners... to eleven! Oh dear.

Really, this year is very difficult to predict those countries at the top, unless the bookies have been right all along and it really is France. I won't complain if we're in Paris next year. In fact, I would love it, but we'll probably never hear the song again after tonight's reprise and it won't be a pan-European hit single.

And there's the rub. According to several people (but I haven't seen it in print - shoddy journalism, I know), the EBU's instructions to the juries say that they should be thinking about the potential to produce a hit song from the contest. I am confident that Ireland's Jedward are going to do well in televotes all over the place, but if this is what the juries have to do, I think it will swing enough jury votes in their favour as well. They also have to look out for presentation and choreography; more points in Jedward's favour. So, I think Ireland are going to win. And who would have thought that, even two months ago? Louis Walsh is here to see it, bless him, as he was on Thursday. He's been the manager of Irish Eurovision winners before, with Linda Martin and Johnny Logan, so if he does it again as Jedward's manager, there really must be something magical about the man.

So, my rough guess for the top of the leaderboard is something like this, but really, you may as well throw the country names up in the air and see how they land. I have no idea.

1. Ireland
2. Germany
3. France
4. Azerbaijan
5. Ukraine
6. Finland
7. Austria
8. Russia
9. Iceland
10. Bosnia-Herzegovina
11. Denmark
12. UK

Unfortunately, the presentation of Blue's song, with their unsuitable suits and the green lighting, makes me think we might not be top ten, but we won't be bottom either. It's 14 years since a UK win, it's the 14th today and Blue sing in position 14. Make of that what you will.

There's one major new innovation this year, which should add some drama to the voting. The order in which countries give their votes has only been determined TODAY by the EBU. It has been published, with Moldova, Belgium and Latvia ending the voting. (The UK votes 13th. Shame it's not 14th, eh?) They have manipulated the vote announcements in order to maximise tension, which is a great idea. It's based on an algorithm worked out by an academic. (No time now for proper research on this!) It takes into account the jury votes, which the EBU already knows, as they voted on last night's rehearsal, mixed in with predictions of the televote, based on each country's televoting history. The order would seem to imply that Russia or the UK will be up there near the end, which is intriguing and obviously runs contrary to my predictions. We shall see.

I'll be watching on the screens in the media sports hall, along with lots of friends. You may think it's strange to come all this way and not go into the arena, but it's too expensive. We have touted around for tickets, and there are some going, but they're up in the gods and it's just not worth it. I saw the show in the arena yesterday in the first rehearsal, so that's good enough for me. I won't see the interval act live though, and we were cleared out of the hall yesterday so that we couldn't see some other surprise that's planned, so I don't know what it is and I look forward to it.

What I was planning to do, as I did very enjoyably in Kyiv and Beograd, was to watch the final outside, or in a bar in the city centre. There are many options available in the Altstadt and City Zentrum, but it's too far away. In 2005, we could easily run back from Independence Square in Kyiv, and I made it to Helena Paparizou's winner's conference before she did, but here, with the distance involved to the city centre and the parking jobsworths here at the arena, who would make me park a zillion miles away on my return, it's physically impossible, which is a real shame. In addition, the closing party seems so limited in size that no one has even mentioned us getting tickets, never mind being given one. So, as we were excluded from the opening party as well, my tenth Eurovision will be the first where I've missed the opening and closing parties. I'll be celebrating with a soft drink in the car as I drive back to the campsite at 2am. Don't feel sorry for me; it really is great to be here and I realise how privileged we are. It's been a lot of fun, but very tiring and very stressful at times.

Enjoy the show, and I wish Jedward and Blue the very best of luck.

I'm in a podcast!

2011-05-14T17:57:00.002+01:00

The lovely people at ESC Insight have foolishly allowed me onto their panel to discuss the songs in tonight's Eurovision final. So, if you want to hear moi, Keith Mills from All Kinds Of Everything and John Kennedy O'Connor, who wrote 'that Eurovision history book', click here. You can either listen to the podcast online or download it as an mp3 and listen to it at your leisure.

It's 54 minutes long, so you'll probably have more fun listening to it tomorrow, when you can laugh your socks off at how ridiculously wrong our predictions were.

Eurovision with attitude - part 2

2011-05-14T10:13:00.003+01:00

My second report on the attitude website went up two days ago (Thursday) as a preview of semi-final two and Jedward. It's here.

Please feel free to leave comments, either here or on the attitude website.

An apology

2011-05-12T14:46:00.000+01:00

Blue turned up the UK and Irish fans' party last night, which was very good of them. I trouped in immediately after them, as the fifth member, and pretended the cheering was for me. Lee drank a pint of Guinness in about 15 seconds (above), while Duncan said what I was thinking and wondered how that might affect Lee's voice for Saturday. (We so depend on Lee's high notes in 'I Can', it's frightening.)

On the way in, Duncan very graciously apologised to me for the drunken conversation we'd had the night before. He said he'd been very drunk indeed.

Which was very nice of him, especially as we hadn't met the night before. We hadn't even been in the same venue. (I did tell him.)

Still, you can never have too much apologising from celebrities, I feel. And at least if proves that Mr James is a very polite young man, with a conscience. We like.

Eurovision with attitude

2011-05-12T13:54:00.000+01:00

What we didn't know, while we were happily watching the first Eurovision semi-final on Tuesday, was that there was 'pandemonium' in the commentators' area, because the feed from the arena back to the national broadcasters failed in many places. A sound desk failed in some way. This affected many countries, including Germany themselves, Ireland and Finland. These countries had no commentary for several songs. Many countries' commentators resorted to using their mobiles to phone in their commentary. My friend Juha said that watching German TV was like going back to the 1950s, with the phoned-in commentary. Scott Mills was less affected, because he was doing the BBC three commentary from London, which turned out to be a good move after all. Israel never have a commentator, so no one will have noticed anything untoward there.

I've heard that some commentators have gone back to their own countries for tonight's semi-final, to commentate from studios at home. They don't trust that it won't happen again.

Vorsprung Durch Technik.

As they've probably stopped saying now in Germany.

I covered it in my first article for attitude yesterday, which is available here.

Our semi-final table - Nina, Ken & Ronny

2011-05-10T22:20:00.005+01:00

Results

2011-05-10T22:03:00.003+01:00

Serbia - good.
Lithuania - shocked faces in here, but I did say she was good!
Greece - of course, as predicted.
Azerbaijan - predictable.
Georgia - yes! Shocked faces in here again.
Switzerland - credit where it's due, excellent!
Hungary - The Gays voted
Finland - of course

So now I'm thinking it's Russia and Turkey

9. Russia

So Iceland must have missed out, as the last one must be Turkey or Armenia...

10. Iceland! I screamed!

So, we've lost Turkey, Armenia and Albania, who all usually qualify! Wow! It looks like the 50% jury votes are really working, and it's not just the usual suspects getting through, but the good songs. Well done to Switzerland and Lithuania.

Interval act

2011-05-10T21:52:00.001+01:00

In German, we call it...."drumline". In English, we call it... a bit boring. Put the kettle on.

Hier bin ich.

2011-05-10T21:42:00.002+01:00

That's me, right now. Note healthy apple. We keep being given them by people whose sole job is to give out apples.

Interval film

2011-05-10T21:40:00.001+01:00

What IS this song? I keep hearing it on the radio in the car.

Time for a photo of Blue

2011-05-10T21:34:00.003+01:00

Here they are, the UK's hopefuls. What the one in the red is hopeful about is anyone's guess...

Reprise

2011-05-10T21:33:00.002+01:00

Phew! All nineteen songs successfully blogged, as they happened . Feel free to add your own abusive comments in the appropriate places below. I might have changed my mind about a couple of my qualifiers now. Hmmm. Thinking hat on...

19 Greece - Watch My Dance - Loukas Giorkas feat. Stereo Mike

2011-05-10T21:26:00.003+01:00

In many eyes (and ears), Greece's worst entry for years. (Didn't I say that about Russia and Turkey as well?) Loukas is probably the best looking man in tonight's contest as well. The mix of rap and epic Greek wailing is peculiar, but I quite like the weirdness.

Qualifying? Yes, it's Greece, but it won't be as high as they usually are.

18 Azerbaijan - Running Scared - Ell & Nikki

2011-05-10T21:24:00.002+01:00

From the box marked 'Strongly Fancied', here's Sweden's entry, labelled as Azeri. A Swedish song, with Swedish choreography and Swedish backing singers. It's nice, but when did nice ever win?

Qualifying? A dead cert.

17 Lithuania - C'est Ma Vie - Evelina Sašenko

2011-05-10T21:19:00.004+01:00

I've just been spooked by google ads. They're offering me properties in Portugal already, just because I wrote the word 'Portugal' below.

Now, Lithuania. Every year, there's a song that passes me by. I don't play it and I miss both rehearsals. This is that song, this year.

Actually, it's quite beautiful, in an old-fashioned, epic kinda way. I just announced to the table that this is actually quite good. "It's like worms crawling inside my skin," says Nina. Oh well.

16 Portugal - A luta é alegria - Homens da Luta

2011-05-10T21:15:00.002+01:00

I don't really know where to start. They're great fun in conferences, but how is a comedy song in Portuguese going to attract votes?

Qualifying? No, but it IS catchy, so...

15 Hungary - What About My Dreams? - Kati Wolf

2011-05-10T21:11:00.002+01:00

Big with the gays. Sadly, it doesn't look like it sounds in a club. May scrape through with the pink vote, but it really isn't presented very well.

Qualifying? Yes, just about.

Green Room break

2011-05-10T21:10:00.001+01:00

Don't those pink rooms look amazing? Much whooping on our table as a doll that the guy opposite me made for Stella Mwangi has just appeared on the telly!

14 Iceland - Coming Home - Sjonni's Friends

2011-05-10T21:05:00.005+01:00

I thought this was another potential winner of the whole shebang, in an Olsen Brothers way, but now I'm not sure it's lively enough. If the story of this song is being relayed by commentators across Europe though, it'll do well. I was almost in tears when I heard this the other day. (The guy who was supposed to perform it died earlier this year, just before the Icelandic final. He was about 36 and died of a heart attack. His widow rewrote the lyric and his friends are performing it. She's here in Düsseldorf. It must be very hard for her.

Qualifying? Yes.

13 Croatia - Celebrate - Daria

2011-05-10T21:01:00.004+01:00

She is, as Wogan would have said, a handsome woman. Why Gerry Sadowitz is DJ-ing for her is anybody's guess. I can vouch that she has a belter of a voice, as I've seen her do two shows in the last few days. The magic act just distracts from a half decent party song though. Shame they changed the title from 'Break A Leg'. It would have confused a lot of people.

Qualifying? Depends on The Gays. But probably not.

12 San Marino - Stand By - Senit

2011-05-10T20:59:00.001+01:00

Welcome back, San Marino. Couldn't really keep away once Italy returned, could you? Senit has, by all accounts from her party two nights ago, a brilliant voice. This song is dull and only jury points could possibly save it. A shame.

Qualifying? No.

11 Malta - One Life - Glen Vella

2011-05-10T20:52:00.002+01:00

We're halfway through already and Malta are three minutes from their exit. How this won in Malta is anybody's guess. Clunky, clunky, clunky. On the plus side, he's been having a great time at the parties.

Qualifying? Ha, ha. Don't make me laugh. Possibly last place.

10 Finland - Da Da Dam - Paradise Oskar

2011-05-10T20:49:00.003+01:00

Cute and brilliant. My winner of the whole damn thing if it can't be Eric Saade. I really think this could do it. The stage looks absolutely amazing and I love Axel's shirt. (He's not really called Oskar.) He's lovely too, and very funny. His album was my birthday present at the party on Friday. I couldn't have been happier.

Qualifying? Yes, possibly winning tonight.

09 Georgia - One More Day - Eldrine

2011-05-10T20:43:00.003+01:00

And now for something completely different. I didn't love this before coming out here. I do now. It's kick-ass different and I love the Gothic backdrop. She has a proper rock voice, but there's some evidence of shakiness. I don't have this in my ten. Maybe I should.

Qualifying? Well, I said no, but now I'm thinking yes. Let's have another borderline.

08 Switzerland - In Love For A While - Anna Rossinelli

2011-05-10T20:39:00.002+01:00

This is so sweet, and she can sing, and the boys are cute. But it's Switzerland. Will anyone remember they're in it by the end? Vote now! Lines are open. Needless to say, there is an absence of Swiss fans storming the media centre. The Russians have sat down.

Qualifying? Borderline, but no. Ooh, it does seem big in the hall though. Seeds of doubt now...

07 Russia - Get You - Alexey Vorobyov

2011-05-10T20:35:00.003+01:00

So he's not Alex Sparrow, as billed here all week. Back to his 'real' name. Lots of Russians are 'Russian around' the media hall here. No other country bothered to do that. The start of this song is a waste of thirty seconds. It has nothing to do with the rest of it. Is this not Russia's dullest entry in years?

Qualifying? Yes, but doesn't really deserve to.

06 Serbia - Čaroban - Nina

2011-05-10T20:30:00.002+01:00

Loving the way the stage looks for this. Such wonderful colours. It's such a jolly, loose, catchy song. I hope people vote for this.

Ad break

2011-05-10T20:29:00.001+01:00

In which we saw Stefan Raab at the opening party, getting the acts to sing a song which you may hear later. What did you see in the UK? Coxy?

05 Turkey - Live It Up - Yüksek Sadakat

2011-05-10T20:26:00.003+01:00

Turkey's weakest song in years and yet still better than many of the others. The hook is repeated often enough though to see this through.

Qualifying? Yes, it's Turkey (even without the UK's usual 10 or 12 points).

04 Armenia - Boom Boom - Emmy

2011-05-10T20:20:00.003+01:00

Father Christmas in a boxing glove? The world's gone mad. These dancers (3/4 of them) are the guys who did Opa for Greece, which was very good, and now they've been reduced to this. It's rubbish, but it's catchy rubbish. Crucially though, if they're boxers, why aren't they shirtless? Who ever heard of boxers in t-shirts? Zero marks for concept.

Qualifying? Yes, it's Armenia, and it's catchy. Boom, boom, chaka, chaka.

03 Albania - Feel The Passion - Aurela Gaçe

2011-05-10T20:17:00.004+01:00

Maybe I should have put this in my ten instead? It certainly looks dramatic and she can belt 'em out. That's not sweat on her neck - it's glitter. "It's just shouting," says Nina, next to me.

Qualifying? Borderline.

02 Norway - Haba Haba - Stella Mwangi

2011-05-10T20:16:00.001+01:00

I didn't think she could sing when she won the Norwegian final. Now she sounds really ropey again. Too husky and flat. Regretting putting this in my ten predictions instead.

Qualifying? Borderline.

Pointless predictions

2011-05-10T20:12:00.002+01:00

A month ago, we had a preview party in Manchester. These were my predictions then, and nine of them are the same now. So, take out Portugal (sadly) and add in Norway (against my better judgment and those are my ten predictions.

01 Poland - Jestem - Magdalena Tul

2011-05-10T20:08:00.002+01:00

Sound problems? She's sounding ropey from the off and there seemed to be a dip in volume. This is a terrible opening to a not brilliant semi-final anyway. Millions will be turning off now. Come back on Thursday; it's better!

Remember, UK viewers, we vote tonight. We can't vote for Jedward or the English bloke who's singing for Romania. That's Thursday.

Qualifying? No.

Eurovision Düsseldorf - semi-final 1 - the live blog!

2011-05-10T19:59:00.002+01:00

Okay, it's one minute to nine here in Düsseldorf. I've decided to blog this live, once the songs start. Here goes.

21.03 The hall LOOKS fuller than it is. They've done well seating people where they're needed. The whole top layer is empty though.

21.04 I've laughed at the hosts already. This is a first. Something genuinely funny happened.

21.06 Start voting! But how can we? We need songs! Here they are!
I'm loving the Villa colours in the arena. Nice lighting.

Brusseldorf - The Road Trip - update

2011-05-04T15:44:00.000+01:00

Guten Tag! It's day seven of the road trip and all is well here in the dorf of Düssel. I can't believe I've been away from home for six days already on my drive to take in my friend's stag weekend in Brussels and Eurovision here in Düsseldorf.

I started off last Thursday, with a great night out in central London. After a fantastic meal at Mildred's restaurant in Soho, my friend Deb and I went to the Douze Points night at the Retro bar off The Strand. Despite not being able to hear any of the night's tracks, due to the pitiful sound system in the pub, we somehow managed to vote on all the songs in the second Eurovision semi-final and declare the Brit guy singing for Romania as the winner, just one point (I think) of Sweden's Eric Saade in second. There were another eight songs voted through to the Retro bar's version of the Eurovision final, but we were having too much of a laugh (and a few beers) for me to remember who they were. There was a real buzz in the air on Thursday night, with warm weather, people drinking outside the pubs and some people walking around with their Union flags and other regalia, in advance of the royal wedding the next morning. We saw the screens in Trafalgar Square from a distance, but my suggestion that we go down The Mall and poke sleeping tourists with sticks wasn't taken up by my friends.

Friday, royal wedding day, and I experienced the whole thing via the brilliance of Radio 5 Live, as I drove from Walthamstow to Calais. It was slightly surreal. And even my staunch Republican heart was moved to almost man tears a few times during the build-up, just because of the feeling that there was a big, national event going on. I arrived at Eurotunnel Folkestone with a couple of hours to spare before my booked crossing. At this point (and here begins a sorry tale which had unfortunate repercussions later on), I tried to buy a car cradle and car charger for my new Motorola Defy phone, which I had only picked up on the way down to London on Thursday and had only been able to charge up for the first time on Friday morning, just before I left for the coast. (I had dropped my previous phone and cracked the screen a few days before, hence the urgent need for a new mobile before coming away, partly to use the phone's satnav in getting to Brussels and Düsseldorf. I had made sure that I picked a phone which said 'car cradle included' on the T-Mobile website, but the useless tossers at T-Mobile didn't send one. The Eurotunnel terminal didn't have one for Motorola phones, despite there being several likely shops there, "because Dixons has closed", as one assistant explained, pointing to the closed unit opposite. Here's a business tip that might catch on: start stocking things that people want to buy. Just a thought.)

Anyhow, after watching people standing around the Eurotunnel terminal, watching the royal couple on the TV screens, as Wills and Kate were in the royal landau, it was time to drive into the big sardine tin and be shipped under the English Channel.

And that will have to do for now, as Denmark's bunch of hunks are about to rehearse, so I'm going to take the long walk into the arena. I will catch up soon. Bis bald!

Heute beginnt die Reise.

2011-04-28T00:36:00.002+01:00

(The road trip starts today.)

Chig's drive to Düsseldorf starts today, via the Retro bar in London tonight for Douze Points (semi-final 2) and a sleep in Walthamstow, then Eurotunnel tomorrow and a drive from Calais across a tiddly bit of France and halfway into Belgium for a stag weekend in Brussels. On Monday, another couple of hours' drive to the campsite on the Unterbachersee in Düsseldorf which will be my home for the following fourteen nights, if I can put up my new, bigger tent.

Camp Chig! Camp Eurovision! Call it what you will. It's going to be a very different Eurovision, and hopefully a lot of fun.

Eurovision rehearsals start this Sunday (1st May). I'll be reporting back from Tuesday 3rd onwards. Bis bald, meine Freunde!

Wir gehen nach Deutschland!

2011-04-14T23:37:00.001+01:00

One month tonight, it will all be over in Düsseldorf, as the Eurovision final takes place. So it comes as some relief, at this late stage, to be given accreditation today for this year's contest. I'll be doing the same job as last year, for attitude magazine's website. Hurrah! I'll be there from Tuesday 3 May (and will therefore be in Germany for my birthday too, as well as election/referendum night). Watch this space.

It's not Paddy's day

2011-03-17T20:29:00.003Z

With an uncanny sense of timing for St. Paddy's day, the very lovely Paddy O'Connell has revealed on twitter today that he has been relieved of his Eurovision duties and will not be commentating on the semi-finals this year;

Just heard I'm being refreshed from EUROVISION, so if you're a broadcaster needing commentary in English, French, or my new German plz tweet

'Refreshed' is such a lovely, gentle word for being sacked, isn't it?

Paddy's glamourous assistant, Sarah Cawood, has also twitterised the same news;

Sad news: @paddy_o_c & I are being stood down from Eurovision duties this year:( On the upside: I can now have a Eurovision party! Whoop!

This is sad news for me and also for Paddy, who is quite the enthusiast, and has become more so since he started this job, partly because various London friends of mine have ~~taken him under their wing in the last few years, had him round for various parties, subjected him to long-forgotten Eurovision videos and fed him their Eurovision propaganda~~ helped him with his research.

As it won't be happening again, here is a final picture of Ms Cawood on last year's BBC Eurovision day trip, where a coachload of us journos toured the sights of Oslo with Josh Dubovie and the BBC PR team, as some people interviewed Josh and some of us photographed him. (It had the desired effect, as a larger version of this very pic ended up accompanying one of my pieces for the attitude website, plus another one on another day.) Oh, and your licence fee paid for me to have an ice cream. Tell the Daily Mail. I don't care.

Seconds after this picture was taken, Josh, Sarah, myself and a handful of other people squeezed into a little cube on a spring, in which we were shown a film to experience the thrills (and no spills) of downhill skiing, while being tossed around in the cube, but without having to bother actually getting on Oslo's Olympic ski slope, which was directly above us (and which is highly visible on the city's skyline). Very good fun it was too.

So, farewell Paddy and Sarah. Who will ever forget, "You can't have a ley without a rimi rimi?" and other Paddy commentary classics? But the question is, who will replace them? Who could? My mind is a blank. Any suggestions?

It's Paddy's day

2011-03-17T20:09:00.003Z

DL-2011-03-13 198c
Originally uploaded by Chig66.

So here is a set of pictures on flickr which I took on Sunday at Birmingham's St. Patrick's day parade. Surprisingly, this was the first time I've ever attended the event, despite;

(a) being of Irish descent on both sides of my family
(b) being in Birmingham for over 26 years
(c) living within walking distance of Digbeth, where the parade is held

I was really surprised how long the parade is and how many people turned up for it. It was sunny, which no doubt helped. The atmosphere was great and I will definitely go again, hopefully with some friends and some alcohol next time. I also took the opportunity to purchase a couple of Irish flags, which will come in handy in Duesseldorf.

The full set of 83 photos is here.

Ikväll är det natt

2011-03-12T16:51:00.000Z

With any luck, Sweden will be picking this tonight to represent them in Düsseldorf. Eric Saade's 'Popular' has been in my head every day for the last two weeks. You can't beat a Boney M. intro and the routine will keep German glaziers in business for a fortnight. Do it, Sverige!

Failing that, Linda Bengtzing, please! It's her turn.

Or The Moniker. Because this song's also pretty damn good.

Tonight's the night

2011-03-11T22:48:00.000Z

...for Blue on The Graham Norton Show.

Time for the new, 'official' Eurovision photo, with the boys' new, official Eurovision image.

m

Blue vs. Jedward

2011-03-10T23:32:00.002Z

So here it is, the UK's Eurovision entry, I Can, by Blue. It has been revealed to the world today, as they recorded an appearance on the Graham Norton show tonight, for screening tomorrow. What do you think of the song?

Here also is Jedward's rather cheap video for their Irish Eurovision entry, Lipstick. It's already been a #2 hit in Ireland, held off the top spot by Lady Gaga's Born This Way.

Now, I like Blue and I like Jedward, but which is best? There's only one way to find out... FIGHT!

Photo (c) Dan Wootton on twitter.

Batting for the other side

2011-02-28T00:58:00.005Z

Steven Davies, who is apparently England's wicketkeeper in some sport called 'cricket', and not a snooker player, has come out to that bastion of liberalism, The Telegraph. Good for him, as the first professional cricketer to come out. It has produced a historic, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to use the above headline as a timely joke. Thanks for that, Mr Davies.

Chig cannot help wondering if Steven Davies was pushed over the edge and out of the closet by his teammate Jimmy Anderson, who made it onto the cover of attitude first, despite not batting for the other side himself. Only a matter of time though before Steven's appearance, I suspect.

"Am I heading for a car crash?"

2011-02-12T00:55:00.003Z

~~Jedward have sung their way to Eurovision!~~ Jedward's backing vocalists have secured their tickets to Düsseldorf! By cleverly holding their mics a long way from their mouths and having four backing vocalists singing the whole song (it's called the Dana International technique), those cheeky Grimes twins have just made Eurovision 2011 a whole lot more fun. With Blue and Jedward, it's poptastic already!

Here they come, here they come, dum-du-dum, du-dum, du-dum!

Check my collar, collar! Hey! Hey, hey! (It's bloody catchy, innit?)

We have our winner!

2011-01-19T23:06:00.000Z

Is it too soon to say this?

We need Iceland to pick this first, admittedly, but if they do, could Yohanna go one place better than her 2009 success, being Eurovision runner-up to the runaway Rybak?

This is rather marvellous. I've no idea what it's about, except that the title must mean 'Night'. What matters is that, five minutes after playing it once, the song is on loop in my head. This is what you need to win Eurovision. It all bodes very well. And, to be honest, I really, really want Iceland to notch up their first win at some point in my lifetime, even if Reykjavik is completely unaffordable.

The grim reaper is going through my vinyl collection, from the beginning

2011-01-04T23:56:00.002Z

Consider the evidence:

The first ever 'artist album' that I owned was Remember You're A Womble, by... do I really need to say? On Christmas Day, it was announced that Elisabeth Beresford, creator of the Wombles, had died on Christmas Eve.

Then, after watching Boney M. on Christmas TV and having conversations about Bobby Farrell and his tight trousers, he died last week, on the anniversary of Rasputin's death, in Russia. You couldn't have scripted a better ending. I'd like to think his final words were, "Oh, those Russians!". 'Nightflight to Venus' and 'Oceans of Fantasy' (gatefold sleeve versions) were both early purchases in my albums collection.

Today, in a shocking double whammy, the grim reaper has moved on to my singles collection, starting with the first single I ever bought. That's 'Night Owl' by Gerry Rafferty, who has died today. That's it in the middle of my picture (below). It has the number 6 on it because I used to label each single I bought and the first five singles I owned were all presents. Gerry Rafferty was the first recipient of my own money. It's no coincidence that it charted at the time of my thirteenth birthday.

The other singles above are all by Japan (Ghosts, Nightporter, Life In Tokyo and Cantonese Boy). Bassist Mick Karn has died today, after a fight with cancer. I couldn't help wondering if his cancer treatment made him lose his eyebrows, given that he was known in the '80s for shaving them off and drawing on new ones with eyeliner pencil.

RIP to all four of the above, who all brought me a lot of pleasure in my childhood and teens.

Down with this kind of thing!

2011-01-04T21:25:00.002Z

Dear BBC,

I am outraged about last night's Eastenders. I didn't watch it, but as a few thousand people have complained about the cot death swap today, I thought I would join in. When I first heard that Samantha Janus had done something unspeakable on BBC TV and horrified the nation, I thought they'd shown a rerun of her performance in 1991's Eurovision Song Contest:

But no, she has done something almost as bad. She has taken part in a fictionalised drama about cot death. How dare the BBC take a situation that happens to thousands of people in real life and make a drama about it?! I can't imagine any other TV drama doing this. And fancy only giving people about six weeks since revealing the storyline. How is that enough time for people to remember to turn off their TVs if they might be upset? Down with this type of thing! Eastenders should apologise and then be discontinued.

By contrast, I watched an excellent drama last night and tonight, also on BBC One. You know, the Silent Witness story about the violent murder and necrophilic rape of a young girl. It was much more fun than that nasty Eastenders (which I didn't watch). You don't see people complaining about Silent Witness, do you?

Yours,
Indignant of Middle England

This week's big question.

2011-01-03T01:06:00.001Z

Eurovision 2011 - song 3 chosen

2011-01-01T23:01:00.003Z

Goodness only knows why Romania chose New Year's Eve to hold their televised musical extravaganza to select their song for Eurovision. Perhaps it's because they don't have Jools Holland or (many) Scottish people, so their Hogmanay is a bit shite. But they're not the only country in Europe lacking those New Year essentials, so who knows?

So, last night, while most of us* were knocking back copious amounts of Jim Beam bourbon, playing the hat game and receiving generic text messages from people we barely know, Romania chose this up-tempo song for Düsseldorf. Well, actually, the population of Romania chose a different song, putting this in second place, but the jury chose to ignore the public's choice and put this top instead, allowing it to win through the combined totals.

Eurovision 2011 - Song #3

Romania - 'Change' - Hotel FM

Now here's where it gets interesting. The band calling themselves Hotel FM (not the best name for a band, or indeed a radio station, unless you are actually a radio station in a hotel chain) has a singer from quite a remote part of Romania. So remote, in fact, that it's in County Durham. Yes, we have our first UK act in Eurovision 2011, as Romania's singer is from Newton Aycliffe. Davidius Bryanescu... sorry, David Bryan immediately elevates himself to become one of the town's most famous people, beaten only by fellow Eurovision entrant Cliff Richard, who lived there as a child when he moved from India, and Dr. Harold Shipman. These two have both committed serious crimes against humanity, so David stands a good chance of being better PR for the town. He was sent to Romania in 2002 as part of a cultural exchange with the UK, in which we got to keep the Cheeky Girls.

Here's a google map, showing the route that he almost certainly took from County Durham to Romania:

Hurrah for this exciting development, I say! We had a Welsher representing Cyprus last year. Why not an Englishman for Romania? (Not that it did Cyprus or Jon Lilygreen any good, as the UK gave him only 4 points in the semi-final and a big, fat nothing in the final.) But, the song's chirpy, upbeat and catchy, even if it could easily have been in the UK's A Song For Europe contest in the 1970s. David Bryan looks good, even in lilac braces. There aren't many men who can carry off that look. His voice, if that was really live in last night's show, must be very strong. We wish him all the best and, in the words of the still sadly unknighted Brucie, "You're my favourite"**.

* Actual experiences may differ from those shown.

** Of the three songs chosen so far.

"It's the end of a decade..."

2010-12-31T19:55:00.001Z

...sang Abba in their hardy annual treat, Happy New Year. So, as it's also the end of a decade today, what better excuse to post this version of the song? This video of Abba miming around a piano is from Swedish TV on New Year's Eve 1980 and it's apparently still shown on Swedish TV every NYE, just after midnight. The decade they were singing about was the 1970s, as the lyric makes it obvious that the song was written for the end of 1979, even though they didn't unleash it on us until nearly a year later, as an album track on Super Trouper in November 1980. Tonight we say goodbye to the first decade of the 21st century. Whatever you're doing, have fun, stay safe and Happy New Year!

I don't go for new year resolutions, as they are made to be broken, but I promise there will be more stuff on here over the coming months, even if it's only Eurovision stuff - and Romania are choosing their song tonight (when you'd think they would have better things to do), so there's a fair chance there'll be a post tomorrow, at least!

See you next decade!

Eurovision 2011 - song 2 chosen

2010-12-25T23:48:00.000Z

When we're planning our activities for the 25th of December, who can honestly say that they haven't thought; 'What would really make my Christmas night is for us to hold the final of our national song contest and decide what we're sending to Eurovision'? Admit it, you've often thought that, while flicking through the Christmas Radio Times and considering watching Doctor Who, Strictly Come Dancing and The Royle Family. Again.

Ladies and gentlemen, in Albania, dreams can come true. As there's nothing else on, tonight they picked this 'song' (in the loosest sense) for Düsseldorf. It's not making any impression with me, apart from her looking like a P!nk fan 'stroke' dominatrix from Lesbania, but let's not rush to judgement. Knowing Albania's recent Eurovision history, this will be revamped, remixed and relinguified (a word I just made up, but which seems entirely appropriate) before it appears as some disco stomper in English on the Eurovision stage. We can but hope.

Eurovision 2011 - Song #2

Albania - 'Kënga Ime' - Aurela Gaçe

Me, I'm just hoping that her surname might be pronounced 'gash' in Albanian. That's how puerile I am.

Eurovision 2011 - they're off!

2010-12-11T23:58:00.006Z

I know what you were thinking as you sat in front of your telly tonight. 'Wow! Look at Rihanna's marvellous breasts and legs!' Well yes, many of us were thinking that. You were probably also thinking, 'It's been six months and thirteen days since the Eurovision final in Oslo. With barely five months to go before rehearsals start for the next one, isn't it time some countries chose their songs?

Thankfully, Switzerland stepped into the void tonight, beating Albania to the title of 'first song chosen' for a change. (Theirs comes up as usual around Christmas week.) So here it is. The first song chosen for Germany 2011. It's not like the Swiss even had the excuse that they needed to make great travel plans. They could easily walk to Düsseldorf. Look:

Eurovision 2011 - Song #1

Switzerland - 'In Love For A While' - Anna Rossinelli

I didn't watch tonight's Swiss TV show, in which this was chosen. I 'followed' it on facebook, through the medium of friends' comments, while watching The X Factor. Quite bizarre, but this is the modern way. On first hearing and viewing, I would file this under 'quite nice'. She seems like a good singer. The song seems quite catchy. Its simplicity is probably its great strength. In a weak year, this could get past the Eurovision semi-final. In a strong year, probably not. We'll just have to wait and see. Only 40 more songs to go.

Chig with attitude 3

2010-06-01T19:02:00.000+01:00

My third and final report for attitude from Eurovision went online this morning. Comments are welcome.

Song about lav wins Eurovision

2010-05-30T01:55:00.002+01:00

...and I had to go to the lav immediately after Lena's reprise, such is the effect that her irritating little song had on me.

More on this later.

But first, let's address the big issue of tonight's Eurovision: no points at all from the UK to OUR OWN PEOPLE representing Cyprus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What the hell happened? Was this a failure of the Norton variety? Or is the UK public (and jury) just unwilling to play the same game as everybody else?

Chig with attitude 2

2010-05-29T10:16:00.001+01:00

Welcome to Eurovision final day! It's 11am here in Oslo and the sun is shining.

My second little Eurovision report for attitude magazine went online yesterday, in which I've talked about the second semi-final and the UK entry tonight. Anyone can read the attitude reports, but if you're registered with them, you can also leave comments, so please feel free to do that.

Unless someone throws a cheap (or free) ticket in my direction this afternoon, I'll be watching night's final in the media tent next door to the arena, which I've never done before. I simply can't afford a ticket, so I've seen the show already by attending the first rehearsal for free yesterday. My certainty about Norway winning again has wavered only slightly. There was nothing at all wrong with Didrik's performance, it's just the uncertainty of the whole event. After Ukraine qualified on Thursday, we know anything can happen. (I was happy that I correctly predicted seven qualifiers, in a more difficult semi-final. Friends' scores ranged from six upwards, with just one Irishman in my friends' prediction competition getting nine. Sweden was the one he put in that didn't qualify.)

I've heard a staggering fifteen of tonight's songs described as the winner by fans and journalists here. That probably means it will be one of the ten that no one has mentioned (to me). It really is that wide open - the complete opposite of last year.

The show itself is slick and well-produced, the humour is good and the flash mob dance in the interval act is fascinating to watch. The crowd in the arena will participate in this by standing still with one arm in the air. You'll see what I mean. Enjoy the show!

Who's qualifying tonight from semi-final 2?

2010-05-27T17:27:00.003+01:00

With two and a half hours until Eurovision part two starts, I was just about to write that I'll be watching the semi-final in the media tent. I was in the hall for the third and final dress rehearsal this afternoon, where I took some photos and was quite happy to watch this one on the screens next door. However, all that has changed in the last few minutes as I've just been given a ticket by the nicest Danish man in the world, so Chigeralla will go to the ball after all.

Just time for some quick predictions then, from this more difficult to predict show.

Certain qualifiers:

Azerbaijan - even though it's over-rated and dull. There's no way this deserves to be favourite.

Armenia - my favourite of the uptempo songs in this one, but not presented as well as it could be. The presence of a stupid papier mache apricot stone on stage shouldn't stop it qualifying though.

And, er... that's it. Everything else is up for grabs, but I'll suggest this as the ten, roughly in this order of certainty:

Azerbaijan
Armenia
Turkey
Croatia
Georgia
Israel
Lithuania
Netherlands
Ireland
Cyprus

Which leaves these out in the cold:

Romania
Denmark
Sweden
Bulgaria
Ukraine
Slovenia
Switzerland

You can see from this that it might be touch and go for the Brits representing Cyprus and for Ireland's Niamh Kavanagh. Both of these deserve to go through and are lovely people, so please vote for Cyprus and Ireland.

Easier to call, I think, will be the UK televote. These won't necessarily be the points that the UK gives, as the televote will be modified by the UK jury's 50%, but I would expect our televote top four to look something like this:

1st Ireland
2nd Cyprus
3rd Lithuania
4th Turkey

We are the winners, of Eurovision

2010-05-27T15:59:00.002+01:00

Chig has won something! On the rather marvellous Boom-Bang-A-Blog, they had a competition to design Josh's outfit for Saturday. Armed with a printer, some scissors and glue, I knocked up a little something and have now won. Read it here, and watch the video. That may not be my real voice...

Chig with attitude

2010-05-27T15:51:00.000+01:00

I mentioned that I would be appearing in another place this year on the internet, and now it can be revealed. In a move as controversial as a footballer moving to Man United from Man City, I have jumped ship to the opposition! (Or was I pushed?)

My first Eurovision diary piece for the attitude magazine website is now available for your viewing pleasure, complete with my lovely photo of Josh Dubovie and Sarah Cawood. It was taken as we queued to go into a skiing simulator (and not a 'stimulator'. as one of our party called it). Enjoy.

That sounds terribly disappointing to me.

2010-05-27T02:34:00.001+01:00

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

I've just checked the Radio 1 chart update page, eager to see where Josh Dubovie's Eurovision entry is in the midweeks, and it isn't in the top 40 at all. Perhaps we shouldn't be surprised, after Jade Ewen only made #27 last year, after weeks of publicity on Your Country Needs You, whereas Josh was on one atrocious hour-long programme two months ago - and I don't know if any radio stations, anywhere, are playing the single. Josh doesn't even exist on the hmv website, and the track is only listed on amazon as an album track from the Eurovision compilation, which seems to make the CD copy that the kindly BBC people gave me something of a rarity. iTunes has four versions of the track available, but that seems to be about the only place to buy it.

To miss the Top 40 completely would be a disaster, and unheard of in recent years for our Eurovision entry. There will be a surge of download sales on Saturday night, but will it be enough? Josh is a lovely lad - I'd like to see him with a hit.

Me And My Tom Dice

2010-05-26T18:23:00.000+01:00

Belgium? In the final?!

It's a bloody awful photo (due to the subject on the left, not the photographer), but I feel obliged to publish this one from the early hours of this morning, in case Belgium's Tom Dice wins on Saturday, which many people think (and hope) he might. He was superb last night, and managed to secure Belgium's first appearance in the Eurovision final for six years. They had failed to qualify every year since the introduction of the qualifying round in 2004 and semi-finals in 2008. Well done Tom!

Thanks to Eurovisionary's John Stanton for taking the photo. And if you think I look bad in this one, you should have seen the first attempt. The poor people of facebook have been subjected to it already.

8 out of 10 ain't bad

2010-05-26T17:59:00.000+01:00

Finnish lovelies Kuunkuiskaajat in happier times (ie. last week)

I correctly predicted 8 of last night's qualifiers from semi-final one. It was looking shaky though when Moldova popped out second from the virtual envelopes and then Portugal was fifth. I was two down out of five by that point, but I had all five of the final batch. I did say Moldova would be close, and that Poland was my wildcard (more in hope than expectation), so I partially covered my back on those, but I was very wrong about Portugal. I don't like the song; it bores me rigid, but I'm clearly out of touch with this one. I would guess it's the 50% jury votes which have saved Portugal though. I'd be surprised if televoting alone would have seen it through. We'll see when the full jury and televote results are published (which they eventually will be).

I feel very sorry for Finland, whose song thoroughly deserved to go through. Reaction in the hall led me to believe it would, as it was in the top three or four in terms of crowd response. But we are very near Finland here, so it was a skewed reaction to a Nordic neighbour.

When we were down to two envelopes and I saw on my scrawled notes that Albania hadn't yet been seen, I realised we were going to lose Iceland or Finland, or both. Then Albania came out of envelope number nine and I couldn't decide who I most wanted to come out of number ten, and in the end it was Iceland. I've been told that Iceland was in the final envelope last year as well. Given that it's no longer random paper envelopes, but controlled by the production team, I wonder why they did it again?

Who's qualifying tonight from semi-final 1?

2010-05-25T18:11:00.002+01:00

Chig with Peter Nalitch of Russia, qualifying tonight.

Chig with a Moldovan twinklet, a Belarusian butterfly and another Moldovan dancer, all in tonight's semi-final.

The regular reader will recall that I usually get seven, sometimes eight, of the Eurovision qualifiers right. If I were dedicated enough, I would look back over this blog and tell you, but I'm very comfy on the white sofas in the Eurovision tent and I can't be arsed, to be honest. Focus, focus, focus. Tonight is the issue.

First things first. Eurovision is smaller this year, because some countries dropped out. Therefore, with only seventeen countries in each semi-final, only seven are going home from each. Logically then, a deaf child pointing at ten country names with a stick will score at least three right, because only seven can be wrong.

I may try the pointing with a stick idea later. I just need to locate a child first.

Tonight's semi-final is, by almost unanimous agreement in Eurovisionia, the worst of the two. The worst of the two in a bad year. I'm not selling this to you very well, am I? Tonight is not a night I would be encouraging non-Eurovision fans to discover the joys of our favourite contest for the first time. There are very few gems amongst the doggy doo that so many countries have inflicted upon us this year. Frankly, I'd be embarrassed. Save the party for newbies until Saturday, when at least a few of the joyless ones will have gone home. Or at least Thursday, when the UK and Ireland can vote (for the British act representing Cyprus, hint, hint).

So, what do we know already?

Greece is qualifying, because it's Greece. It's also a catchy song with a good set, different lighting, and dancers with tattoos and short hair. Sold.

Serbia is qualifying, because it's a fun party tune and it's Serbia. They failed last year, so they're not always a safe bet, but 2009's song was rubbish and this is good, whether or not you're intrigued by girlie-boy Milan and his Purdey haircut. (He's straight, okay. There are no gays in Serbia. Official.)

Belgium. It's stunningly simple. It's Tom and his (mimed) guitar. He's sexy. Through.

So that's three safe bets.

We can rule out:

Latvia. Unintelligable dross, summed up by Aisha's final three words, "God knows why".
FYR Macedonia. It must surely be a piss-take. Man of a certain age has paid three lap dancers to 'love' him. Rapper comes in and steals his biatches back. Bryan May does a screechy guitar solo. This could be the Macedoine song in the Eurovision pastiche musical, Eurobeat - Almost Eurovision. They don't need to write another one.

Portugal. Dull, lifeless. The song, not her hair. I'm sure she's lovely, but the song ain't. Goodbye.

Which leaves us with eleven more songs, fighting over seven more places.

So, I'll go for: Russia, Finland, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Albania, Belarus, Iceland and Poland (my wildcard) to join Greece, Serbia and Belgium in the final. This is in no way based on quality, as some of them are shockers. It's based on history, allegiances and the odd novelty butterfly wing.

My favourite song (on the CD, and as a radio track) is Estonia, but it doesn't work on the Eurovision stage and may well finish last tonight. It's a funny old world. Joining Estonia at the airport tomorrow could therefore be Moldova (a tight squeeze though, and possibly 11th or 12th), Slovakia (the biggest shock for me, as I previously had this down as a qualifier), Malta (for having a daft bird on stage - the feathered one) and the aforementioned Latvia, Portugal and FYR Macedonia.

Whatever the result, enjoy tonight! We'll be back when time allows. I will also be appearing in another place tomorrow, finally justifying my existence (and accreditation) here by doing some proper journalism. More on that when it's done.

Visions in blue

2010-05-25T16:31:00.001+01:00

Roy, Russell, Chig and Dermot at Oslo city hall on Sunday night for the official opening party. At least one of us bothered to wear a tie.

Eurovision starts tonight!

2010-05-25T16:29:00.001+01:00

I've just watched the third dress rehearsal, in the hall, near the front, for tonight's live TV show, the first Eurovision semi-final. Astonishingly, there were no members of the paying public in there, unlike previous years. It seems the tickets weren't on sale. I feel genuinely sorry for the artists performing tonight. They've been denied the chance to get used to a live audience with the usual three run-throughs, and the sheer pleasure of performing to an audience. Watch out for some nervous or stunned performances, if they get taken by surprised by the crowd's reaction. For seven of tonight's acts, tonight is the end.

I'll be back later with my revised predictions for the lucky ten countries tonight and the unlucky seven who'll be going home. (Flights to Portugal and Latvia are easy to rebook at short notice, surely?)

Pining for the fjords

2010-05-24T10:18:00.004+01:00

We are sailing, we are sailing...

Not at the moment - I'm just sitting in my undies in our bijou Oslo apartment, but you didn't need (or want) to know that. No, this afternoon. Chig is off on a boat trip for something like four hours, cruising the fjords with the lovely people of the BBC, including our Josh, 'our' dancers and 'our' backing singers. The sun is shining again here in Oslo, where it has been hot for the last few days, with the occasional cloudburst to spoil the fun, most notably during the UK's only media conference so far. The rain was so heavy on the temporary structure of the media centre that it was practically impossible to hear any journalists' questions or the answers that Josh was giving.

Last night saw the official Eurovision opening party at the Oslo city hall, where uncle Svante declared Eurovision 'open'. (The previous 7 days, 78 rehearsals and 73 media conferences were a mere preliminary to the main events, which start on your telly tomorrow. Yikes, it's tomorrow!)

The foyer of Oslo city hall is a glory to behold, as was the 'pink' (it may have been cerise) carpet, on which we had to tread to get inside. The old-fashioned grandiosity and almost-Soviet murals adorning the massive internal walls were an interesting contrast to the minimalist, post-modern spaciousness of the Georgian party the night before, which was held inside the enormous opera house (with lots of time spent just outside it, admiring its in-yer-face slopingness).

On some measures, the Georgian party has won hands down as the liggers' choice of the week. Most notably, for the two of us here who are vegetarian, it won the food battle. Not only was there more than enough for us assembled gannets and impoverished foreigners, but I now know that it IS possible to survive a day without buying a main meal on a new mortgage, because you can survive on mini-mushroom tartlets and olives, when served by Georgians. The tartlets were gorgeous. If only Georgian Independence Day - the excuse for the party - were every day.

However, the official party last night won out on the music front. (Georgian jazz-funbk is so not my thing, I have discovered.) The Norvegians didn't overdo it, but focussed on quality, not quantity, so we had Bobbysocks, Eurovision's winners for Norway in 1985, still alive and able to bang out the schlagertastic tune, doing it this time with a group who looked exactly like the Brighton Gay Men's Chorus and were presumably the Oslo equivalent. Then we had Alexander Rybak chatting to the host and performing two songs with three female fellow fiddlers (alliteration overload!), including Fairytale, which he had conspicuously NOT performed when I saw him at the Euroclub on Thursday night, a few hours after my arrival.

After the official launch party ended last night, we wound our way just down the road to the Euroclub again, for the now daily 'six quid and not even a pint' of lager, making it last as long as possible. I had a good chat with one of the UK's backing singers. This is her in the middle, on set at yesterday's rehearsal. She was lovely, and will be on the boat trip later.

There was also one of those magic moments, where the DJ plays an artist's song while they're in the room and the cameras converge. The UK song was played while Josh, his singers and his dancers were all together, so we got a 'playback' performance with a 'let's do the whole show right here' kinda vibe. A TV camera was shoved in Josh's face, with the backing singers behind him. If you see this on TV or on the internet at any point, you may see that *I* seem to have joined the backing singers, with my own enthusiastic bellowing of the song in the presence of trained singers. I'd quite like to see it though. If the footage turns up anywhere, please do let me know.

France's second rehearsal, today

2010-05-23T16:46:00.001+01:00

Josh Dubovie at yesterday's UK media conference

2010-05-23T16:31:00.001+01:00

An exercise in lowering expectations, or what?

2010-05-23T02:22:00.000+01:00

Fact: the favourite block with the bookies for the UK to finish next week is 21st-25th. In other words, most people betting think we'll be in the bottom five. I think they're absolutely right and I suspect Pete Waterman knows this too. Here he is on Loose Women three days ago. He's out here with us in Olso next Thursday and will be in our media conference on Friday, along with Josh and Graham Norton.

Breaking news

2010-05-22T16:20:00.001+01:00

The French are now rehearsing, and they're making fine use of their vote-grabbing asset below. He shamelessly rips his shirt off and engages in some dance action, before returning to the mic stand. I can't recall a shirtless backing singer at Eurovision before, but he has the torso for it. My only complaint is that he isn't on camera enough. Come on NRK, sort it out!

Sacre bleu!

2010-05-22T11:51:00.001+01:00

Of course, dear reader, you want to hear all the buzz from rehearsals and parties here in the land of Eurovisionia. However, I am too busy staring at this photo, which my friend, the lovely John Stanton, allowed me to take on his camera last night after my phone had battery death.

In the unofficial Hunks of Eurovision contest, here is last night's New Entry, straight in at number one, out of nowhere and fresh off a plane at the Russian party. We had no warning that such a vision of hunkiness would be turning up - and I suddenly like the French entry (ooh, madam!) a whole lot more. He's a backing singer for France's Jessy Matador. In the sad and lonely World of Chig, there are many totty points available for any of the following on a man:

1) short hair
2) a white vest
3) interesting tattoos
4) being French

A combination of all four sends my tottymeter into overdrive, so now I must go for a 'lie down'. Enjoy!

1 day to Oslo

2010-05-19T23:35:00.001+01:00

Mission fail. Two days to Oslo seemed to fall by the wayside yesterday, but that's because my evening in turned into an evening out after an invitation to a meal and the cinema. Very good it was too.

So, Oslo is tomorrow. I'm excited and petrified at the same time. In Eurovisionia itself, all 34 semi-finalists have now had one rehearsal each. The UK rehearses on Saturday and Sunday afternoons, both around 16:0O-ish. I shall endeavour to report back. In the meantime, as my almost parting shot, here is the UK entry. There are probably still people in the UK who haven't heard this yet, so pin back yer lugholes and brace yourself, because this sounds good to me. This really *is* the UK's song.

OMG!

2010-05-19T16:25:00.003+01:00

Schadenfreude

2010-05-17T12:42:00.001+01:00

With just 25 days until the start of the World Cup, and the inevitability of England having to face Germany at some point, it would be very wrong to take any pleasure in Germany losing Michael Ballack, their influential captain and best player, with a horrible injury after the clash below. Oh yes it would.

Photo (c) BBC.

It really is an act of God

2010-05-17T12:31:00.000+01:00

Quote of the day:

I had to chuckle this morning, hearing the antagonistic Willie Walsh, Chief Executive of BA, speaking on 5 Live. He said that tracking the movement of the volcanic ash cloud is based on a "theological model". Really? I can't wait to hear what God has to say about that, if she's not too busy.

I'm pretty sure he meant "theoretical".

3 days to Oslo

2010-05-17T01:51:00.000+01:00

Today is the national day of Norway, so it's a shame I'm not there yet.

On the 17th of May, Norwegians parade around Oslo and wave flags. Here's some evidence that they did this last year. Let's hope the rain stops, or this won't be much fun today.

4 days to Oslo

2010-05-16T23:56:00.003+01:00

Slipping in under the wire at quarter to midnight, as I am determined to write something every day in the lead-up to Eurovision in Oslo. I have been totally distracted today, first by reading loads and loads of blogging about the first batch of rehearsals today, then by BBC2's fantastic '80s night, which is distracting me now with Heaven 17 playing one of my very favourite albums, Penthouse & Pavement, in concert, in Sheffield, no less. I was able to sit in the garden, reading the blogs on my laptop, as it has been gloriously hot and sunny here in Birmingham, like an August day, in marked contrast to Oslo, where it has been bucketing it down for hours. The Eurovision media centre is in a tent, albeit a pretty substantial one, with toilets outside, so it hasn't been a comfortable experience today for the assorted hacks. In contrast, I have been very comfortable indeed, except for the squinting brought about by screen glare and when watching the weather forecasts, seeing the ash cloud drifting over the British Isles, grounding flights today, as the DoT predicted yesterday.

I've read every word of OnEurope, Eurovision Express and All Kinds Of Everything today from the Eurovision rehearsals. They're doing a blinding job in posting very quickly with all manner of words, photos and videos. It's astonishing how close and how 'real time' we can feel to the rehearsals these days. Only twelve years ago in Birmingham, the Eurovision rehearsals were a closely guarded secret, with the BBC and EBU petrified that a photo of the set would get out before the Saturday night. Now we have a webcam from the arena a month before the shows and a blog from the technical crew as well. The world has well and truly changed.

Anyway, my main wish today is to indulge in some pointless predictions. I drew up these lists yesterday, before a single minute of rehearsals had happened. Non-believers can check the comments for the semi-final predictions at Eurovision Express, where I posted them yesterday (Saturday 15th). So, as they were then, and not changed by any bloggers' opinions on rehearsals which I have read today, here are my predictions for the ten songs which will qualify from each semi-final. It will be interesting to see how my opinion changes after further reading and viewing and when I get there. In the meantime, I currently think the lucky twenty finalists will be:

From semi-final 1:

Slovakia - Horehronie - Kristina Pelakova

Finland - Työlki Ellää - Kuunkuiskaajat

Serbia - Ovo Je Balkan - Milan Stanković

Belgium - Me And My Guitar - Tom Dice

Albania - It's All About You - Juliana Pasha

Greece - OPA - Giorgos Alkaios & Friends

Belarus - Butterflies - 3+2

Iceland - Je Ne Sais Qoui - Hera Björk

Russia - Lost And Forgotten - Peter Nalitch & Friends

Poland - Legenda - Marcin Mroziński

From semi-final 2:

Armenia - Apricot Stone - Eva Rivas

Denmark - In A Moment Like This - Chanée & N'evergreen

Azerbaijan - Drip Drop - Safura

Ireland - It's For You - Niamh Kavanagh

Cyprus - Life Looks Better In Spring - Jon Lilygreen & The Islanders

Croatia - Lako Je Sve - Feminnem

Georgia - Shine - Sofia Nizharadze

Turkey - We Could Be The Same - maNga

Israel - Milim - Harel Skaat

The Netherlands - Ik Ben Verliefd (Sha-la-lie) - Sieneke

Controversially, this would mean a final without Sweden for the first time since 1976. If it happens, they only have themselves to blame. They should have picked a better song - they had enough of them in their final!

Oh, and since you ask, I think that Norway are going to win again*, with their version of My Heart Will Go On to a World In Union where You Lift Me Up. But more of that another day.

* Your home may be at risk if you place any bets based on ill-informed gut feelings on here.

5 days to Oslo

2010-05-15T14:12:00.000+01:00

...in theory, at least. The volcanic ash cloud is on its way back. The Department of Transport has just warned that UK airspace may be closed from tomorrow until Tuesday. That's getting dangerously close to my departure on Thursday. It may also affect the artists and delegations flying out to Oslo. Between Eyjafjallajökull and the BA strikes, I wonder how much damage may be done to the Eurovision rehearsal schedule? This could be interesting.

6 days to Oslo

2010-05-14T23:28:00.001+01:00

...and the first of my friends have flown out to Oslo today. Juha, Phil, Franko, Peter and Keith have definitely arrived and reported back. Elaine, Andrew and David are all in the air from Scotland as I write.

Today in Oslo was sunny, and warmer than London has been recently, according to Juha. Beer is £10.50 for a pint, as expected, Franko reports. That's Heineken rubbish as well! I already expect this to be the most sober Eurovision trip ever.

The facebook updates are starting to trickle in. More importantly, the Eurovision blogs have started.

You can read Peter and Keith's first impressions of Oslo on All Kinds Of Everything. Andrew has already done a quick preview of the songs.

Phil and Franko have started the OnEurope blog from Oslo already. Nick has done previews.

Both blogs already have photos on too. This is going to be fun! Rehearsals don't even start until Sunday!

On a more personal note, I did something this morning which I possibly shouldn't have done. After mentioning the Tripoli air crash yesterday, I foolishly listened to the 5 Live discussion this morning with Victoria Derbyshire, on which she spoke to four people who have survived plane crashes, including Nigel Farage, just eight days on from his election day crash and a woman who survived Kegworth. I've been getting worse and worse about flying, with some justification. I hardly fly more than two or four times a year, but I've been on two flights in the last five years which have hit trouble. The one from Kyiv in 2005 went into a nosedive and a brief trip to Amsterdam on a calm day hit turbulence so bad that even the cabin crew looked petrified - and that's when I know to be worried. So, hearing all the stats on plane crashes was rather disconcerting, especially as I couldn't find convenient direct flights to Oslo, so I'll be on FOUR planes this month, with four take-offs and four landings (the bits I hate most).

There have apparently been 1,300 commercial plane crashes worldwide since the 1950s, which doesn't include military planes or anything with fewer than ten people. On the other hand, around 90% of people in plane crashes have survived, which is a surprise. It didn't help though, and I lay in bed for a couple of hours after the programme, paralysed by fear. I'll be very glad when next Thursday is over and I'm (hopefully) in our Oslo apartment. Then I can just worry for the next ten days about the two flights back.

Ten years ago today...

2010-05-13T22:40:00.002+01:00

Nicki French has reminded us on facebook that today is the tenth anniversary of the night she represented the UK in Eurovision. It was my first Eurovision abroad. I stayed with a Swedish friend in Stockholm for the week and had press accreditation for Gay Times. Saturday 13th of May was the culmination of a brilliant week. Mike and I sat for the final next to two young Swedish women. Not only were they delightful company, but one of them worked for a music website and I got some work out of it later, doing gig reviews from the V2000 festival.

Every chair in the Globen arena had a little Swedish flag on it when we arrived. So, after going a bit mad for Nicki at song three, by the time we got to the home nation's Roger Pontare at song eighteen, after spending so much time chatting to our new Swedish friends, I had practically become Swedish. I went a bit mad for the three minutes that Roger was on. I'm fairly sure some of it was spent standing on the chair!

Happy days. I've dug out my photos from Eurovision 2000 today and put them on facebook, including the one of Nicki on stage (above). Here's the obligatory YouTube footage of her performance, ten years ago tonight.

7 days to Oslo

2010-05-13T12:57:00.000+01:00

...and what better way to prepare for a foreign trip than to buy some new footwear? Thanks to Mark for pointing these out to me last night, I have just purchased these fab trainers IN VILLA COLOURS from eBay, for a mere £16.62 (plus 4.99). Bargainous! I love 'em. Thanks Mark!

8 days to Oslo

2010-05-12T22:45:00.000+01:00

...was not the best day to wake up to news of another plane crash, with almost everyone killed. (How on Earth did that Dutch boy survive?)

At least it reminded me to renew my travel insurance, which I did this evening with Insure And Go. I made sure I asked if I would be covered if the volcanic ash cloud caused my flights to be cancelled. They clarified. I won't, because now the ash cloud is a 'reasonably foreseeable event'. Oh great.

Dates for my diary: 2015 (provisional)

2010-05-12T14:14:00.002+01:00

May 2015

Wednesday 6 May: Celebrate my 49th birthday.

Thursday 7 May: Cast my vote in General Election under not-good-enough AV system.

Friday 8 May: Watch Prime Minister David Milliband enter number 10 after Labour landslide.

9 days to Oslo

2010-05-11T23:15:00.000+01:00

Things to do while we're waiting for Eurovision.

Some of us need cheering up today. Especially those of us who reached the milestone this evening where the Prime Minister is younger than we are, for the first time in our lives. (Five months and three days, since you ask, but even without photoshopping, Babyface Callmedave still looks about a decade younger than I do.)

And those of us who can't believe we have a fucking Tory Prime Minister again.

Here he is, entering number 10 this evening. That's the number 10 where I live, not the other one.

To this end (ie. the cheering up thing), why not visit the lovely Jamie's Boom-Bang-A-Blog and enter his competition, like I have? He's asked people to design the outfit that UK Eurovision entrant Josh Dubovie will wear on stage in Oslo. Jamie's a proper journalist, so I imagine he holds proper sway with people at the BBC and it's 99% certain that the winner's design will be implemented. Deffo.

Anyway, here's my design. I can't do photoshop, but I'm a dab hand with google, scissors and glue.

Now, pedants and unfashionable people may claim that it is entirely derivative and unoriginal. However, I defy anyone to find an occasion where these three 'pieces' have been worn before in this ravishingly edgy combination.

Furthermore, the wearers of these items du mode finished first, first again and thirteenth in Eurovision, giving an average of fifth, thereby virtually guaranteeing Josh a top five finish.

Go on, you know you want to.

Body may not be model's own.

10 days from Oslo

2010-05-10T20:48:00.005+01:00

Knock, knock. Is this thing on?

Yes, we're back. Barely live and barely kicking, but back. Eurovision rehearsals start this Sunday, but I can't afford Oslo for the whole thing, so I'll be out there on Day 5. So, for superlative Eurovision news and gossip from rehearsals, try many of the decent websites out there. Or, for me, my camera and (for the first time) a laptop, keep trying back here. I may also be appearing somewhere else on t'internet, but it's all subject to hush hush contractual negotiations, so more on that later.

Paris Is One Day Away

2009-09-10T21:00:00.001+01:00

The title is true, so I can't resist posting this forgotten faux New Romantic classic from The Mood. I have this on a picture disc 7" single!

And here's the reason for our road trip to Paris. Mylène Farmer at the Stade de France, tomorrow night. Formidable!

Who does Davina McCall think she is?

2009-07-15T20:37:00.001+01:00

Chig is excited by the return tonight of his favourite factual programme on TV; Who Do You Think You Are? The new series starts with the fabulous Davina McCall examining the French side of her family. I've read about it in the current edition of the magazine that accompanies the series (I've subscribed since the magazine started) and it sounds merveilleux! Chig is also slightly amused that the BBC has scheduled this programme at 21:00, directly against Big Brother on 4. I know she's only involved in Big Brother on Fridays, but it's still Davina's programme. I wonder which one she'll be watching live tonight?

While we're on the subject of Big Brother, what is this nonsense they keep propagating about this being their TENTH anniversary week? Yesterday was the ninth anniversary of the UK's Big Brother starting, on 14 July 2000. The tenth anniversary will obviously be on 14 July next year. Is there no one in Channel 4 or Endemol with the intelligence to distinguish between a tenth series and a tenth anniversary? The idiots really are taking over...

Bye bye Kris!

2009-07-07T23:32:00.000+01:00

Big Brother should be worth watching on Friday. I can't wait to see smug Kris's face when Davina announces he's been evicted. Ha ha.

Last request

2009-07-07T20:17:00.001+01:00

Watching Michael Jackson's memorial service has reminded me to add a line to my will. Just in case I don't make it, let it be known now that, when you organise my celebrity-filled, non-religious memorial service, on no account must Mariah 'insincere' Carey be allowed anywhere near it. Thank you.

Cascada, Jacko & Federer make history

2009-07-05T19:12:00.004+01:00

Milestone UK number one singles

100th Do You Mind? - Anthony Newley (April 1960)
200th Help! - The Beatles (April 1965)
300th Knock Three Times - Dawn (May 1971)
400th Don't Cry For Me, Argentina (February 1977)
500th A Little Peace - Nicole (May 1982)
600th China In Your Hand - T'Pau (November 1987)
700th Twist And Shout - Chaka Demus & Pliers featuring Jack Radics and Taxi Gang (January 1994)
800th Bootie Call - All Saints (September 1998)
900th Lady Marmalade - Christina Aguilera / Lil' Kim / Mya / P!nk (June 2001)
1,000th One Night / I Got Stung - Elvis Presley (January 2005)
1,100th Evacuate The Dancefloor - Cascada (July 2009) TODAY!

Michael Jackson's 'Man In The Mirror' was leading the midweek charts every day this week, but Cascada's new single was closing in on it every day, at a rate which made it look as if they would claim today's number one spot and the 1,100th UK number one, and indeed they have. At least they're alive and available for any PR that the Official Charts Company may want to do with them. The OCC had to put up with Elvis Presley posthumously claiming the 1,000th number one in 2005, so they may have been dreading another dead artist claiming the 1,100th today. (And it's not as if Michael Jackson needs any more publicity at the moment.) The OCC could start by mentioning this milestone to Radio 1. Reggie Yates has presented the Top 40 for three hours this afternoon without mentioning this chart milestone at all, even when he announced Cascada as the number one at the end. The team behind the Radio 1 chart show really is useless.

Cascada are German and Elvis Presley was American, as were the four acts on 'Lady Marmalade', the 900th number one, so the last UK act to claim a 'century number one' remains All Saints, who secured the 800th with Bootie Call in 1998.

'Man In The Mirror' therefore fails to make number one (although there's always next week, with the continued Jacko publicity that his memorial service and funeral will bring in the coming days). This will no doubt surprise the many people who are convinced that it's number one already. Two of my colleagues last Monday informed me that Michael Jackson was number one. I pointed out that Man In The Mirror was number 11, the highest of his six tracks in the top 40, but "it was on Sky News" that Jacko had topped the chart, therefore it must be true, in their eyes. Sky News (and also independent radio) was quoting the 'Big Top 40', which was solely based on iTunes last week. It was not the official chart, which included the (admittedly minimal) physical sales and a much wider range of download outlets. Some people seem to think iTunes IS the UK's music retail industry, but it's not there yet, and history so far will not record a posthumous Michael Jackson number one.

Jackson has however, shattered Presley's record of seven concurrent top 40 hits, with an incredible thirteen of today's Top 40 being by him, up from last week's six entries. All of them climb today and four of them are in consecutive positions #32 to #35. 'Thriller' almost outpeaked its original 1983 peak of #10, but fell away towards the end of the week to land at #12 today. 'Man In The Mirror' at #2 has easily surpassed its original peak of #21.

Michael Jackson hits in today's Top 40:

02 (11) Man In The Mirror

10 (25) Billie Jean

12 (23) Thriller
13 (28) Smooth Criminal

19 (30) Beat It

25 (45) Black Or White
26 (50) Dirty Diana

32 (67) They Don't Care About Us
33 (38) Earth Song
34 (47) The Way You Make Me Feel
35 (44) You Are Not Alone

38 (48) Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough

40 (57) Bad

Michael Jackson has also replaced himself at the top of today's album chart, as 'The Essential' pushes 'Number Ones' down to #3, with La Roux's eponymous début album entering at #2. 'King Of Pop' at #5 completes three top five albums for Jacko.

While I was listening to the Top 40 via the earpiece on my mobile, I was multi-tasking, watching the amazingly long Wimbledon final between Federer and Roddick. Pete Sampras was there to see Federer rub Sampras's name from the record books as he moved up to fifteen Grand Slam titles, beating the record of fourteen titles which they held jointly since last month, when Federer won the French Open for the first time. Federer has now won six of the last seven Wimbledon titles, only one behind Sampras himself, while Andy Roddick has lost three Wimbledon finals, all to Federer. I felt so sorry for him. He's never won it, and this looked like it may have been his best chance ever. Federer didn't break Roddick's service at all until right at the end, as he only won two earlier sets on tie breaks, whereas Roddick had won his two sets by breaking Federer's serve twice. It's all part of the glorious unfairness of tennis, where you can win a match by wining fewer games overall, or by breaking your opponent fewer times. Roddick was in tears after losing the final set 16-14. It's not surprising, the poor thing. This picture says it all.

Michael Jackson dominates today's UK charts

2009-06-28T17:08:00.009+01:00

The top eight albums on the UK's iTunes yesterday were all Michael Jackson or The Jacksons, with a similar situation in most countries that have iTunes, so it's no surprise that his 'Number Ones' album has rocketed from #121 to #1 in the official UK chart today. The compilation originally topped the chart on release in November 2003, so this makes it the third biggest gap for the same album topping the UK chart, behind two longer gaps for ABBA's Gold album.

In the singles chart, Michael Jackson has smashed The Jam's record of having thirteen singles in the top 75. He has twenty in total; 16 solo, 3 by The Jackson 5 and one more by their later incarnation, The Jacksons. Six of them have made the top 40, leaving him just short of the record of seven consecutive top 40 hits, held by Elvis Presley. It was close though, and who's to say it won't change next week? Today's chart covers seven days of sales, with only the last 48 hours being post-Jackson's death, so the impact could continue next week.

La Roux claim the UK's 1,099th number one today, with Bulletproof. The 1,000th number one was an Elvis Presley re-release. Could it be that Michael Jackson will continue the posthumous trend and get the 1,100 milestone next week?

These are the six Michael Jackson tracks in today's top 40:

11 (RE) Man In The Mirror - Michael Jackson. (The only Jacko track to reach a new peak in the Top 40 today, surpassing its #21 peak from Feb 1988. Also made #55 in Nov 2008, after Diana Vickers performed it on The X Factor.)

23 (193) Thriller – Michael Jackson (#10 in Nov 1983. #35 in Nov 2008. Always lurking around the bottom of the top 200 anyway, this now becomes the biggest ever climber to #23.)

25 (RE) Billie Jean – Michael Jackson (#1 in Feb 1983 for 1 week. #11 in Mar 2006.)

28 (RE) Smooth Criminal – Michael Jackson (#8 in Nov 1988. #19 in Apr 2006.)

30 (RE) Beat It – Michael Jackson (#3 in Apr 1983. #15 in Mar 2006)

38 (RE) Earth Song – Michael Jackson (Jacko's biggest-selling UK single. His only million seller. Entered at #1 in Dec 1995. #1 for 6 weeks. Also #34 in Jun 2006.)

Here are his other tracks in the top 75:

44 You Are Not Alone
45 Black Or White
47 The Way You Make Me Feel
48 Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough
50 Dirty Diana
55 I Want You Back - The Jackson 5
57 Bad
58 Ben
65 ABC - The Jackson 5
67 They Don't Care About Us
71 I'll Be There - The Jackson 5
72 Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'
73 Rock With You
75 Blame It On The Boogie - The Jacksons

And the rest of the top 200:

78 Heal The World
85 Off The Wall
86 Can You Feel It? - The Jacksons
92 I Just Can't Stop Loving You
95 She's Out Of My Life
96 Ain't No Sunshine
97 You Rock My World
99 One Day In Your Life

106 Scream - Michael Jackson & Janet Jackson
109 Human Nature
111 Rockin' Robin
112 Who's Lovin' You? - The Jackson 5(?)
115 Remember The Time
117 Give In To Me
118 Liberian Girl
119 Leave Me Alone
120 Will You Be There?
125 P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)
135 Stranger In Moscow
149 ???
172 The Girl Is Mine (Not sure if this is the 1982 version with Paul McCartney or the one with Will.I.Am from last year.)
177 Shake Your Body (Down To The Ground) - The Jacksons
190 Blood On The Dancefloor

The UK's gone Jacko mad

2009-06-26T16:05:00.000+01:00

Selections from the UK's iTunes top 100, as of around 13:00 today.

13 Man In the Mirror - Michael Jackson
30 Thriller (Single Version) - Michael Jackson
32 Billie Jean (Single Version) - Michael Jackson
40 Beat It (Single Version) - Michael Jackson
48 I Want You Back - The Jackson 5
49 Ben - Michael Jackson
51 Earth Song (Radio Edit) - Michael Jackson
53 You Are Not Alone (Single Version) - Michael Jackson
56 Black or White - Michael Jackson
57 Smooth Criminal - Michael Jackson
59 The Way You Make Me Feel - Michael Jackson
62 Smooth Criminal (Radio Edit) - Michael Jackson
64 Dirty Diana - Michael Jackson
65 Billie Jean - Michael Jackson
69 Off the Wall (Single Version) - Michael Jackson
75 Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough (Edited Single) - Michael Jackson
76 Man In the Mirror - Michael Jackson
78 Bad - Michael Jackson
88 Liberian Girl - Michael Jackson
89 Ain't No Sunshine - Michael Jackson
91 They Don't Care About Us (Edit) - Michael Jackson
92 Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough (Single Version) - Michael Jackson
96 I'll Be There - The Jackson 5

This Is It

2009-06-26T01:08:00.001+01:00

Jacko's tour title turns out to be prophetic, a bit sooner than intended. Gone at 50.

.

I feel sorry for La Roux. 'Bulletproof' was heading for number one this Sunday, but will Jacko now do a Lennon/Presley?

Reasons for watching BB10 all Summer

2009-06-05T19:01:00.000+01:00

Here are the first two:

BB10 - cast list

2009-06-04T22:22:00.009+01:00

Quote of the night on election day and the Big Brother launch, from Davina:

"And remember, people died for your right to chat shit about Big Brother."

And with that, on with the show.

1. Freddie, 23
Privileged, Tory voter and anarchist. Family employs two gardeners.
“It’s time to be a young playboy.”
Wearing mad fur hat.
Talking out loud when in house alone, showing off.
From “Staffordshire and Shropshire, like,” he tells Cairon later.
Bisexual, with a preference for women but, "after a few tequilas, all bets are off".
Gemini.

2. Lisa, 41, unemployed. The third legitimate housemate, simply because she answered the phone.
Lesbian converter of straight women, she says.
Red mohican.
Sounds Brummy. I must know people who know her.

3. Sophie, 20, model.
Did nude stuff for Playboy.
“I’m clever.”
Had implants six weeks ago. Wobbly when climbing steps!
Single. Has two chihuahuas.

4. Kris, 24, Visual merchandiser. The fourth legitimate housemate, chosen by Lisa.
For All Saints in Manchester.
Originally from Shrewsbury. Went to Manchester, fashion studies, dropped out, modelled in New Zealand. Went to Ibiza and got the All Saints job.
Big hair.

5. Noirin, 25. The second legitimate housemate, chosen by Rodrigo to have her eyebrows shaved off.
Irish, from Dublin. Religious, tries to follow the ten commandments.
Exhibitionist. Displayed her fangita in a club.
Former athlete; sprinter. Has done a reality TV show before.
Straight and "really unlucky with boys".

6. Cairon, 18, student.
Born in UK, moved to America when aged one.
“I feel weird just wiping my own ass, you know what I’m sayin’?” (When asked if he is gay.)
Attracted to big women.
Fave word = shorty.
Studying music at college. Youngest in house - birthday 5 July.

7. Angel, 35, professional boxer and artist
Russian.
Tough and fit. Was a 'rockstar' - in1992 won award for most promising artist.
Dressed with top hat, skirt suit and cane.
LATER: Boy oh boy, is she bossy! She's leading them in a military-style exercise session in the garden and they're all scared stiff of her!

8. Carly
Another blonde. Scottish. Dated a Scottish 3rd division footballer.
Dropped out of uni after 3 weeks.
Taking two breast fillers into the house.

9. Marcus, 35, window fitter
Wolverine. Nutter.
Arse and soles of feet are “out of bounds”
“I think I’m cool as fuck.”
Fave word = quagmire

10. Beinazir, 28, receptionist
Muslim. Hasn’t been to mosque for years.
Named after Benazir Bhuto.
Taking 149 pieces of jewellery into the house.
"Dippy" and "clumsy".

11. Sophia
“Portable pleasure” at 4’11”.
In banking. Has lupus.
“Fun-loving, fierce, feisty…”
Screamer.
Passionate Eurosceptic.

12. Rodrigo, 23, Brazilian. Became the first legitimate housemate, by answering a call to the diary room.
From Sao Paolo.
Omnisexual. “Britain is turning me gay.”
More BelAmi than euroboy.

13. Charlie Drummond, 22, customer services adviser.
Mr Gay Newcastle 2007.
Two of my friends have apparently slept with him.
Geordie chav.
Looks buff, but intro VT implied he may be a bit of a twat.
More euroboy than BelAmi.
"I'm Charlie, like the drug", he tells Angel.

14. Saffia, dental nurse
Baby of 7 months, child of 6.
Would consider lesbianism.

15. Sree, 25, SU president (Hertfordshire Uni)
Hindu from India
Cute. Loving his accent.
Wearing Union flag shirt, waving Indian flag.
My favourite.

16. Siavash, 23, events organiser
Eccentric. Hairy. Born in Iran. Father was politician, so family had to leave. Moved to Sweden, then UK.
“Uniquely good-looking. Everybody fancies me.”
Full of himself.
Lots of booing.

That's the serious business of the day over with...

2009-06-04T20:52:00.002+01:00

Chig has now voted in the Euro election, despite not having bothered to check his poll card first, which would have saved visiting the two usual polling stations and having to come back home to see that it's in a completely different school today. Doh! Turnout extremely low in Balsall Heath, apparently. The nice man said it's normally 43-44% in our ward. It looked more like 10% today, on the pages I saw his colleague flick through. On some pages there were just a handful of names crossed out (as having voted), with three columns per page of voters.

Now bring on Big Brother!

BB10?

2009-06-04T17:39:00.001+01:00

Will we be seeing this proper Charlie later with Davina?

LATER: Yes, we are!

Vote, vote, vote!

2009-06-04T00:21:00.001+01:00

If you're not sure which party best represents your views in the European elections today, why not go to VoteMatch and answer thirty quick questions? It will then give you your score for all the main candidates in your Euro constituency. (Top Tip: I recommend you leave all parties highlighted at the end, rather than choosing who you might vote for, as it then gives you a whole set of results.)

My results contained some shocks. No surprise that the Greens come out on top, given that I'll be voting Green, as I always have done in Euro elections, and I've voted for them since they were the Ecology Party. But the Lib Dems would be my only second choice, but they're fifth here, reflecting the fact that they're just a bit too Euro-enthusiastic in some aspects for my liking. I would never vote for any of the others, so seeing Libertas(!) in joint second with the new Jury Team and the Tories in fourth is a bit of a shock. Still, it's not domestic policies, but my score for Labour just sums up how detached I am from them these days.

Green Party 51/62

Geoffrey Coady (Jury Team) 39/62
Libertas 39/62

Conservative Party 34/62

Liberal Democrats 33/62

UK Independence Party 31/62

Labour Party 21/62

I just hope people don't vote for the three homophobic parties; the English Democrats, the BNP and the Christian coalition. Nasty, nasty parties, all three of them, for a variety of reasons. But I fear Sunday night is going to contain some hard-to-swallow results for the country, not just for Gordon Brown before he resigns on Monday.

But first, we probably have to watch the Tories take control of all four of Labour's county councils tonight. For once, I won't be staying up for it. It's too depressing. (And I'm on early shift at work on Friday.)